Dear Aenigma,

First of all, I was talking about the low ranking countries.

Secondly I am coming from a family of working women for more than 3 generations in Turkey now..  And you know, it just doesn´t work in Turkey, My mum suffered because her mum was working, I suffered because my mum was working, and even my kids suffered a little until I realised that I should be there for them.

These sentences make the rest of your argument very weak. It is this kind of opinion about how a woman should be, that makes the patriarchal society go on.

Apparantly a woman is the vital part of a marriage, I always thought it was the COMMÝTMENT of TWO people, where two people share the responsibility of having a family life and where both people give each other attention.

The thing you described above sounds like a female slave who is there to cook, clean, take care of the kids and please her husband when he comes home from work. If the marriage fails, it was all her fault, because she was the vital part.

 That is very generalizing statement ´it just doesnt work in Turkey´. I happen to know quite some cases where women are happy being at home and being uflltime mom, but also where the mother has a succesfull job.

If you suffered because your mom was working, then it could well be that your mother and father apparantly weren´t able to share their time spent at work and at home well.

 Well, I think this way.. then why can only a woman give birth?  It is obviously two persons commitment, but who carries the baby?  There must be a reason.

And I am not telling women should not work, should not be educated, all I am saying is that there are natural needs of a family.. of course both parents will help to look after the child, or cook the dinner... but isn´t it the reality that what ever country you are living in, most of the times it is the women who puts more effort???

I have a friend.  In Australia. Pure Aussie family. Very successful, executive woman, mother of 1.. Husband,??? fantastic.  He was the one who woke up in the middle of the nights to feed the baby, he changed nappies, he took the child to kider everyday.  Do you know what happened after 15 years together??

He said, I don´t feel like a man around you anymore... THE END

 So you think women being happy is enough for everything?  Does anybody ask the child?  The partner? 

And you are talking about 2 types of cases: happy being a fulltime mum and not working and successfull women.. Is there anywhere in between?

By the way, it is not about my parents not being able to share.  It is the very fact that a child needs a mother at least until they start school.

 No I know you didnt mean it the way I described. I was jsut refering to the way you put your sentences. That was too sexist. And your argument of ´isnt it the reality of whatever country you are living in etc.´ is a wrong one: it just shows that societies ahven´t changed fully

And I dont know what the reason is Im not god. All I know it takes sperm as well to get something in your belly

 No.

Yes, but as I said, I merely tried to stress the way you put your argument. I didnt even feel like reading more of your argument after reading ´women should do this, that´.

As for my personal idea: I would choose the road in between, and I would temporarily quit my job if I were to give birth untill ´they´ are a few years old. But that is just a personal choice. I just dont agree with your opinion that a woman is the vital part of a marriage and family life, and the fact that ´the man didnt feel like a man anymore´, maybe has to do with ´how society sees what a man should be´.

 oh, you are a dreamwife! if my husband knew about your existence i would get a divorce paper tomorrow

thank God, girls like dk or lir turned into feminists! two years ago they would be on your side, merih.

btw, i know the nature of your opinions been there (and hate it) millions of women think in your category. almost 99% in the east and unfortunately maybe 30% in the west. so it looks like you are in majority.

 typical DK

 with todays technology we actually dont need anything from men

ah, what is a millions of sperm comparing to one and only precious egg?

 This is my opinion.. this is what I understand from equality..  And believe me 99% of women in the east doesn´t think like me.  You can not imagine how much pressure I have because I stopped working.. because I have more than 1 kid..

I think in developing countries like Turkey, woman want to be more effective in life, they want to work, compete, and give days and nights to their jobs.  At least in Australia, it is vice versa.. women work, until they have babies, stop working for a couple of years to care for the baby, then go back to work.  And believe me I did not see (of course I am talking about the educated ones) any women complaining that she is looking after the baby while the husband is working, because the fact is they want to enjoy the baby.

 Well, I think this way.. then why can only a woman give birth?  It is obviously two persons commitment, but who carries the baby?  There must be a reason.

I am hoping alameda can clear this one up for you!

Well then he probably isn´t one. If being a good parent makes him feel less of a man, he doesn´t deserve to be called one....THE END