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Travelling to Turkey

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Gifts dilemma!
(58 Messages in 6 pages - View all)
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10.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 08:59 pm

Be careful not to spend all your money before you go to Turkey, dear! {#lang_emotions_flowers}

11.       alameda
3499 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 08:59 pm

 

Quoting *Carla Louise*

I like the tea towel idea as well, I´ll have to look in some local shops.

 

As for the brooch idea- fabulous! I will look on ebay, that would be something very nice to give!

 

I really mean this when I say thank you to everyone for your contributions, you´ve helped me a lot. I think me and ebay are going to be spending a lot of time together this evening! {#lang_emotions_ty_ty}

 

 Oh yes, tea towels are wonderful. As for sweets....I don´t know....with the rise in blood sugar issues, I stay away from sweets. I´ve met too many Turks with blood sugar issues.

12.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:06 pm

 

Quoting alameda

 

 From what I´ve seen, (and others have told me) Turkish society is pretty communal and what ever is in my suitcase (or closet) is shared.  At first it upset me, but now I´ve gotten used to it and am not so possessive about my "things".

 

 This is very rude in our culture!  Why should you have to accept it?  Why are WE always the ones who have to accept other´s culture?

 

If somebody went through my things and borrowed my things without asking I would find it very offensive.  And yet.....we are always warned of what is rude and what to avoid when we have guests from other cultures.

 

BTW Alameda, I would add that your advice (regarding gifts) is not so appropriate for more modern Turkish families...



Edited (2/24/2009) by TheAenigma

13.       *Carla Louise*
207 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:09 pm

 

Quoting Elisabeth

Be careful not to spend all your money before you go to Turkey, dear! {#lang_emotions_flowers}

 

 Hehe I was just thinking I should be careful with my pennies!

14.       alameda
3499 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:16 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 This is very rude in our culture!  Why should you have to accept it?  Why are WE always the ones who have to accept other´s culture?

 

If somebody went through my things and borrowed my things without asking I would find it very offensive.  And yet.....we are always warned of what is rude and what to avoid when we have guests from other cultures.

 

BTW Alameda, I would add that your advice (regarding gifts) is not so appropriate for more modern Turkish families...

 

 If you are going to THEIR country.....and THEIR home...I don´t think some accomodation is out of line.

 

As I mentioned Aenigma.....so if she doesn´t want to share...she can bring a lock for her suitcase...simple....hmmm?.........and I actually wonder just how many Turkish famlies have you visited anyway?

 

That is why I mentioned IF she is going to a home were women wear scarves...

15.       alameda
3499 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:17 pm

 

Quoting *Carla Louise*

 

 

 Hehe I was just thinking I should be careful with my pennies!

 

 Of course...don´t be ostentacious about it. {#lang_emotions_flowers} KIS remember...keep it simple.

16.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:18 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 This is very rude in our culture!  Why should you have to accept it?  Why are WE always the ones who have to accept other´s culture?

 

If somebody went through my things and borrowed my things without asking I would find it very offensive.  And yet.....we are always warned of what is rude and what to avoid when we have guests from other cultures.

 

BTW Alameda, I would add that your advice (regarding gifts) is not so appropriate for more modern Turkish families...

 

 Following on from my post... a friend of mine told me recently that he had invited his muslim colleague and his wife for dinner.  The colleague informed my friend that he would not set foot in the house unless it was clear of all alcohol!!! My friend had already decided to serve no wine during the meal, and to ensure the food was suitable, but this was a request too far!!!

 

When do we ever see reciprocation?

17.       alameda
3499 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:19 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Following on from my post... a friend of mine told me recently that he had invited his muslim colleague and his wife for dinner.  The colleague informed my friend that he would not set foot in the house unless it was clear of all alcohol!!! My friend had already decided to serve no wine during the meal, and to ensure the food was suitable, but this was a request too far!!!

 

When do we ever see reciprocation?

 

 That was HIS home...different situation....and you did not mention what country it was in.

18.       dilliduduk
1551 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:21 pm

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

 Hi Carla,

 

A lot depends on the family, are they rural or urban? Do the women in the family wear head scarves? You could bring some English tea. When I was in England I found wonderful cream in cans. It was the thickest cream I´ve ever seen, I´m sure they would like that. It´s a good thing I didn´t stay in England too long or I´d have been a real butterball fast! It was sooooo delicious.

 

Fine hand creams and body lotions are welcome. I´ve found some nice unisex creams with things like calendula oils in them. European creams are better than the ones made in the US because of the more stringent EU standards. Fine soap is good in your suitcase, but not given as an "official" gift....I´ve been told it is washing them away....I don´t really know about it, but to be safe, I just put them in my suitcase and share....

 

Something to put in your suitcase that I´ve found there are never enough of are safety pins. You don´t give them as gifts, but having them available for use is welcome.

 

 

First of all, yes the gift may change if the family is rural or urban, but you cannot decide it according to the headscarf! There are also modern Turkish woman with headscarves...

 

Soap as a gift or something that you must take with? I did not understand it completely but there are many nice soaps in Turkey, and Turkish people are much more careful about the hygiene than most of the people I have seen (I have seen many actually).

 

and there are not enough safety pins in Turkey?! Actually there are many everywhere. I thinh the same thing about Germany, I have never seen any safety pins sold around, maybe we just don´t see because we don´t know where they are.

 

 

Quote:

If you will be staying with a family, I´ve found it´s good to fill my suitcase with clothes I am don´t mind sharing and am able leave behind. From what I´ve seen, (and others have told me) Turkish society is pretty communal and what ever is in my suitcase (or closet) is shared.  At first it upset me, but now I´ve gotten used to it and am not so possessive about my "things".

 

And with your idea above I also don´t agree. Maybe that´s what you observed with a Turkish family you visited but nobody would take your clothes, or would take anything without asking {#lang_emotions_confused} It is not a usual thing in Turkey that people use things communal with the people they newly met; I mean sometimes with very close friends you share your clothes for example, but even in this case you ask for permission. I, personally, never have taken anything form a guest; besides, Turkish people really love giving to their guests, not taking.

 

Don´t generalize things with the people you have seen.

 

 

19.       dilliduduk
1551 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:25 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Following on from my post... a friend of mine told me recently that he had invited his muslim colleague and his wife for dinner.  The colleague informed my friend that he would not set foot in the house unless it was clear of all alcohol!!! My friend had already decided to serve no wine during the meal, and to ensure the food was suitable, but this was a request too far!!!

 

When do we ever see reciprocation?

 

 

Yes this is not a normal request but how many Muslim people have you seen like that? You cannot blaime eveyone just according to one extreme person.

20.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:26 pm

Perhaps you could take some kind of toy or pairs of jeans for the children? 

 

I took lots of little things such as crumpets, shortbread, Earl Grey tea and explained that I thought they would like to try the types of foods we have here, although I wouldn´t present them as a gift as such. 

 

I think the fudge is a great idea and if you wrap it in fancy paper with ribbons etc it would look  very nice.  Whilst I might not buy a table cloth I would definitely think about a table runner.  There are some lovely ones to be found in craft shops.  I think the brooch idea is a good one too, but nothing too sparkly. 

 

On one autumn visit I made, I bought some presents before I left and I bought a woollen scarf for my friend´s father, from a gentleman´s outfitters. 

 

It really does depend on the individual you´re buying for if you wish to buy something quite personal, like clothing.

 

The lace idea is a good one too. Perhaps a set of napkins? 

 

There are lots of nice candles on dishes around at the moment, but I´m not sure if it´s the kind of thing they would appreciate. 

 

If there is a local craft where you live then perhaps you might think about taking something relating to that.

 

It´s a minefield unless you know the person,I guess. 

 

I´m sure that, whatever you take, they will accept it with good grace and apreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity.

 

Have a lovely trip.

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