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Travelling to Turkey

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30.       dilliduduk
1551 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:44 pm

 

Quoting peacetrain

Quote: dilliduduk

but nobody would take your clothes, or would take anything without asking

I don´t think Alameda said that her things were taken without asking.

I´ve stayed in several houses in Turkey and have never had to share anything from my suitcase, although some young women I was staying with a couple of years ago, were intrigued to know what was in my suitcase and one of the girls took it upon herself to rummage through my things whilst I was looking for something in it.  However, this may not be a Turkish ´thing´ but something individual to that person. 

Where ever I stay one thing is the same.  I am expected to treat their home as my home.  In fact when I go in April one set of friends won´t be there for part of the time,so I will be the house keeper!! 

 

but she just wrote

 

"From what I´ve seen, (and others have told me) Turkish society is pretty communal and what ever is in my suitcase (or closet) is shared.  At first it upset me, but now I´ve gotten used to it and am not so possessive about my "things"."

 

Here I understand that she says Turkish people take her things {#lang_emotions_confused} which is of course not a normal situation.

 

Well, yeah, it is true that people want you to feel like you are home, but is it bad?

 

31.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:46 pm

 

Quoting dilliduduk

 

And with your idea above I also don´t agree. Maybe that´s what you observed with a Turkish family you visited but nobody would take your clothes, or would take anything without asking {#lang_emotions_confused} It is not a usual thing in Turkey that people use things communal with the people they newly met; I mean sometimes with very close friends you share your clothes for example, but even in this case you ask for permission. I, personally, never have taken anything form a guest; besides, Turkish people really love giving to their guests, not taking.

 

Don´t generalize things with the people you have seen.

 

 Phew!  Thanks for confirming my thoughts (its good to hear it from a Turkish woman).  I think Alameda likes to portray Turkish families as rather primitive.... lol

32.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:47 pm

One of my friends worked in the UK for a while, and he developed a liking for Galaxy chocolate, so I always take a good stock when I go. 

33.       alameda
3499 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:52 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Phew!  Thanks for confirming my thoughts (its good to hear it from a Turkish woman).  I think Alameda likes to portray Turkish families as rather primitive.... lol

 

 Primitive to you, not so obsessed with personal posessions to others...you know...mine mine mine?

 

........and it is true, I did over generalize. I really am not that consummed with the idea of what is my material posessions...as some.

34.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:54 pm

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

 Primitive to you, not so obsessed with personal posessions to others...you know...mine mine mine?

 

........and it is true, I did over generalize. I really am not that consummed with the idea of what is my material posessions...as some.

 

 Hahaha who the hell are YOU judging eh?  What do you know of my attitude to personal posessions?  You yourself said you were "shocked" at first but gradually got used to it....

 

I don´t think you are painting Turkish families in a very good light sweetie

35.       alameda
3499 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:57 pm

 

Quoting dilliduduk

 

 

but she just wrote

 

"From what I´ve seen, (and others have told me) Turkish society is pretty communal and what ever is in my suitcase (or closet) is shared.  At first it upset me, but now I´ve gotten used to it and am not so possessive about my "things"."

 

Here I understand that she says Turkish people take her things {#lang_emotions_confused} which is of course not a normal situation.

 

Well, yeah, it is true that people want you to feel like you are home, but is it bad?

 

 

 You are right and I´m sorry if this offended you. I did overly generalize. This situation is not as common as I portrayed. The situations I referred to where ones where the "guests" had been in a home for weeks and developed a familial relationship.

36.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 09:58 pm

 

Quoting dilliduduk

 

 

but she just wrote

 

"From what I´ve seen, (and others have told me) Turkish society is pretty communal and what ever is in my suitcase (or closet) is shared.  At first it upset me, but now I´ve gotten used to it and am not so possessive about my "things"."

 

Here I understand that she says Turkish people take her things {#lang_emotions_confused} which is of course not a normal situation.

 

Well, yeah, it is true that people want you to feel like you are home, but is it bad?

 

 Sorry, I understood it to mean that she was asked to share.  You may be right.

 

No it´s not a bad thing to be asked to feel as though their home is my home and I was very appreciative.

 

One thing I do find difficult is accepting their hospitality and not being allowed to give something back in return.  I try to ensure I can pay for a meal out or something, but it is very difficult to get them to accept.  I also try to send gifts by post during the year in order to show my appreciation.  Last year I left some money behind with a letter asking them to have a meal out at my expense.  My friends were due to live abroad for  months and so I wanted them to have a farewell meal with their neighbours, who are also my friends. 

 

When I arrived home in England and checked my emails, I had one from my friends and they were quite seriously cross with me!  They saved the money and we all went out together on my next visit.

 

37.       femmeous
2642 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 10:01 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Hahaha who the hell are YOU judging eh?  What do you know of my attitude to personal posessions?  You yourself said you were "shocked" at first but gradually got used to it....

 

I don´t think you are painting Turkish families in a very good light sweetie

 

hahaha you caught her lies mistakes lol

 

you know that alameda tries sooooooo hard to paint turks and  its eastern neighbourhood in the best colors, but she tries sooooooo hard that the colors change into different.

38.       alameda
3499 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 10:01 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Hahaha who the hell are YOU judging eh?  What do you know of my attitude to personal posessions?  You yourself said you were "shocked" at first but gradually got used to it....

 

I don´t think you are painting Turkish families in a very good light sweetie

 

 Hmmm let me see, how did I ever get the idea you are rather jealous of your posessions? Could it be this comment?

 

"If somebody went through my things and borrowed my things without asking I would find it very offensive.  "

 

Let me refresh you on my comment....it was

 

" At first it upset me, but now I´ve gotten used to it and am not so possessive about my "things"."

 

Please note the word was upset....not shocked.

39.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 10:02 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 

 

hahaha you caught her lies mistakes lol

 

you know that alameda tries sooooooo hard to paint turks and  its eastern neighbourhood in the best colors, but she tries sooooooo hard that the colors change into different.

 

 I can only imagine that Alameda´s experience of Turkish families is strictly in the east

40.       femmeous
2642 posts
 24 Feb 2009 Tue 10:05 pm

i confirm what alameda and PT say. because i know it.

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