Selam,

I have been invited to turkey by a guy i met in turkey and am in love with.
I really want to go and see him, he is at university and has made preparations for me to stay there.

However I knew the problem would be telling my family.
I want to go in a couple of weeks. I tried postponing telling my family i want to go for as long as possible but realised I had to eventually.

I told my mum yesterday and she did not take me seriously, so I told her I was serious. Then today i brought it up again, she said her and my dad had discussed it and that they say no, i am too young. My older sister also said the same and got angry with me telling me I think I am older than I am and that just because I seem older than my age does not mean I am

I am so frustrated because I really want to go and see my love. I am extremely sad. My parents think I am too young to go alone (I am 16) and say they dont want me to go because they do not know the person I am in love with. I am devastated because they seem insistent on the fact that I cannot go.
Does anyone have any advice that can help me to show my parents that there is no problem with me going?

Please someone help me.

if i were you i would listen to your parents your too young to make such decisions

I agree, I hate to say it, but I think you are way too young to go and see him. Perhaps it would be better if you could take an older person along with you too - an older sister perhaps?

My heart sinks when people say it though.
No chance of taking an older sister.
The annoying thing is I feel like so much older than my age...

you wont feel older when your alone in a foriegn country and you and your boyfriend argue who will you run too then because your mum wont be there seriously dont go you will be sorry

Ahhh I know how you feel . You DO feel older at 16, I did, (and in some ways i still feel 16 !) but trust me, you are very vulnerable to travel alone. Your parents would be right to be concerned. I don't want to sound patronising because I am sure you are sensible and mature in many ways, but you need to take care . Good luck!

well, i am turk and i have to confess in everywhere u can find a man who loves u just coz of ur money.. and u cant know what happens in turkey.. u r too young.. u can trust urself but real world changes ur self-confident.. be careful..may be u can go there without ur family permission but if i were u, i can say myself i am too young, i have to wait for nearly 2-3 years for this...

My advice is : don't go on your own girl! in this world you can't trust everybody.....how long have you been with him? do you know how serious he is about your relationship?
Listen to your parents....many times we don't do that way and regret later....
If this man loves you , he WILL RESPECT your decision and he is the one who will come to visit you.
Take care,you are so young , good luck...you love him but think with your brain and not only with your heart and the first one tells you : BE CAREFUL!
Dilara.

hi ,
i know this must be very hard for you -- feelings for someone are the same at any age be it 16 or 60!!! I am not going to tell you not to go but , believe me , it can br very scary all alone in a strange country!!

Also there sre some airlines that won't let you fly unaccompanied under the age of 18 without your parents consent.

All i can say isd if your relationship is meant to last the distance and time it will do and then maybe your parents will have a different view of things ,

keep smiling and all good luck to you


ELAINE X

hey shel,
im probably not going to say anything different to what the others have said. and i dont want to tell u what u should do or not do.

however, try and see it from ur parents side of things. ur parents r just being parents. they r worried and they want to protect u...which is rightly so. i would be a little worried if they didnt care what u did.

just the fact that u didnt tell them u wanted to go until the last minute...doesnt that tell u something?

if ur love was meant to be, then it will stand the test of time and distance. maybe then ur parents will realise how deep ur feelings r for this guy. and by then they will hopefully get to know him and let u go see him on ur own.

like some of the others have said, if he truly loves u, then he will respect ur decision, no matter what it is, and he will wait for u.

if he doesnt, then move on...u r still young, u will probably have many more loves in ur lifetime.

causing a fight or a break up of ur family is not worth it for a guy...trust me i know, been there, done that.

just remember this...ur family will be there for u for ur lifetime, through thick and thin. as the saying goes, blood is thicker than water.

not sure if that helped u...

hi shel,
two words: DONT GO!
I am also 16 and my home is the worst place for me and I have not been happy in years and there is nothing more i want than to get out of here. But I had an experiece in Turkey that effected me for the rest of my life.
One of my best mates was like me and ended up doing a runner to Turkey and he asked me if I wanted to go with him and I said yes. Unfortunatly I didn't end up going (long story).
I still want to get out of this place and if I had the chance I would run and take it but that's me and I can guarantee you my life is worse than yours, so I advise you with all my heart not to go.
Please listen to me because I am 16 and in a worse posisition than yourself.
Everyone says I am too serious and smart for my age (that I am more like an adult) but that is because of what I have been through and so I have to agree with them because I act too old for my age but that is something I can not help and something they will not understand.

Good luck in what ever your decision is.

i feel for you but at the same time 16 is too young to travel to turkey alone maybe if you took a family member with you or maybe i think if he likes and respects you as much as what you say then he would come to visit with you if your parents aggree. , can i ask how old hes is ?).

Hi,

Thankyou all for your comments, I do take into account what other people have to say.
I completely agree with a lot of things that people have said and some of the things my mum has said, however I see the problems that have been suggested as not too great.

He is 20, this year he is finishing his degree and wants to come to England. I have heard lots about turkish people only wanting money and an easy way to come to england so I have been quite wary-it takes a lot for someone to gain my trust. But he has no ambitions to move here and has even offered to send money to pay for a flight.

Once again thankyou for your advice everyone...

HI!!

There is your answer then!! After he has finished uni see if your parents would allow himto visit here -- they would have to invite him and he would need to show that he has some dfunds in his bank but if you are still serious about him when he finishes uni maybe that would be the best way. think about it-- time goes fast !!!

take care, ELAINE XX

I agree with your family too. you are too young and in my opinion you must wait a bit for somethings. if ı were u I would introduce him with my family first, maybe in an summer holiday in turkey, if they believe and trust him, they will let you go by yourself everytime you want. dont do a mistake, if you really love him, you must learn to wait... if he loves you he will understand you.

I am not a girl and older than 16. Even though this I am afraid to go abroad. Is this anormal?:S

In reality, not just in Turkey, all over the world it is not logical to go yourself. Girl or boy, doesn't matter. If you say "I know Turkey very well, I can speak Turkish very well, I know where should i not go, whom can i trust... etc", then you can feel really older than your age. But the real problem is not age, it is about experience. If you told than you would come here with your parents or another person/people who you can really trust and who you are in safe with, then it would be normal, and after some years later, you could be some exprienced (still not completely).

If I were you, I would come to Turkey and bring my parents too.

H

I am a Hungarian girl. I have a problem as you. I love a turkish man.
I've been in Turkey in August and met a boy. I'm in love with him. He loves me and would like to see me, but I know It's not so easy. I'm afraid of leaving my country alone because anything can happen and I could be in a foreign country, alone, where I don't speak their language.

I agree with everyone else pretty much..

This is a very dangerous situation, because you are so young, you don't fluently know the language, and there are a lot of evil people out there who would try to take advantage of that.
I can honestly understand your frustrations though. Good things will come to you. It may sound condescending, but I say this from experience: patience is truly a virtue. Please please take care of yourself, and I honestly wish the best for you.

- Eva ♥

thanks for the comments!

it is very helpful to hear everyone's advice!