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please can help from english to turkish thanks
(13 Messages in 2 pages - View all)
[1] 2
1.       sammy2013
11 posts
 23 Sep 2013 Mon 09:04 pm

My life is real painful,feels  like i have no more faith in my heart and life. My parents are so angry with me,for letting someone convince me to have another baby with him. Life is sad because how my parents feel and how i made them sad and disapointed them as their daughter,making them belive a religious marriage in islam is okay and having children.Pray for me please so that my family and I will be okay  again and they be able to take care of me and my children.


 


 


 


thank you  translator.Hope someone can help with this mail..be greatfull. greetings

2.       gokuyum
5046 posts
 24 Sep 2013 Tue 12:26 am

 

Quoting sammy2013

My life is real painful,feels  like i have no more faith in my heart and life. My parents are so angry with me,for letting someone convince me to have another baby with him. Life is sad because how my parents feel and how i made them sad and disapointed them as their daughter,making them belive a religious marriage in islam is okay and having children.Pray for me please so that my family and I will be okay  again and they be able to take care of me and my children.

 

Hayatım gerçekten çok acı verici. Artık kalbimde ve hayatımda hiç inanç kalmadı. Ailem bana birisinin beni ikna edip ondan bir tane daha bebek sahibi olduğum için çok kızgın. Kızları olarak aileme hissettirdiklerim, onları üzüp hayal kırıklığına uğrattığım, İslami bir dini nikahın ve çocuk sahibi olmanın doğru olduğuna onları inandırdığım için için hayat çok acıklı. Benim için dua edin. İnşallah ailemle aram düzelir ve onlar bana ve çocuklarıma bakarlar.

 

 

thank you  translator.Hope someone can help with this mail..be greatfull. greetings

I want to warn foreigners. İslamic marriage is not recognised by laws in Turkey. We do it after the legal marriage. So dont let anyone deceive you. 

 



Edited (9/24/2013) by gokuyum
Edited (9/24/2013) by gokuyum

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3.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 24 Sep 2013 Tue 09:33 am

 

Quoting gokuyum

 

I want to warn foreigners. İslamic marriage is not recognised by laws in Turkey. We do it after the legal marriage. So dont let anyone deceive you. 

 

 

Furthermore, I doubt if an Islamic marriage is possible between an moslem man and a non-moslem lady, unless she converts to Islam first...

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4.       sammy2013
11 posts
 24 Sep 2013 Tue 11:02 am

I am just writing this, because to show lady’s to be careul

well i was so deceived by this man and his family in Turkey ..We are now 4 years together. He was in university  when we met and the i visited Turkey and his parents  made us do a religious marriage which i believed was right until the day we would make real marriage in Turkey. He  visited  me  and  i got pregnant with our  12 month  son, then he went to army  and later he got work, so i could not join him with a little baby because of the place he got work village. He bought me a engagement ring and talked every night on net.. He came this year to my country  and  asked me we must  make another baby,i asked .

him are you sure, he said  yes, you have baby here your country then when i finish  my one years village i get better town then we marry real  and officially. I believed him , i trusted this man with all my heart and now i am pregnant, he knew i am pregnant and when he went back to Turkey he said it´s over. We are divorced in religious marriage

 

 My parents are so angry, they  trusted him and this  religious marriage, i had faith to be a Muslim My parents are so angry he made me pregnant with ideas he would  leave and leave my parents with the responsibility to take financial care of the children and doctor’s account. He refuses to take care of them   and does not care if he never see them. His son even has is father name. He and his family think the children don’t exist. I write this because  lady’s   be careful , my parents are angry at me and we have problems in our home because this Musilim guy did such a thing and we trusted so his Religion. I aks myself million times, how guys make religious marriage and their family’s agree and they can make children and leave like they want, then they get another 10 woman and do same think and make children and leave, does Allah not see this and how can this be right In Islam religion, when his family fast and namaz. What do they answer to Allah, i really believed to be a Muslim, now it’s like i lost faith.. Even In a religious marriage man and wife have arguments and don’t agree on things, but you don’t do like he did.. I even read Quaran   because i changed my religion to be with this guy i loved so much. I gave all my trust  in this guy  and in Allah..

I was so close to my family, now it’s like we have a brick wall between us. Makes  me so unhappy. Lady’s please  decide good when you decide to get married.

 

 Thank you..



Edited (9/24/2013) by sammy2013

5.       Abla
3642 posts
 24 Sep 2013 Tue 05:09 pm

The religious marriage is a good solution between two economically independent believing Muslims who both know what they are doing. It gives their relationship an acceptable status in front of Allah and the community. In other cases it is not fair and it can be misused (by the man).

 

The wife-to-be should know: he can divorce her any time by just saying so while for her it may be pretty difficult (but not impossible) to get a divorce if he does not agree. He can also take another wife or two any time without her permission. Within the marriage she does not have equal rights to decide about her body or the possible offspring. In principle, she is bound to obey him.

 

The husband-to-be should know: he is responsible for her welfare and livelihood.

 

Unfortunately it seems that Muslim men often remember the first list but ignore the other when marrying Westeners. Not that it is allowed. But some people just want the raisins from the bun.

 

It may be difficult to accept this now, sammy2013, but as time goes by you may feel lucky that you don´t have to deal with a dishonorable person like this when you make decisions concerning your children. They are yours.

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6.       Nadya.
26 posts
 24 Sep 2013 Tue 10:31 pm

.



Edited (9/24/2013) by Nadya.
Edited (2/13/2014) by Nadya.

Alizeh liked this message
7.       Kelowna
375 posts
 24 Sep 2013 Tue 11:48 pm

kind of have to agree - he got to play with you while he prepared himself for a real marriage and turkish bride. Unfortunately you were his play toy till it was time to grow up . Unfortunately his parents turned a blind eye to this little discrimination so that he would not get a turkish girl in trouble.

sometimes  the only thing  to say is  " F*%#ing Turk " and move on.  I am sure you are happy with both your son and new child on the way. I don´t think you would of had them had you not also wanted to share the joy of children. It is unfortunate that the father will not be involved. I suggest  you put on you survival panties don´t make more babies and move forward with being the best mother to your children you can. Find a job be both self supportive and support  your children and yourself and realize this is not the end of the world , just the end of a dream. It will be difficult and there will be many times you will wish you could just start over, but you can´t.  Start to make newdreams and goals without this " F*%#ing Turk " in your life. If he was so calouse to use this way. I would hope you have realized that he w would bring you nothing but pain and unhappiness in your life if he were to stay. Better he leave than get so pissed off that he decided to harm you or your children. Get rid of the drama and move one. In time your parents will understand what happened and will change their attitude and be grateful they still have you in their lives.

Good luck.

sammy2013 liked this message
8.       Kelowna
375 posts
 24 Sep 2013 Tue 11:48 pm

kind of have to agree - he got to play with you while he prepared himself for a real marriage and turkish bride. Unfortunately you were his play toy till it was time to grow up . Unfortunately his parents turned a blind eye to this little discrimination so that he would not get a turkish girl in trouble.

sometimes  the only thing  to say is  " F*%#ing Turk " and move on.  I am sure you are happy with both your son and new child on the way. I don´t think you would of had them had you not also wanted to share the joy of children. It is unfortunate that the father will not be involved. I suggest  you put on you survival panties don´t make more babies and move forward with being the best mother to your children you can. Find a job be both self supportive and support  your children and yourself and realize this is not the end of the world , just the end of a dream. It will be difficult and there will be many times you will wish you could just start over, but you can´t.  Start to make newdreams and goals without this " F*%#ing Turk " in your life. If he was so calouse to use this way. I would hope you have realized that he w would bring you nothing but pain and unhappiness in your life if he were to stay. Better he leave than get so pissed off that he decided to harm you or your children. Get rid of the drama and move one. In time your parents will understand what happened and will change their attitude and be grateful they still have you in their lives.

Good luck.

sammy2013 liked this message
9.       sammy2013
11 posts
 25 Sep 2013 Wed 02:16 pm

Nayda, i promise you i did not know this religious marriage meant nothing,in my mind it was a promise for us to get officially married . i was 4 years with this guy, i knew he was the man i would have children and spend all my life with..I would never had children or sleep with him, if i knew this marriage meant nothing and he was not honest  about this religious marriage..well this how one learns the hard way, men who decieve one and lie..but i never get married, i keep my promise to Allah in this  religious marriage i made and move on and take care my children..my little boy is my heart and soul, so he brings so much love in my life, Allah gave him for a reason to me and the baby i am pregnat with, Allah gives baby´s with reasons, so i see what this reason is...at least this guy will have  to answer to Allah not me..thank you all your comments..  Have a great day...

10.       AlphaF
5677 posts
 25 Sep 2013 Wed 03:00 pm

 

Quoting sammy2013

Nayda, i promise you i did not know this religious marriage meant nothing,in my mind it was a promise for us to get officially married . i was 4 years with this guy, i knew he was the man i would have children and spend all my life with..I would never had children or sleep with him, if i knew this marriage meant nothing and he was not honest  about this religious marriage..well this how one learns the hard way, men who decieve one and lie..but i never get married, i keep my promise to Allah in this  religious marriage i made and move on and take care my children..my little boy is my heart and soul, so he brings so much love in my life, Allah gave him for a reason to me and the baby i am pregnat with, Allah gives baby´s with reasons, so i see what this reason is...at least this guy will have  to answer to Allah not me..thank you all your comments..  Have a great day...

You can try to force him to pay for his kids thru legal courts, if you can prove that (a) he is their father, (b) that you have been lead into pregnacy trusting a false promise of marriage.

(a) is easy enough to prove thru genetic (medical) examinations, provided that the court rules so,

(b) may be hard to prove, unless you have witnesses., photographs, letters etc

I do not know further legal details to help you. I suggest you seek assistance from a competent lawyer, experienced in similar cases.

Good luck !

 



Edited (9/25/2013) by AlphaF

TheNemanja, sonskynliefde, elenagabriela and sammy2013 liked this message
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