Turkey |
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living together before marriage
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| 100. |
09 Nov 2006 Thu 05:44 pm |
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Quoting aenigma x: This is easy to say, but unfortunately we ALL judge by what we see with our own eyes. You only have to visit tourist resorts in Turkey to see that the women there do nothing to dispell the opinion that western girls are "easy"!! And the tourist workers do nothing to dispell the opinion that they are only after sex/money/visa!
You CAN'T blame people for judging by what they see. You CAN change their opinions in a small way. Everyone you meet while in another country "adds you" to their memory of that nationality - if you think about it it's true. In a small way, we are all ambassadors for our countries  |
what a discomforting thought that is!! 
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| 101. |
09 Nov 2006 Thu 05:46 pm |
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Quoting alperhkn: Quoting Mary83: Quoting juliacernat: merhaba!
I`ll try to be as mild as possible, but...it`s hard after reading the kissturk`s post....
when talking about the tr boys/men and the western girls/women, the common line seems to be that "easy" is the code no for the west (frankly I`ve got tired to read and listen to this!) especially when in most of the cases the western girs are the ones lied to and cheated on...
after all, who is judging who and by what critera?
we are living in a multicultural world and pretending to have the absolute truth and pretending to be the only keeper of the value...seems absurd...
why do we even ask "what do they think about living together before marriage?"....what do each of us, in particular think? what the members of that particular couple think?- these sound more appropriate
if we ask what a certain nation think on this subject and how shall we get along with this ...... it is rather sad....
let`s look in the mirror and ask ourselves what do we think of this and what our couple think of this.... after all it is not the rest of the world`s bussiness.....and if it is .... we`ll just have to live...with that world interfering in our couple |
Merhaba Julia!
+1!Well said!!I got dissapointed and sad after reading kissturk's post,as i noticed that some people from this world have preconcepted ideas about "the western girls/women" and that in the end the men are those who forget all the things(be faithful,honest,but also respect, cherish and honour your family, ect)that their parents taught them..I wish i could tell you now that i don't have this opinion after my own experience, but unfortunately i do...And who was the one who spread this idea that a western girl means automatically an easy girl??Please dont judge other people and don't put all the women and men in the same boat!!Let's just mind our own bussiness, relationships, families,look into our own yard...There is God/Allah who sees and takes care of all of us..
Maria |
+10000... |
Ohh i never ever thought i would live to see this:a turkish man approving me!!But if it happened then it means alot the fact that maybe my message was finally understood by people...Cok tessekur ederim Alperhkn!!
Maria
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| 102. |
09 Nov 2006 Thu 06:05 pm |
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Quoting aenigma x: This is easy to say, but unfortunately we ALL judge by what we see with our own eyes. You only have to visit tourist resorts in Turkey to see that the women there do nothing to dispell the opinion that western girls are "easy"!! And the tourist workers do nothing to dispell the opinion that they are only after sex/money/visa!
You CAN'T blame people for judging by what they see. You CAN change their opinions in a small way. Everyone you meet while in another country "adds you" to their memory of that nationality - if you think about it it's true. In a small way, we are all ambassadors for our countries |
You know Aenigma, in life things are easy to say and hard to do, so that's why people prefer to listen to other people's preconcepted ideas than getting closer and really knowing those persons, but its impossible for someone to know in a lifetime ALL the western girls and ALL the resort workers to draw a conclusion!!And i have been to in the turkish resorts and I didn't judge anyone:the so called "easy" western girls and the tourist resort workers...So please don't generalize!And the thing you say with us being ambassadors for our own country, well dear, if that's true than we must do our best to show and prove anyone what a nice, civilized and beautiful country we represent Im not sure now that my message was clear to everyone... 
Maria
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| 103. |
10 Nov 2006 Fri 01:44 pm |
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Turkey being a vast country varies from region to region. In the touristy areas the Turkish people have become more accustomed to westernised ways and I have learnt from others that Turks who live in towns where the west has reached them have started to live together before marriage and this is becoming quite common now however, in the more rural areas tradition is still a very common way of life and it is not accepted as part of a relationship. parents still find husbands or wives for their children or they find their own partners but they do not live together until marraige has taken place.
I know Turkish people who come from Marmaris and Istanbul and i know people from Aksaray and their outlook on life and their behaviour is totally different ! the Marmaris friend and the Istanbul friend are far more outgoing , joke a lot more and are cheeky whilst the Aksaray Turks are a lot more reserved and woldnt dare joke in case its disrespectful.
It is quite amazing how the westernised ways have influenced certain regions of Turkey
Kind regards
Jackie
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| 104. |
11 Nov 2006 Sat 11:31 am |
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| 105. |
11 Nov 2006 Sat 11:39 am |
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Quoting susie k: I think that sometimes people rush into having children too soon after getting married, and this puts extra unessecary pressures on an already difficult relationship. |
i completely agree..i am one of those people   unfortunately past problems are only made worse by having a baby
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| 106. |
11 Nov 2006 Sat 02:44 pm |
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Quoting Mary83: Quoting alperhkn: Quoting Mary83: Quoting juliacernat: merhaba!
I`ll try to be as mild as possible, but...it`s hard after reading the kissturk`s post....
when talking about the tr boys/men and the western girls/women, the common line seems to be that "easy" is the code no for the west (frankly I`ve got tired to read and listen to this!) especially when in most of the cases the western girs are the ones lied to and cheated on...
after all, who is judging who and by what critera?
we are living in a multicultural world and pretending to have the absolute truth and pretending to be the only keeper of the value...seems absurd...
why do we even ask "what do they think about living together before marriage?"....what do each of us, in particular think? what the members of that particular couple think?- these sound more appropriate
if we ask what a certain nation think on this subject and how shall we get along with this ...... it is rather sad....
let`s look in the mirror and ask ourselves what do we think of this and what our couple think of this.... after all it is not the rest of the world`s bussiness.....and if it is .... we`ll just have to live...with that world interfering in our couple |
Merhaba Julia!
+1!Well said!!I got dissapointed and sad after reading kissturk's post,as i noticed that some people from this world have preconcepted ideas about "the western girls/women" and that in the end the men are those who forget all the things(be faithful,honest,but also respect, cherish and honour your family, ect)that their parents taught them..I wish i could tell you now that i don't have this opinion after my own experience, but unfortunately i do...And who was the one who spread this idea that a western girl means automatically an easy girl??Please dont judge other people and don't put all the women and men in the same boat!!Let's just mind our own bussiness, relationships, families,look into our own yard...There is God/Allah who sees and takes care of all of us..
Maria |
+10000... |
Ohh i never ever thought i would live to see this:a turkish man approving me!!But if it happened then it means alot the fact that maybe my message was finally understood by people...Cok tessekur ederim Alperhkn!!
Maria |
Dear Maria,
I am suprized that you are surprized with my reply, how cannot this "Please dont judge other people and don't put all the women and men in the same boat!!Let's just mind our own bussiness, relationships, families,look into our own yard...There is God/Allah who sees and takes care of all of us.." be agreed?
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| 107. |
11 Nov 2006 Sat 08:40 pm |
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| 108. |
13 Nov 2006 Mon 02:04 pm |
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Quoting alperhkn: Quoting Mary83: Quoting alperhkn: Quoting Mary83: Quoting juliacernat: merhaba!
I`ll try to be as mild as possible, but...it`s hard after reading the kissturk`s post....
when talking about the tr boys/men and the western girls/women, the common line seems to be that "easy" is the code no for the west (frankly I`ve got tired to read and listen to this!) especially when in most of the cases the western girs are the ones lied to and cheated on...
after all, who is judging who and by what critera?
we are living in a multicultural world and pretending to have the absolute truth and pretending to be the only keeper of the value...seems absurd...
why do we even ask "what do they think about living together before marriage?"....what do each of us, in particular think? what the members of that particular couple think?- these sound more appropriate
if we ask what a certain nation think on this subject and how shall we get along with this ...... it is rather sad....
let`s look in the mirror and ask ourselves what do we think of this and what our couple think of this.... after all it is not the rest of the world`s bussiness.....and if it is .... we`ll just have to live...with that world interfering in our couple |
Merhaba Julia!
+1!Well said!!I got dissapointed and sad after reading kissturk's post,as i noticed that some people from this world have preconcepted ideas about "the western girls/women" and that in the end the men are those who forget all the things(be faithful,honest,but also respect, cherish and honour your family, ect)that their parents taught them..I wish i could tell you now that i don't have this opinion after my own experience, but unfortunately i do...And who was the one who spread this idea that a western girl means automatically an easy girl??Please dont judge other people and don't put all the women and men in the same boat!!Let's just mind our own bussiness, relationships, families,look into our own yard...There is God/Allah who sees and takes care of all of us..
Maria |
+10000... |
Ohh i never ever thought i would live to see this:a turkish man approving me!!But if it happened then it means alot the fact that maybe my message was finally understood by people...Cok tessekur ederim Alperhkn!!
Maria |
Dear Maria,
I am suprized that you are surprized with my reply, how cannot this "Please dont judge other people and don't put all the women and men in the same boat!!Let's just mind our own bussiness, relationships, families,look into our own yard...There is God/Allah who sees and takes care of all of us.." be agreed?
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Dear Alperhkn(i suppose your name is Hakan),
My point in the above message was that the people i have met
in real life (turkish men)never agreed with my opinions about things in general..and even if sometimes i was right, they found it hard to admit it.So my message for your was more like a remark, but said in a good way..
Maria
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