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Adventures of a Young DuDu...
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1.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 07 Mar 2009 Sat 08:04 pm

I have been posting some DuDu adventures in the politics section. Since the posts have nothing to do with politics and the original thread was about the rights of foreigners in Turkey, I though I would create this thread in the off-topic section for all those that would like to amuse themselves with DuDu literature. Feel free to post your own fantastic DuDu stories & ventures.

2.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 07 Mar 2009 Sat 08:07 pm

Episode 1...


 


Ok... Second try at duduism. I guess the first attempt didn´t work too well, as I see no scooter in the horizon, nor the cute helmet.


 


We are going to employ dialectic logic & luring techniques to bait the foreign victim into my hairy chest...


 


For this though, I will have to don my special dudu outfit of white, semi-transparent, tight speedo to show the goodie goodies. I will initiate eye contact with the target. Once noticed, I will pretend to reposition the speedo & fix the sexy wedgie. While she is taken back by the provocative sight, I will suddenly proceed to do my special Cüneyt Arkýn dive (swimmers´ head-first dive, but somewhat different - somewhat unique to Turks... only we can dive that way). Once the white wicked-weasel speedo is wet and is no longer semi-transparent, but outright x-ray vision, I will pull myself out of the pool in one swift move that will enhance all my muscles. I will continue with the eye contact cobra style hypnotizing the prey stare by stare.


 


I will make sure I will pass by her on the way to my towel. By now, she will be in the full-monty mood unable to look anywhere else, but at the cobra. That is when I will initiate the cobra dance. I will ask if I could use her sun tan lotion to lube myself against the dangers of being exposed in the sun. She will understand, and will hand over the lube. I will start with the ankles moving slowly toward the thighs. I will compliment her on her fine choice of lotion, while doing confusing circular motions around the chest area. Particular attention will be given to the extra sensitive nipples.


 


By accident, I will squirt some of the lotion on the target. In fake panic, I will apologize and offer to rub it around. She will be delighted by my manners. Once the ankles, legs, chest, belly, thighs, forehead and the cheek bones are sufficiently lubed, she will be asked to lie on her belly. This will be moment for the cobra to strike. One hand on her back, the other dudu hand will swiftly get a hold of the cell & the room keys in her purse. I will stick them into my white speedo so that she won´t notice the scam. Being done with the lubing, I will lean over to her ear and whisper how much I look forward to seeing her at the resort night club tonight. I will slide away...


 


By the time she gets back to her room, I will have looted everything.


 


There will be a red rose on the bed and a message scribbled on the mirror in red lip stick. 


 


You have just been DUDUed...

3.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 07 Mar 2009 Sat 08:10 pm

Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 2

 

 

 

After tens and hundreds of successful cobra dance performances along the beaches and resort pools of Southern Turkey, our hero, the young DuDu, has finally reached a point that all successful con-artists reach at one point in their lives. He had finally become bored with his craft. 

 

He had amassed a small fortune of literally hundreds of cellphones, bags full of expensive cosmetics & parfumes, a wardrobe of expensive silk shirts & snake-leather shoes, wads of foreign currency from virtually every part of the world, an impressive photo album of his victims, and memories enough to fill a 500 page autobiography. Finally, boredom had coiled in his dudu belly like an anaconda reminding him of the insignificance of his life from a cosmic perspective. 

 

Regardless of the vast numbers of tourists that he had lured into his shadowy & slimy world over the years, our young dudu had nevertheless started to wonder whether he would leave a mark in history. Would he, for example, be honoured by future generations and have his name placed among the likes of Casanova or Don Juan? Would girls camp outside the MTV studios yelling & screaming just for a sight of his manliness? Would people auction off his used white speedos on eBay? Would he receive an invitation to the Davos Summit to share his opinion about important things like ´the women´s rights at the work place´? Our DuDu could´t answer any these questions, and felt deeply depressed. It just felt like that one time he was severly kicked in the nuts by an angry Turkish grandma right in the middle of his cobra dance by the pool side. Except that, this time, the pain would just not go away. It would linger and linger till he found an answer.

 

While confiding into a close DuDu friend of his, our young hero had finally convinced himself that there may, after all, be a cure for his misery. For many years now, it was rumoured among the DuDu boys that there lived an old man on a lofty mountain top, named the DuDu GuRu, whom troubled DuDus could consult. This man had apparently been the original DuDu to start it all, and had eventually retired to his secluded mountain top to contemplate his life. Although it was extremely tough to get to the top of that mountain and that the old men deeply resented all rookie DuDus, he would nevertheless help those that managed to make it to his cave on the summit. Kind of like the half-naked Leonides climbing the mountain for his consultation with the Delphic oracle, a DuDu would also have to strap on a loin-cloth and try to make his way to the top, while vicious eagles & falcons, trained by the DuDu GuRu himself, would attempt to take bites of his exposed bum with their bloody beaks. It was rumoured that many rookie DuDus didn´t make it to the cave, and simply fell of the mountain - their names & legacies eternally forgotten.

 

Despite the challenge, our hero had a strategy to get to the top without getting his buttocks clawed at or beak-picked by the beastly birds of prey of the old bastard. He succeeded doing what many had failed & paid with their lives. Ingeniously, our hero brought along loafs of bread for the beasts. Just as one feeds the seagulls on the ferry across the Bosphorus, he threw bread pieces toward the birds, while he steadly made his way to the top. He was delighted at how there was not a single scracth or claw mark on his Appollonian bum. When he found the old DuDu GuRu sitting and staring at him intently in the cave, our hero knew that he had already made a dent in world history. He would forever be remembered as the rookie DuDu that duped the GuRu...

 

The old man man seemed annoyed, and yet deeply impressed by the cunningness of his rookie visitor. This young boy kind of reminded him of his own youth... He seemed different from the previous fools that had made it to his cave. Like a ventriloquist, the old bastard spoke. His lips didn´t move.

 

- I see that you have made it rookie. What is it that you seek?

 

- I seek meaning master DuDu GuRu. I want a meaning to my life, and a legacy to leave behind.

 

- A legacy? Huh! (the old bastard giggled) There are no legacies that a DuDu can have other than the hearts that he has broken... Is that not enough for you, rookie?

 

- No, master. I know you have the cure to my affliction. I have made it to your cave. I have risked my bum. You owe me an answer.

 

- I owe you nothing, rookie. But, I like you. You remind me of myself. I will tell you what you need to do. There is only one thing that can be done. There is only one path the to eternal fame you seek. There is only one thing that no DuDu has ever been able to achieve. Even I couldn´t take this challenge. Are you sure you want to hear it rookie? For once you hear it, you will never be able to forget. Once you are on this path, you will never be able to turn back. If you fail, you will wither away.

 

- Yesssss DuDu GuRu. Yesssss.

 

- Well, there is a menace to all DuDus. This menace has been sharking around in Southern Turkey for years now. She is known as the DuDu-Killer. An ice cold aphrodite from the land of the ice - Iceland. They say that she was raised by Icelandic DuDu-haters bent on exterminating our kind. She knows the art of Tantric love. She knows the dak secrets that loom in every DuDu´s heart. She knows our weaknesses, rookie. She exploits them just like we exploit our victims. She knows that every DuDu secretly fantasizes about that one special woman to fall for. She knows that every DuDu wants to be tamed & eternally loved. She captivates our kind with her demonic charms, and enslaves those, who make the mistake of falling in love with her. Then, she leaves them blue-balled, drying & withering away like dead flowers in autumn. Once you fall for her ways, there is no cure.

 

-  I shall not fall for her master. Do tell. What must be done? I shall get her cell phone and wreck her bank accounts. I can do those things with my cobra moves.

 

- Don´t be foolish rookie. You cobra dance is no match for her. She has no cell phones, and no bank accounts. She owns nothing and owns everything. She snails from one victim to another, and leaves no traces behind. You must be very careful with her rookie. There is only one way to end her menace. There is only one way to stop her from milking DuDus dry.

 

- What way is that Master?

 

- She must fall for you. You must make her fall in love with you. That´s the only way. If you do that, you shall be redeemed from your miserable affliction. You shall be remembered as that one DuDu that slayed the Dragon. Go now rookie, and never come back. I have no more words for you.

 

Our hero descended the mountains lost in his own thoughts. None of the beasty birds attempted to pick on him for they knew that this DuDu was heading for much worse.

 

 

Would he be the one to charm the DuDu-Killer? Or, would he wither away in love like so many of his fellow DuDus that had dared to take the challenge?

 

 To be continued...

 

4.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 07 Mar 2009 Sat 08:12 pm

 

Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 3

 

 

 

While sipping his ice mocha in his underwear, our hero gazed at the flat screen with the expression of a defeated UFC warrior. It had already been three months since his encounter with the old man, and he still had not been able to locate the Icelandic DuDu-Killer. Here and there, he would hear from other DuDus about a stunning Scandinavian popping up in Bodrum one day, and showing up in Antalya the next. By the time he would jump in his car and make it to the location that the DuDu-Killer had been seen last, it would be too late. She would be long gone having left behind stuttering DuDus madly in love with her. It would be hard to get any sort of reliable info from these poor souls. The number of her victims had risen to such levels that, among the DuDu community, those who had sipped from her love potion were nicknamed FiFis. Although other DuDus, who had never encountered her, joked constantly about DuDu-turned-FiFis, everyone was deeply terrified. Panic was spreading like wild fire.

 

It wasn´t just that these poor souls fell in love with her. It was as if they would become hypnotized and remote-controlled love slaves. Our hero suspected that there was more than good-looks & tantric sex tricks involved in her game. It felt supernatural. It smelled fishy. There was foul play. Clearly, this demon-cow had some kind of control over her love slaves through telepathy.

 

There had already been a number of rather suspicious cases of FiFis acting really bizarre. One case involved a young FiFi running through the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul butt-naked, singing Britney´s ´Womanizer´. By the time security managed to catch the poor soul, the scene had already been recorded in the cell phones of giggling Japanese girls. The videos had made their way to YouTube almost instantly, alerting the world to the severity of the situation. Another case involved two young FiFis, who had terrorized supermarket customers in Istanbul. Butt-naked again, one was apparently sitting in a cart, while the other one was pushing him through the aisles. A sweet grandma in the veggie section picking eggplants fainted. Of course this incident was also filmed and made its way to YouTube adding further shame to the legacy of DuDuism in Turkey.

 

Turkish DuDus had become the laughing stock all over the net. Forums were filled with links to FiFification videos. To make things worse, a group of about 50 angry DuDu victims from various European countries had made a plea to the Turkish authorities to ban all DuDu activity on Turkish beaches and resort towns. EU politicians had jumped on the wagon and pressured the government. The message was clear. If Turkish DuDuism was not eradicated, the gates of EU would remain shut forever.

 

Fearing for the worse, Erdogan addressed the whole nation on TV, and gave a hearty speech. It touched many hearts. While the Ministry of Turkishness banned Turkish men from wearing semi-transparent white speedos in public places, Turkish mothers took the next step. Similar to the US organization, MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, Turkey now had its own MADD - Mothers Against DuDuism. They wore t-shirts saying "If you are a DuDu, You ain´t my son". Day by day, it became harder for DuDus. What they used to brag about to their friends at coffee houses had become a taboo subject. Turkish men, whether DuDu or not, stopped bragging about their conquests of foreign women.

 

Leading to social unrest, the nation was divided. Not all agreed with the idea of banning DuDuism. Not all liked the way European politico-clowns were once again sticking their European noses into Turkish affairs.

"Who the hell are they to tell us what to do with our DuDus?" said one protestor. "Had it not been for their horny women lurking around Turkish resorts for the legendary Turkish candy stick, there would be no DuDuism in the first place" said another.

 

Enlightened columnists wrote about how this particular problem of Turkish Duduism had actually been created directly by foreign female tourists. It was argued that foreign men, especially the Western European kind, were simply too small and just couldn´t rock their womenfolk like the big-packaged Turkish DuDu boys did. One expert on the matter presented statistical evidence that Western Europe, followed by North America, were the largest producers & consumers of penis pumps & enlargement pills. Since no such sales were ever recorded on Turkish soil, the logic clearly followed that Turkish men must have no such needs in the meat department.

 

A professor added that the problem had historic roots as well. Apparently, the fame of Turkish sausage had already been spread across Europe during the Ottoman Era. The wise professor presented photographs of European women running toward the Ottoman army during the Siege of Vienna back in 1529. Nobody in the audience seemed to pick on the fact that modern photography was not invented until the 1820s. The logic followed that the only reason the Siege of Vienna by the Ottomans had failed was because the Ottoman army, terrified of being raped by these Austrian nymphs, had to retreat back. Had Viagra been invented back then, Vienna would be speaking fluent Turkish.

 

Further evidence was provided about how the Russian Empress Catherine II, known as Catherine the Great, was also fond of Turkish sucuk, and had made a personal visit to the young Sultan´s tent, which lead to the Treaty of Kucuk Kaynarca at the end of the Russo-Turco War. The name "Kucuk", meaning "Little", was misleading, as the sucuk the Empress had was obviously huge.

 

Fearing for the unity of the country, Turkish generals made a controversial group appearance on TV, wearing their white speedos and demanding from the government to un-ban white speedos immediately. In complete defiance of all democratic principles, a senior general curtly stated that, despite Erdogan´s new legislation, he would be wearing his white speedo on the beach with honour. This whole shenanigan about DuDuism was obviously another tactic of Western powers trying to carve up our motherland.

 

The generals told in extent about how the foreign powers were busy with their sinister plans trying to establish a homeland for DuDus in South Eastern Turkey, called DuDustan. This DuDustan would be placed right next to Kurdistan, and would serve as a base for terrorizing tourists in Turkey. They added that DuDu training camps had already been spotted in Northern Iraq, and that the army wouldn´t hesitate to act, if any of these DuDus slipped through the border. Regarding the newly formed organization of Mothers-Against-DuDuism, the wise general made it clear that the true place of a Turkish mother is in the kitchen cooking delicious meals for her son.

 

The Army and the pseudo-intellectuals were not the only ones showing love for the DuDus. There was now periodic violence breaking out on beaches and holiday resorts. DuDu loving tourists, who chose to stand by their DuDu lovers, were constantly engaged in catfights with the MADD mothers. Hair pulling and egg-throwing mania had become an epidemic. Videos of wicked-weasel-wearing DuDu girls rolling in dust with homely Turkish mothers wearing ankle-length skirts were popping up on YouTube every other day. Being veterans of domestic violence, the MADD mothers had the upper hand and usually kicked ass.

  

In the middle of all this turmoil, our hero felt helpless. He wondered if DuDu-Killer was also observing all this. Was she having fun? She was winning for now. But, she was going to get it real hard very soon. Just as our hero took another sip from his mocha and glimpsed at his morning paper, the main headline nearly choked him to death.

  

KONDA, a highly respected survey group in Turkey, had apparently held a poll among the younger Turks about "dirty-talking" in bed. A whopping 97% of the young men confessed that they regularly "dirty-talk" to their girls. A shocking 89% of the girls said that they loved being "dirty-talked". When asked about their favorite dirty-talk, almost all unanimously agreed that they preferred "Who is your DuDu?" to "Who is your Daddy?".

 

Our young hero felt his blood boil. This was too much. Not only was this Icelandic demon wrecking havoc among his own kind, but was also corrupting the innocent youth. He vowed that he would end it. He vowed that he would not stop until this witch was kicked into the depths of boiling geysers back in Iceland. In sheer anger, he picked his Icelandic phrase booklet, and studied more naughty phrases in Icelandic. He wanted to be ready, when he came face to face with the DuDu-Killer.

 

 

To be continued...

5.       geniuda
1070 posts
 07 Mar 2009 Sat 08:33 pm

This is what I call real creativeness!

 

AWESOME!! lol

6.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 12:53 pm

So glad this has a thread of it´s own! {#lang_emotions_alcoholics}

Am eagerly awaiting Part 4 ....4 of 100 I hope! lol

7.       libralady
5152 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 01:05 pm

May this dynamic creativity continue!!! {#lang_emotions_bigsmile}  What have you started boy? {#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

8.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 04:00 pm

I wonder if there are any FiFi´s amongst TC?

Maybe Cynicmystic himself is a FiFi?

9.       Trudy
7887 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 04:10 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

I wonder if there are any FiFi´s amongst TC?

Maybe Cynicmystic himself is a FiFi?

 

 Aren´t all the Turkish men on TC FiFi´s? lol If not, they wouldn´t be here but ´chasing´ tourists, wouldn´t they? lol lol

10.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 04:11 pm

 

Quoting Trudy

 

 

 Aren´t all the Turkish men on TC FiFi´s? lol If not, they wouldn´t be here but ´chasing´ tourists, wouldn´t they? lol lol

 

Well, there are DuDu´s I agree, but I am not sure about the number of FiFis yet

11.       sheena
308 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 04:38 pm

Quoting TheAenigma

I wonder if there are any FiFi´s amongst TC?

Maybe Cynicmystic himself is a FiFi?

{#lang_emotions_bigsmile} Im sure there are a few! hehehe

 

Hurry up with next episode Cynicmystic, this is the best read I´ve had for ages.{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

12.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 04:40 pm

 

Quoting sheena

Quoting TheAenigma

I wonder if there are any FiFi´s amongst TC?

Maybe Cynicmystic himself is a FiFi?

{#lang_emotions_bigsmile} Im sure there are a few! hehehe

 

Hurry up with next episode Cynicmystic, this is the best read I´ve had for ages.{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

 

 Do you think we should start inviting him to the Lounge sheena?

13.       sheena
308 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 04:44 pm

Quoting TheAenigma 

Do you think we should start inviting him to the Lounge sheena?

 

Now that sounds like a good idea{#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

Im in need of a little fun to relieve the Sunday afternoon boredom.

14.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 04:51 pm

 

Quoting sheena

Quoting TheAenigma 

Do you think we should start inviting him to the Lounge sheena?

 

Now that sounds like a good idea{#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

Im in need of a little fun to relieve the Sunday afternoon boredom.

 

It is done   Now where is that misogynist freaky talented young FiFi?

 

 http://www.turkishclass.com/turkish/forum/forumTitle_36503_217

15.       libralady
5152 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 07:46 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Do you think we should start inviting him to the Lounge sheena?

 

 Sounds like the sort of place he could build on his already growing harem {#lang_emotions_lol}

16.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 07:47 pm

 

Quoting libralady

 

 

 Sounds like the sort of place he could build on his already growing harem {#lang_emotions_lol}

 

 Precisely! lol

17.       SuiGeneris
3922 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 07:50 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Precisely! lol

 

was ist das? a mastercard advertisement?

 

18.       Melek74
1506 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 08:19 pm

 

Quoting SuiGeneris

 

 

was ist das? a mastercard advertisement?

 

 

Cell phone ... $250

Laptop ... $1,200

Vacation in Turkey ... $3,000

A young dudu with cobra moves ....priceless. For everything else there is MasterCard. {#lang_emotions_bigsmile} 



Edited (3/8/2009) by Melek74

19.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 08:23 pm

 

Quoting Melek74

 

 

Cell phone ... $250

Laptop ... $1,200

Vacation in Turkey ... $3,000

A young dudu with cobra moves ....priceless. For everything else there is MasterCard. {#lang_emotions_bigsmile} 

 

lol lol lol

20.       Trudy
7887 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 08:36 pm

 

Quoting Melek74

 

 

Cell phone ... $250

Laptop ... $1,200

Vacation in Turkey ... $3,000

A young dudu with cobra moves ....priceless. For everything else there is MasterCard. {#lang_emotions_bigsmile} 

 

 That expensive? My dudu doesn´t cost that much.... lol lol

21.       alameda
3499 posts
 08 Mar 2009 Sun 09:35 pm

 

Quoting Trudy

 

 

 That expensive? My dudu doesn´t cost that much.... lol lol

 

What is the saying....."you get what you pay for"............???

22.       femmeous
2642 posts
 09 Mar 2009 Mon 11:46 am

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

What is the saying....."you get what you pay for"............???

 

what is it? what do you pay for?

23.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 09 Mar 2009 Mon 01:07 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 

 

what is it? what do you pay for?

 

 Does this mean Alameda pays MORE for a good dudu?

Or..does it just mean that she HAS to pay more?



Edited (3/9/2009) by TheAenigma [I can´t write anymore...]

24.       lessluv
1052 posts
 09 Mar 2009 Mon 01:10 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Does this mean Alameda pays MORE for a good dudu?

Or..does it just mean that she HAS to pay more?

 

 so what exactly are the criteria for a good dudu

25.       portokal
2516 posts
 09 Mar 2009 Mon 01:19 pm

 

Quoting lessluv

 

 

 so what exactly are the criteria for a good dudu

 

A certain touch of finesse, the unwipable memory that his presence leaves on  innocent women souls.

26.       sheena
308 posts
 09 Mar 2009 Mon 03:31 pm

Quoting portokal

Quoting lessluv

 

 

 so what exactly are the criteria for a good dudu

 

A certain touch of finesse, the unwipable memory that his presence leaves on  innocent women souls.

Well that counts mine out then..... I´ve not met a dudu yet, with any of that, not even with cobra moves{#lang_emotions_cry}

 

Where is our next episode? I´m getting impatient.{#lang_emotions_head_bang}

27.       femmeous
2642 posts
 09 Mar 2009 Mon 04:43 pm

 

Quoting TheAenigma

 

 

 Does this mean Alameda pays MORE for a good dudu?

Or..does it just mean that she HAS to pay more?

 

{#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

28.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 09 Mar 2009 Mon 06:06 pm

Such a moving adventure.....who knew the plight of the dudu would be so emotional?  I only have one question...........Where is part 4!!! {#lang_emotions_rant}

29.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 03:24 am

test



Edited (3/12/2009) by cynicmystic
Edited (3/12/2009) by cynicmystic

30.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 03:39 am

Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 4

 

Despite his failure to track down the evil Ice witch, our hero felt somewhat better tonight. Just to get his mind off things, he had decided to reward himself with some evening desert. After four months spent in an endless, and seemingly fruitless witch hunt, our hero was feeling the urge to release that manly tension, which had been building up in his DuDu parts. It was time to let the cobra out of the sack. It was time to let it dance and spit its venom. It had been too long. The juice had to flow.

 

In the evening, he met with BigBang, one of her long-time sweetie pies that he had been keeping on the payroll for occasions just as this one. Having danced the cobra for so many cobra charmers in his circus career, our hero knew that it paid well to have a few handy numbers listed under the booty call category. He had always found it amazing that some women, regardless of how much he degraded them and hurt their feelings, would still care for a player. It was as if the more hurt he would cause, the more attached they would become. The harder he would yank the ponytail and yell "Who is your DuDu?", the louder they would moan "Uuuhh, you know whooo...uuuhh". BigBang was one of those women.

 

He had nicknamed her BigBang for her big assets and her amazing skills in hammering the nail just the right way. He recalled from years ago how she had blushed like a school girl getting ready for her first kiss, when he had told her about how he had decided to name her the Big Bang. But, such fond memories were in the past. He didn´t play word games anymore. There was no need to. After making her pay for the four mojitos he had at the hotel bar, while walking to the elevators, our hero could not stop his eyes from scanning the visible thong line on her silky beige dress. He admired her high pointy heels and delighted himself with the tick tack sounds she made on the marble floor. The high heel, as well as the thong & the bikini, were the greatest inventions of mankind - more precisely of men. It was certain that dommy high heels must have been invented by a foreign DuDu man, who had been sick of watching women walking around in flat-sole Roman sandals.

 

Had it been in his younger days, our hero would have made the first move in the elevator. He would have hit the stop button with a smirk on his face, and the cobra dance would have begun. But, the world had changed. There were more hidden cameras than people on the planet these days. He didn´t want to risk drawing unnecessary attention to himself. His mission was too critical to be jeopardized by thoughtless acts. As he placed the "Do Not Disturb" sign and locked the door, BigBang had already slipped out of her silk dress. She was staring at him intensely.

 

As swift as a Tsunami, our hero felt her burning hand slap him really hard across the face.

 

- You haven´t called once in 8 months, you scum... Not even a text message...you little...

 

Another sudden left hand tsunami was followed by two other right ones. Most Turkish men, under such dire circumstances, would not hold back. But, our hero knew better. He knew exactly what came after a lovers´ quarrel. Noticing the glow in her eyes, he smiled. It was time to let the cobra out.

 

After two hours of sliding and crawling on the bed, BigBang seemed ready to give birth to a new universe. Her breathing had changed, and her lips had become dry. Holding him tightly with both hands, she was looking deeply into his eyes. Moving her body, she was pulling him closer and closer with her feet. Noticing her flushed cheeks and the reddening skin on her chest, our hero decided that it was time to take his revenge for the tsunamis he had endured. It was time for the "Thousand Love Thrusts". Part of the "Tao of Loving", the oldest known sexual manual in existence, predating the Kama Sutra, this special art of stimulation was still recommended today by modern day sexologists. Its philosophy was simple. "Stimulate the Lotus, but do not harm the Petals."

He started counting silently in his mind, making sure that he counted the numbers in Icelandic.

 

Nine shallow thrusts just sticking the head of the cobra in the nest, and one full entry. Eight shallow inspections just through the door, and two full-fledged invasions. Seven shallow knocks on the door, and three ruthless burglaries. Six is-there-anybody-homes, and four home-runs.

 

By the time he had reached the shallow dive number two, BigBang was howling like a werewolf. One more tease, and nine deep drills, the cobra coiled in his new nest. No other words exchanged, they held each other thight and fell asleep.

 

Our hero did not feel at peace though. He felt like a caged animal. Lately, his dreams had been replaced by nightmares involving his futile chase after the DuDu-Killer. He tried to dream about his moment of glory to come, but all he could hear around him were sinister laughter coming from faceless nymphs. In desperation, he tried to scream, but his screams were drowned in dull silence. At that moment, he recognized the slowly emerging figure of the Old Man together with another face that he did not recognize. He was relieved to see the old bastard.

 - Aahhh Rookie, I see that you have been busy tonight. We are indeed impressed by your counting skills in Icelandic, and the way you watered that lotus. Hahaha....- It is so good to see you Master. But I feel ashamed. I have failed you so far.

- You haven´t failed anyone, rookie. Chill out! I had told you that the path was arduous and it would not be easy. I just wanted to stop by to say hello and let you know that you are on the right track. No DuDu that has ever pursued the witch like you have had lasted this long.

 All this time, while listening to his wise words, our hero could not stop staring at the strange character standing and grinning next to the old bastard. This character, less than one meter in height, was wearing a pair of tight, semi-transparent spandex pants displaying a really strange outgrowth extending from his loin to his ankles. It almost looked as if he had hidden something like a fire hose in his aerobics pants.

 - Oohhh, how rude of me to bypass the introductions. This is my friend, the Giant Dwarf. We have been lucid dreaming for years now. I thought he could guide you in your quest.

Our hero realized why the strange fellow was called the Giant Dwarf. Despite his small stature, the gods had obviously blessed him with a true python in the meat department. The Giant Dwarf broke the silence:

 - I respect your efforts Cobra, but I also feel that your energy is misdirected. You have been seeking answers in the wrong places. You have been asking the wrong questions. You won´t nail the witch by chasing her in your car from place to place. Her tactics are subtle, and your methods are mundane. You must track her not in your car, but with your mind.

- I have Giant. I have been doing all sorts of thinking all this time. It has been futile. She always manages to elude me.

- I am not talking about just thinking, Cobra. Her manner is based on stealth, and there is only one place on this world where she can be traced - the cyberworld. You must seek her out there and find out her msn. I would suggest investigating whether she has myspace or a facebook profile. Another venue that you must check at all costs to gather intelligence is a site called TLC.

- TLC? Never heard of that?

- It is a website disguised as a Turkish language site supposedly intended to help people learn Turkish. In reality, it is a DuDu joint. I am a bit surprised that you have never heard of it. All the younger generation DuDus hang there. You shall find there many DuDu-lovers, as well as broken heart DuDu-haters. Get in the forums and inquire secretly. Search their mouths. Do not disclose your real identity. Do not ever come out as a DuDu for the ice witch also lurkes there, and she will notice your presence. More importantly, refrain form the politics section. The politics section contains a virus member, who is neither a DuDu nor a DuDu-lover, but an attention-seeker. I cannot recall his nick. I think it starts with an "h"... Avoid him at all costs for the sake of your mission, and do not get the viral infection he loves to spread. Your real target is the Icelandic witch. Remember that.

Just as they had suddenly appeared, the old man and his companion, the Giant Dwarf, disappeared back into the darkness. In the silence of his dream, our hero felt a certain relief. He was grateful to the old bastard. He felt that someone had his back covered.

In the morning, the cyber search would begin.

To be continued...



Edited (3/12/2009) by cynicmystic

31.       lessluv
1052 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 04:03 am

{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

32.       catwoman
8933 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 04:17 am

 

Quoting lessluv

{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

 

did you like it? I thought it was very boring and almost nasty, I think our dudu has had too much porn in his life.. {#lang_emotions_puking}



Edited (3/12/2009) by catwoman

33.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 06:02 am

I noticed that you modified your original post, and changed "crappy" to "nasty".

How considerate of you...

Of course you will delete my post though so that there is no evidence pertaining to "crappiness"...

It is always a pleasure to observe the mods take excursions into crudity... 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

did you like it? I thought it was very boring and almost nasty, I think our dudu has had too much porn in his life.. {#lang_emotions_puking}

 

 



Edited (3/12/2009) by cynicmystic

34.       Trudy
7887 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 08:12 am

 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

did you like it? I thought it was very boring and almost nasty, I think our dudu has had too much porn in his life.. {#lang_emotions_puking}

 

 True! Snowwhite and Cinderella are more exciting!

35.       femmeous
2642 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:49 am

 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

did you like it? I thought it was very boring and almost nasty, I think our dudu has had too much porn in his life.. {#lang_emotions_puking}

 

 i once posted here that he could be a porn screen writer. {#lang_emotions_sick}

36.       lady in red
6947 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 12:18 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 

 

 i once posted here that he could be a porn screen writer. {#lang_emotions_sick}

 

 Do you think he knows Rocco Siffredi?  {#lang_emotions_unsure}

37.       Melek74
1506 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 02:04 pm

Has anybody warned the DuDu Killer? {#lang_emotions_scared}

38.       portokal
2516 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 03:47 pm

I am not keen to dive into erotical literature, yet I  still find this saga well written.

All the episodes differ, there are many insights, melting mythological elements, shamanism, well, yes, tantrism, political pamflet. As regarding the dudu subject, I find it little exagerating... but yeah, using all resources possible.

Although I believe that this path once taken, author should change direction towards romance, a mad, dramatic or tragic passion that would flame between the two hero characters (seekers of true love), othervise the whole story would turn into a mere erotic adventure.

Just an opinion.



Edited (3/12/2009) by portokal

39.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 03:53 pm

 

Quoting portokal

I am not keen to dive into erotical literature, yet I  still find this saga well written.

All the episodes differ, there are many insights, melting mythological elements, shamanism, well, yes, tantrism, political pamflet. As regarding the dudu subject, I find it little exagerating... but yeah, using all resources possible.

Although I believe that this path once taken, author should change direction towards romance, a mad, dramatic or tragic passion that would flame between the two hero characters (seekers of true love), othervise the whole story would turn into a mere erotic adventure.

Just an opinion.

 

 I agree with you portokal (with no capital ´P´ )

40.       femmeous
2642 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 03:54 pm

 

Quoting portokal

I am not keen to dive into erotical literature, yet I  still find this saga well written.

All the episodes differ, there are many insights, melting mythological elements, shamanism, well, yes, tantrism, political pamflet. As regarding the dudu subject, I find it little exagerating... but yeah, using all resources possible.

Although I believe that this path once taken, author should change direction towards romance, a mad, dramatic or tragic passion that would flame between the two hero characters (seekers of true love), othervise the whole story would turn into a mere erotic adventure.

Just an opinion.

 

 shhhhhh you ruinned everything. its his style. theres no room for love.

41.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 04:39 pm

Thanks for the new episode, cynic......but its a bit too steamy for me.....{#lang_emotions_angel}{#lang_emotions_shy}

42.       sheena
308 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 07:45 pm

cynic your a star!!!............a little too much information, but still enjoyable,

 

can´t wait for next episode{#lang_emotions_rolleyes}

43.       geniuda
1070 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 09:19 pm

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Adventures of a young DuDu - episode 4

 

- TLC? Never heard of that?

- It is a website disguised as a Turkish language site supposedly intended to help people learn Turkish.

To be continued...

 

 I think the next episode will be about his DuDu experiences in TLC? {#lang_emotions_scared} {#lang_emotions_unsure}

44.       catwoman
8933 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 10:36 pm

 

Quoting portokal

I am not keen to dive into erotical literature, yet I  still find this saga well written.

All the episodes differ, there are many insights, melting mythological elements, shamanism, well, yes, tantrism, political pamflet. As regarding the dudu subject, I find it little exagerating... but yeah, using all resources possible.

Although I believe that this path once taken, author should change direction towards romance, a mad, dramatic or tragic passion that would flame between the two hero characters (seekers of true love), othervise the whole story would turn into a mere erotic adventure.

Just an opinion.

 

On the contrary, I would definitely enjoy good erotic literature. But reading his story is to me like watching porn -- cheap story, disgusting behavior, perverted, primitive minded characters. Maybe he used mythological elements, and decorated his story with symbols or images from other things he knows, but the basic plot and personalities of his characters are 100% like porn actors. A psychopatic sex maniac and a masochistic sex bomb who loves to be degraded. {#lang_emotions_puking}{#lang_emotions_unsure}

45.       catwoman
8933 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:10 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 i once posted here that he could be a porn screen writer. {#lang_emotions_sick}

 

Quoting lady in red

Do you think he knows Rocco Siffredi?  {#lang_emotions_unsure}

 

maybe he is both..? {#lang_emotions_unsure}{#lang_emotions_scared}{#lang_emotions_lol}

 

46.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:30 pm

Haha

What makes you think it was written as erotica?

And what makes you think the author is the hero?

Plus, wait for the end, there are still more episodes to come...

You are making me laugh with your obsession about porn. Either you have never watched real porn, or you watched it wioth your eyes closed... 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

On the contrary, I would definitely enjoy good erotic literature. But reading his story is to me like watching porn -- cheap story, disgusting behavior, perverted, primitive minded characters. Maybe he used mythological elements, and decorated his story with symbols or images from other things he knows, but the basic plot and personalities of his characters are 100% like porn actors. A psychopatic sex maniac and a masochistic sex bomb who loves to be degraded. {#lang_emotions_puking}{#lang_emotions_unsure}

 

 

47.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:33 pm

Who is Rocco Siffredi? 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

maybe he is both..? {#lang_emotions_unsure}{#lang_emotions_scared}{#lang_emotions_lol}

 

 

 

48.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:44 pm

Just googled a Rocco...

I am not sure if this is the right Rocco though...

 

Is it? Can´t understand POlish other than Rocco appearently invaded Poland...

No wonder the POlish members of the TLC crew are fascinated by this Rocco fellow. Shame that I had never heard of him till you ladies brought it up.

 

http://torrenty.org/torrent/49081

 

ROCCO PODBIJA POLSKĘ

Tytuł oryg.: ROCCO INVADES POLAND

Występują: Rocco Siffredi, Elżbieta, Kasia, Justyna i in.
Producent: Rocco Siffredi Prod.. Reżyseria: Rocco Siffredi.


Screeny: http://tor.sultryserver.com/757/



Edited (3/12/2009) by cynicmystic
Edited (3/12/2009) by cynicmystic

49.       CANLI
5084 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:46 pm

Well, no, not that one

Rocco was/ is a member here

50.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:51 pm

I am really interested in this Rocco, too now...

He seems to be a fascinating fellow...  

Quoting tamikidakika

 

now that explains alot about daydreamer`s interest in Rocco{#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

 

 

 

51.       Melek74
1506 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:54 pm

 

Quoting cynicmystic

I am really interested in this Rocco, too now...

He seems to be a fascinating fellow...  

 

 

 

What you quoted is a very graphic description of a porn movie, just FYI.

52.       lady in red
6947 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:54 pm

 

Quoting tamikidakika

 

now that explains alot about daydreamer`s interest in Rocco{#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

 

 

 I thought he was obsessed with her??? - we shouldn´t talk about him - it might bring him back {#lang_emotions_scared}

53.       lady in red
6947 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:57 pm

 

Quoting Melek74

 

 

What you quoted is a very graphic description of a porn movie, just FYI.

 

 Rocco is a TC member who liked to have us believe he was this ´gentleman´ (see profile pics!!)



Edited (3/13/2009) by lady in red [spelling]

54.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:58 pm

Do you mean to say that the real Rocco, the invader of Poland, was actually a TLC member?

 

Quoting lady in red

 

 

 Rocco is a TC member who liked to have us believe he was this ´gentlemen´ (see profile pics!!)

 

 

55.       Melek74
1506 posts
 12 Mar 2009 Thu 11:59 pm

 

Quoting lady in red

 

 

 Rocco is a TC member who liked to have us believe he was this ´gentlemen´ (see profile pics!!)

 

Sounds like a real winner. I think I´ll pass, thanks. {#lang_emotions_wink} 

 

 

56.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:01 am

Well I am just trying to figure out who this Rocco is...

Apparently, it is me... or the main character in the episodes...

I wish I spoke polish so that I could read the description...

Quoting Melek74

 

 

What you quoted is a very graphic description of a porn movie, just FYI.

 

 

57.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:10 am

This must be the real Mc Coy...

 

http://www.turkishclass.com/user_Rocco%20Siffredi

 

Which Rocco am I being referred to?

The invader of Poland or the Rocco Il Sicilliano with 48 posts?

58.       catwoman
8933 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:10 am

pathetic...

 

lol{#lang_emotions_you_crazy}{#lang_emotions_lol}

59.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:12 am

No, seriously...

I would like to know...

I would rather be the Invader of Poland than be Rocco il Sicilliano... 

Quoting catwoman

pathetic...

 

lol{#lang_emotions_you_crazy}{#lang_emotions_lol}

 

 

60.       tamikidakika
1346 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:15 am

 

Quoting catwoman

pathetic...

 

lol{#lang_emotions_you_crazy}{#lang_emotions_lol}

 

...



Edited (3/13/2009) by tamikidakika [LIR]

61.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:22 am

 

Quoting tamikidakika

 

 

...

 

......

Thank you..



Edited (3/13/2009) by thehandsom

62.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:23 am

I was wondering when you would honour my dudu thread, old friend...

I was starting to think that you really didn´t like me.  

Quoting thehandsom

 

 

OHA...

Do you know what you are saying?

 

 

63.       catwoman
8933 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:24 am

 

Quoting tamikidakika

ok cw, I swear it`s not me who is next{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

 

well, for one you couldn´t even get a visa to go there. for two, you´re spending all your time defending your turkishness and googling how your nation is being victimized and how you can vent your hatred, but who cares about you anyway...



Edited (3/13/2009) by catwoman

64.       catwoman
8933 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:26 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

I was wondering when you would honour my dudu thread, old friend...

I was starting to think that you really didn´t like me.  

 

 

 

is tamiki your second account?

65.       tamikidakika
1346 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:30 am

 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

well, for one you couldn´t even get a visa to go there. for two, you´re spending all your time defending your turkishness and googling how your nation is being victimized and how you can vent your hatred, but who cares about you anyway...

I`m not into dobrowskis anyway{#lang_emotions_razz}

I will have to cross poland out of my invasion plans list.{#lang_emotions_bigsmile}



Edited (3/13/2009) by tamikidakika

66.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:31 am

 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

well, for one you couldn´t even get a visa to go there. for two, you´re spending all your time defending your turkishness and googling how your nation is being victimized and how you can vent your hatred, but who cares about you anyway...

 

He has never ever defended Turkishness..

A person who is able to talk about a nation like he did above can not defend anything yet Turkishness..

 

67.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:36 am

Please old friend, don´t politicize the thread...

 

The topic is either Rocco, the INvader of POland, or the DuDu hero. We are here to relax, not to discuss human rights in Turkey and the true nature of what constitutes Turkishness.

For those, we are grateful to have your posts in the politics section... 

Quoting thehandsom

 

 

He has never ever defended Turkishness..

A person who is able to talk about a nation like he did above can not defend anything yet Turkishness..

 

 

 

68.       portokal
2516 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:37 am

 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

On the contrary, I would definitely enjoy good erotic literature. But reading his story is to me like watching porn -- cheap story, disgusting behavior, perverted, primitive minded characters. Maybe he used mythological elements, and decorated his story with symbols or images from other things he knows, but the basic plot and personalities of his characters are 100% like porn actors. A psychopatic sex maniac and a masochistic sex bomb who loves to be degraded. {#lang_emotions_puking}{#lang_emotions_unsure}

 

I believe that enjoying or not erotic litrerature is , first of all, a matter of taste, then a matter of the literature´s quality.

But as a matter of fact I much more prefer reading a story about DuDu - which can have perverted characters for prude tastes, "psychopatic sex maniac and a masochistic sex bomb" still this does not make it pornography! - than seeing women which you, Catwoman have also seen , chasing their desperate loves, humbling themselves and trying to seduce their indifferent partners with pregnancy, looking for their dissapeared love on Mediterranean resorts and so on. Or victimizer ones. The latters are, unfortunately, lifestories, with living characters, Cynicmystic´s one is a fiction which may by intuition and knowledge come close and intersect  reality of these phenomena (don´t tell me these "porn" things cannot happen in sex tourism ). This is fiction inspired by reality, maybe by translations or attitudes here on TC, even. If we are disgusted by this, maybe we should consider what is our attitude in front of life. Because it is discrepancy between the attitudes in front of life and in front of a story. I doubt that someone would start to dream about a Dudu reading this story - which in fact has its start on the site´s stories about Dudus, introducing an equivalent female actor. If not suggesting a role model, than it is not "bad education" or message here. And I far more prefer these happenings in a story then to see in reality. Which is the reason of my "acceptance"of the plot.

69.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 12:56 am

 

Quoting tamikidakika

 

 

ok cw, I swear it`s not me who is next{#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

 

I think you should apologise and delete your posts Tami..

This is very very low.. Even for an average person.. What are you going to joke about next?

How Hitler f... up the jews?

70.       catwoman
8933 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 01:00 am

 

Quoting portokal

 

 

I believe that enjoying or not erotic litrerature is , first of all, a matter of taste, then a matter of the literature´s quality.

But as a matter of fact I much more prefer reading a story about DuDu - which can have perverted characters for prude tastes, "psychopatic sex maniac and a masochistic sex bomb" still this does not make it pornography! - than seeing women which you, Catwoman have also seen , chasing their desperate loves, humbling themselves and trying to seduce their indifferent partners with pregnancy, looking for their dissapeared love on Mediterranean resorts and so on. Or victimizer ones. The latters are, unfortunately, lifestories, with living characters, Cynicmystic´s one is a fiction which may by intuition and knowledge come close and intersect  reality of these phenomena (don´t tell me these "porn" things cannot happen in sex tourism ). This is fiction inspired by reality, maybe by translations or attitudes here on TC, even. If we are disgusted by this, maybe we should consider what is our attitude in front of life. Because it is discrepancy between the attitudes in front of life and in front of a story. I doubt that someone would start to dream about a Dudu reading this story - which in fact has its start on the site´s stories about Dudus, introducing an equivalent female actor. If not suggesting a role model, than it is not "bad education" or message here. And I far more prefer these happenings in a story then to see in reality. Which is the reason of my "acceptance"of the plot.

 

Thanks for your thoughtful post Portokal. I disagree with you on a lot of things that you wrote, but I appreciate your opinion.

71.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 01:44 am

lol

Rocco the Invader of Poland is definitely not the TLC Rocco, the latter seemed ahmm how to put that politely...a person enjoying the company of his own hand rather than a porn star that I assume the former Rocco is. No idea if he has invaded Poland, the names on his list do seem Polish though lol Unfortunately, our brave Turks will be disappointed, it seems Rocco is not Turkish but Italian. So Poland is still not within your range.

 

Tami dear, what did you mean that it was first Hitler then Rocco and next...? FYI it was not only Hitler, it was also Russia, Austria-Hungary, Prussia just to name a few. We were invaded on a regular basis. Yet nobody wanted to stay there for longer. Not really surprising. Can you imagine an invader could put up with 38mln of DDs, Catwomen, Melek74s, Adanas etc? Well, if you cannot then you should know that we´re the nice ones {#lang_emotions_angel}

72.       tamikidakika
1346 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 01:55 am

 

Quoting Daydreamer

Unfortunately, our brave Turks will be disappointed, it seems Rocco is not Turkish but Italian. So Poland is still not within your range.

 

 

 

I think that`s the reason why theH is whining.{#lang_emotions_bigsmile}

73.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 02:07 am

 

Quoting tamikidakika

 

 

the only person being low here is you, theH. why are you trying to hijack the thread with your silly accusations? I don`t think any Pole here is interested in you, so don`t waste your time.

 

come on man..what you said was very raw and you should not have written it in the first place.

it is nothing to do with you personally.. I would say the same thing for anybody..

You might be right about the poles. But I am interested in some of them..  

74.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 02:17 am

Are you intending to say you know some good Polish jokes????

 

Quoting thehandsom

 

 

come on man..what you said was very raw and you should not have written it in the first place.

it is nothing to do with you personally.. I would say the same thing for anybody..

You might be right about the poles. But I am interested in some of them..  

 

 

75.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 02:29 am

No worries... Rocco from Sicily has got nothing on us Turkish boys...

Tami can handle Catwoman; I will take care of Melek; and Handsom can give hickeys to Adana. We shall leave you, the dreamer, in peace...

In the mean time, our boys in their white speedos will be marching toward Poland for a third and final invasion. The gherkins are us...

 

Quoting Daydreamer

 

Tami dear, what did you mean that it was first Hitler then Rocco and next...? FYI it was not only Hitler, it was also Russia, Austria-Hungary, Prussia just to name a few. We were invaded on a regular basis. Yet nobody wanted to stay there for longer. Not really surprising. Can you imagine an invader could put up with 38mln of DDs, Catwomen, Melek74s, Adanas etc? Well, if you cannot then you should know that we´re the nice ones {#lang_emotions_angel}

 

 

76.       Melek74
1506 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 02:39 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

No worries... Rocco from Sicily has got nothing on us Turkish boys...

Tami can handle Catwoman; I will take care of Melek; and Handsom can give hickeys to Adana. We shall leave you, the dreamer, in peace...

In the mean time, our boys in their white speedos will be marching toward Poland for a third and final invasion. The gherkins are us...

 

 

 

 

 PM me the details! lol lol lol

77.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 02:59 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Are you intending to say you know some good Polish jokes????

 

 

 

 

Just for the record, my interest was nothing to do with polish jokes..

And I will also pass Adana..

Thank you..

78.       portokal
2516 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 03:31 am


Quoting catwoman



Thanks for your thoughtful post Portokal. I disagree with you on a lot of things that you wrote, but I appreciate your opinion.


Jesus and Mary!


It was not a testpaper on thoughtful opinions to appreciate.

Anyway, a national combat takes place in this thread, it´s aims are mystery to me.(Ze air, ze spring, ze blondes, ze brunets, ze open heartz, ze etc., ah la vie!)

For debating I use coffeterias.

And looks like for thoughtful posting I use TC{#lang_emotions_head_bang}





Edited (3/13/2009) by portokal
Edited (3/13/2009) by portokal

79.       catwoman
8933 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 03:33 am

 

Quoting thehandsom

And I will also pass Adana..

Thank you..

 

lol lol lol

 

80.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 03:39 am

Well, I bet Adana will not pass you though, hehe... being so handsom and everything...

Plus, share the Polish jokes, too. Let´s get the Polish brigade ganging upon us for the sake of prime degree amusement. I promise. If you post one joke, I will post the next. Dudu style. Haha Cmon h dont let your countrymen down in times of dire need... 

Quoting thehandsom

 

 

Just for the record, my interest was nothing to do with polish jokes..

And I will also pass Adana..

Thank you..

 

 



Edited (3/13/2009) by cynicmystic

81.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 03:59 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Well, I bet Adana will not pass you though, hehe... being so handsom and everything...

Plus, share the Polish jokes, too. Let´s get the Polish brigade ganging upon us for the sake of prime degree amusement. I promise. If you post one joke, I will post the next. Dudu style. Haha Cmon h dont let your countrymen down in times of dire need... 

 

 

 

ha ha

Adana may not pass but I will definetely pass her..But apart from her, I wont have any objection into your list really.

I really am not interested in polish jokes as I said..

And as usual, lol , I am quite intrested in their msns (DD has always been a magnet to me and lately Melek) and their mobiles etc..lol lol

Well you are my countrymen? come on..you have no idea what is going on in the country you seem to think you blong.. So I will pass on that too.. 

And damn..I broke my promise..



Edited (3/13/2009) by thehandsom

82.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 04:27 am

In the name of baby Jesus, and for the sake of Turkish brotherhood, here are their emails:

 

goatwoman@hotmale.com

angel74@gmail.com

adanakebab@becarefulshebites.com

 

Don`t say I didn`t hook you up...

Go ravish them tiger...

Quoting thehandsom

 

 

I am quite intrested in their msns (DD has always been a magnet to me and lately Melek) and their mobiles etc..lol lol

 

 

83.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 04:33 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

 

 

 

 

well..I have tried  tried to add them into my msn quickly..But  only biting one seems to be working (and I deleted it quickly. .)

And you failed the Turkishness test..phew!!

 



Edited (3/13/2009) by thehandsom
Edited (3/13/2009) by thehandsom

84.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 05:51 am

Of course... they didn´t work. I just wanted to see if you would be desperate enough to try...

 

You are the only one that ever managed to pass that test of yours pertaining to Turkishness 

But then, this thread isn´t about Turkishness...

It is about Rocco and the DuDu Cobra...

Since you happen to be neither, I suggest you crawl back to your little corner in the politics section

hehe

Quoting thehandsom

 

 

well..I have tried  tried to add them into my msn quickly..But  only biting one seems to be working (and I deleted it quickly. .)

And you failed the Turkishness test..phew!!

 

 

 



Edited (3/13/2009) by cynicmystic

85.       lady in red
6947 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 10:06 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Of course... they didn´t work. I just wanted to see if you would be desperate enough to try...

 

 

Are you saying those email addresses weren´t real??  How could anyone have known??  {#lang_emotions_unsure} - what a clever trick!!

86.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 11:20 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Are you intending to say you know some good Polish jokes????

 

 

 

 

There are no Polish jokes!!!{#lang_emotions_rant}

They´re all true lol

87.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 11:23 am

 

Quoting lady in red

 

 

Are you saying those email addresses weren´t real??  How could anyone have known??  {#lang_emotions_unsure} - what a clever trick!!

 

Blimey! How cunning of CniM! {#lang_emotions_scared} Let´s hope he changes his mind about invading any country...a brilliant mind like his is a serious threat {#lang_emotions_scared}

88.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 07:25 pm

Adventures of a Young DuDu - episode 5


 


Our hero rubbed a little more lotion on his legs and thighs, while making sure that there were no prying eyes on any of the balconies surrounding his terrace. Living on the top floor of an old, stone apartment building, he often took the liberty of exposing himself to the warm rays of the sun, wearing his favorite g-sting for maximum exposure. He truly loved his two-bedroom home, and the roof-top terrace that had come with it. Such a large and private space, which was something rather rare in Istanbul, allowed him the luxury of having beautiful plants, as well as a small veggie section, where he cultivated organic tomatoes & cucumbers for a healthier lifestyle.


 


Lately though, he had been having serious trouble with the urban wild life. A nasty group of street cats had found a way to hop onto his terrace from the adjacent roofs,and had claimed our hero´s personal haven as their new mating ground. While deliberately tipping over his flower pots, they would often hold swinger parties right in front of the glass sliding door of his living room, provoking our hero further. Aside from the obscenity of the whole scene, the leader of the pack, a nasty creature with one eye missing, had taken a certain interest in his tomato plants. While staring at our hero with its one remaining eye, this mini puma would dare to play golf with his tomatoes, hitting one tomato after another with its dirty little paws. A second menace, perhaps a lot more dangerous than the kitty gang, had been the chumpy seagulls that often singled out his terrace as their new dumping ground. Like precision bombs or missiles hitting targets straight in the bull´s eye, the avian menace would zero in on his favorite plants and drop load after load until the flowers were fully covered in white dookie doody.


 


The situation was so dire that, in addition to the War on DuDu-Killer, our hero had to engage himself in a second battle against the terror of these ruthless creatures. Whenever he would sunbath in his g-string, he would make sure that his sling shot would be handy and close-by, ready to strike whenever the opportunity would arise. He had already taken down three of the gulls, and had watched them go down like war planes in smoke. His biggest wish now was to get that nasty little puma, and hit him in the one remaining eye, blinding him forever. On one occasion though, he remembered how he had to retreat back to his living room in shame, and lock the sliding door in sheer terror. The daring little puma had showed up while he was sunbathing, and our hero had ducked down immediately under the chaise-longue, awaiting for a ripe moment to blind the little bastard. Unfortunately, as he had just finished rubbing himself in lotion prior to the arrival of the beast, his hands were still oily. He had missed that one good opportunity, when the sling shot had slipped straight out of his hand with the elastic rubber hitting him under the chin. While he was trying to reload, much to his surprise, the little puma had made a daring move and had jumped on his naked body, scratching his soft parts like a DuDu victim out for revenge. It was only by the grace of Baby Jesus that he had shaken free off the beast, and had run into the house.


 


Despite all these problems though, things on the social DuDu front had been very positive and promising. The white speedo crisis between the government and the army had finally been resolved in peace without a coup. The wise generals had realized that the country needed unity and not division, while the government, on the other hand, had come to the conclusion that, regardless of any legislation, no law could every dictate a Turk anything about Turkishness. If Turks wanted to wear their white speedos, then they would simply don them. In a memorable act of friendship and Turkish solidarity, both Erdongan and the wise general had posed for the Maxim magazine in their white speedos, sending the clear message that the days of the army interfering in politics and the days of the government suppressing people were things of the past. The march issue of Maxim became a collector´s edition over night. A new kind of future was on the horizon. People could feel the change in the air.


 


Following the controversial Maxim photo shoot, the Ministry of Economics had announced its intentions to restructure the Turkish economy in response to the global economic crisis. The minister, a young graduate of the world famous London School of Economics, had correctly pointed out that, among all the other industries and sectors plummeting down, the sex tourism had remained unaffected. The trend was crystal clear. While the banks declared bankruptcy, and the giant auto -makers laid off thousands of their work force, the sex tourism was thriving all over the world.


 


Being called "Romance Travelers" looking for "Love", rich women from all over the world were flocking to specific destinations in increasing numbers in search of the "Big Bamboo". While the Canadians & Americans favored the Caribbean, particularly the Dominican Republic and Jamaica, European hunters were, as usual, looking to score in Turkey, Italy and Spain. The situation was not different in Asia either. Places like Bali in Indonesia, and the world famous Phuket of Thailand were infested by Japanese women seeking romance in the arms of tanned South East Asian lover boys. And, those that were very daring almost exclusively went after the legendary "Mandingo" on the western coast of Africa. The minister said that it was about time the "Girthy Sucuk" took its honourable place next to the "Big Bamboo".


In support of his brilliant ideas, he read a poem written back in the 50s.


 


They had a Chinaman called Dick Hung Lo



He got married in Mexico


His wife divorce him pretty quick


She like bamboo but not chopstick


She like the big bamboo


I give my woman some sugar cane


Fruit of the trees I did explain


The only thing to my surprise


She like the flavor but not the size


She like the big bamboo


I give my woman some coconut


Some like it cold, some like it hot


The only thing she said to me


What good is the nuts without the tree


She liked the big bamboo


(-The Mighty Skipper, circa 1950s)


 


In joint partnership with the Ministry of Tourism, there would be an incentive program called the "Sponsor a DuDu", whereby the hotel sector would pro-actively train and hire local DuDus to ensure superior service to their guests. The program was hailed as a turning point. Young DuDus over the age of 18 would have to go through an audition, whereby only the best would be selected to represent the homeland. They would go through vigorous training in etiquette and languages, while learning how to dance properly without stepping on a girl´s feet. During the day time, they would serve drinks to their patrons in their speedos, and at night, they would grind with them on the dance floor. Since they would receive compensation & work benefits from the hotels & resorts, the good minister believed that the exploitation of "innocent romance seekers" would come to an end. The judging panel for the auditions would be composed of seasoned European DuDu experts, whom the minister intended to invite over from the UK, Germany and Holland.


 


Such good news lead to further economic stimulus in the mother land. The pop music sector, among its titan names, such as Tarkan and Kenan Dogulu, now boasted a new & promising boy-band, named the "Fappin DuDus", whose single "DuDuwiser" had already replaced Britney´s "Womanizer" on the charts. Furthermore, a new reality show, called the "DuDu Factor", in which nine middle-aged wives from different countries in Europe were put in the same house with nine charming DuDus, had hit the TV channels. It was an instant hit in Turkey, as well as in Europe and the Arab world.


 


While our hero observed his shiny Apollonian reflection on the glass sliding door, he took a deep drag from his joint, wondering whether the little puma would show up at all. He felt satisfied with the way the Icelandic witch´s plans were blowing in her face one after the other.


 


The government had collected all the FiFis off the streets to be detained & detoxed permanently at an undisclosed location in Eastern Turkey. The MADD mothers organization had been outlawed. DuDu was now becoming a socially acceptable term, and even a desirable lifestyle. There was also a new radio channel called "Rock Hard DuDus 103.1", which aired DuDu music and intellectual discussions about the lifestyle.


 


While he puffed away, our hero felt a sudden paranoia. Being so high and gay in his g-string, he felt somewhat vulnerable against the little puma. He decided that it was safer to be indoors than get ambushed by the kitty gang. He walked back into the apartment with the intent of checking that TLC site.


 


Things were good. Life was great. Our DuDu was happy.


 


To be continued...



Edited (3/13/2009) by cynicmystic
Edited (3/13/2009) by cynicmystic

89.       Melek74
1506 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 08:01 pm

lol lol lol

 

It´s official, they think I´m crazy at work, apparently laughing out loud to yourself is considered a somewhat unusual behavior.

 

Thanks Cynic for posting another one! {#lang_emotions_flowers}

90.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 08:05 pm

Well, I tried very very hard to ensure that this episode would not be raunchy.

{#lang_emotions_unsure} 

Quoting Melek74

lol lol lol

 

It´s official, they think I´m crazy at work, apparently laughing out loud to yourself is considered a somewhat unusual behavior.

 

Thanks Cynic for posting another one! {#lang_emotions_flowers}

 

 

91.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 08:10 pm

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Well, I tried very very hard to ensure that this episode would not be raunchy.

{#lang_emotions_unsure} 

 

 

 

 Well it is good to see you are back "on form"

92.       adana
416 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 08:52 pm

The gifted ,rebellious smooth operator and  flowing savage,who is he?

Is he waiting for civilization,or past it

and mastering it?

Is he some Southeasterner rais´d out -doors?

is he Canadian?

is he from Turkish country?Anatolian plateau,Istanbul bogazi,the Firat river?

The mountains?Turkish lokanta,restauran,bar?

bush-life?or sailor from the sea of cynism?

paraphrased Walt Whitman.....

you made me laugh cynic ....,thank you

 

93.       alameda
3499 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 11:35 pm

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Adventures of a Young DuDu - episode 5

 

 

................ a nasty creature with one eye missing, had taken a certain interest in his tomato plants. While staring at our hero with its one remaining eye, this mini puma would dare to play golf with his tomatoes, hitting one tomato after another with its dirty little paws. ..............

 

 

To be continued...

 Might I suggest trying green tiger tomatoes?  I tried them a few years ago in a community garden. When my neighbors ripe red tomatoes were being stolen by blue jays and squirrels, my green tigers went unmolested, as being green and striped they were not recognized.

 

94.       Melek74
1506 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 11:40 pm

I thought it was a work of fiction {#lang_emotions_unsure}

95.       femmeous
2642 posts
 13 Mar 2009 Fri 11:43 pm

 

Quoting Melek74

I thought it was a work of fiction {#lang_emotions_unsure}

 

 bosver lol

96.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 14 Mar 2009 Sat 02:10 am

That may be a good suggestion actually. Our hero could always pickle the green tomatoes, too.

Any suggestions as to how our hero could get rid of the mini puma? 

Quoting alameda

 

 Might I suggest trying green tiger tomatoes?  I tried them a few years ago in a community garden. When my neighbors ripe red tomatoes were being stolen by blue jays and squirrels, my green tigers went unmolested, as being green and striped they were not recognized.

 

 

 



Edited (3/14/2009) by cynicmystic

97.       portokal
2516 posts
 14 Mar 2009 Sat 02:35 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

That may be a good suggestion actually. Our hero could always pickle the green tomatoes, too.

Any suggestions as to how our hero could get rid of the mini puma? 

 

 

 

Maybe getting rid of the tomatoes( no matter the colour )could help...{#lang_emotions_scared}

({#lang_emotions_super_cool}-smoking-quitter emoticon)

98.       lessluv
1052 posts
 14 Mar 2009 Sat 06:47 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Any suggestions as to how our hero could get rid of the mini puma? 

 

 

 

 perhaps sending in the mini Obamatrons would help {#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

 

http://www.bucksright.com/obamatrons-now-terrorize-puma-group-on-wikipedia-53



Edited (3/14/2009) by lessluv [blinded by lack of sleep ]

99.       portokal
2516 posts
 14 Mar 2009 Sat 01:35 pm

 

Quoting lessluv

 

 

 perhaps sending in the mini Obamatrons would help {#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

 

http://www.bucksright.com/obamatrons-now-terrorize-puma-group-on-wikipedia-53

 

Cool!!! lol

100.       libralady
5152 posts
 14 Mar 2009 Sat 01:52 pm

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Adventures of a Young DuDu - episode 5

 

in Istanbul, allowed him the luxury of having beautiful plants, as well as a small veggie section, where he cultivated organic tomatoes & cucumbers for a healthier lifestyle.

 

 

 Uhmm I am impressed that our DuDu has such a healthy lifestyle {#lang_emotions_lol}  Even if he does smoke the odd joint now and then..........

101.       portokal
2516 posts
 14 Mar 2009 Sat 01:58 pm

 

Quoting libralady

Quoting cynicmystic

Adventures of a Young DuDu - episode 5

 

in Istanbul, allowed him the luxury of having beautiful plants, as well as a small veggie section, where he cultivated organic tomatoes & cucumbers for a healthier lifestyle.

 

 

 

 

 Uhmm I am impressed that our DuDu has such a healthy lifestyle {#lang_emotions_lol}  Even if he does smoke the odd joint now and then..........


Yet it smells like vegetable erotica to me... I mean tomatoes cucumbers, small pumas...

He could also have a garden with flowers - mimosa pudica, mirabilis jalapa, paradisae liliastrum.

102.       alameda
3499 posts
 15 Mar 2009 Sun 02:33 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

That may be a good suggestion actually. Our hero could always pickle the green tomatoes, too.

Any suggestions as to how our hero could get rid of the mini puma? 

 

 

 

Plant some catnip. The mini puma will be so intoxicated you can then take the catnip and puma and put them where ever you want. You will have to act fast as the effects are only lasting for around 10 minutes, but that should be more than enough.

 

An added benefit to having catnip around is you can make a nice infussion to drink and get a good night sleep.



Edited (3/15/2009) by alameda [add]
Edited (3/15/2009) by alameda [spelling]

103.       portokal
2516 posts
 15 Mar 2009 Sun 03:48 am

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

Plant some catnip.

An added benefit to having catnip around is you can make a nice infussion to drink and get a good night sleep.

 

Catnip-trip in a nap!{#lang_emotions_satisfied_nod}

104.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 15 Mar 2009 Sun 04:15 am

The only way to get rid of that evil puma is with a fire hose spraying high-pressured water...

Although I am not the "our hero" in the episodes, I can relate to him as I have personally been attacked and scratched by the cats of past girlfriends during rather inappropriate moments, and happen to deeply resent all cats...

I can´t stand them... They scare the hell out of me... 

Quoting alameda

 

 

Plant some catnip. The mini puma will be so intoxicated you can then take the catnip and puma and put them where ever you want. You will have to act fast as the effects are only lasting for around 10 minutes, but that should be more than enough.

 

An added benefit to having catnip around is you can make a nice infussion to drink and get a good night sleep.

 

 

105.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 16 Mar 2009 Mon 12:19 am

Episode 6 - Our Hero Discovers Something New...

 

Having decided that it would be safer to be indoors in his high-as-a-kite state, our hero made his way toward his living room. The sun was almost gone and it was always at this time of the day that the little puma would show its one-eyed face. Much to his annoyance, the sliding door seemed stuck. In pure frustration for being locked out half-naked while families were busy setting the tables on their balconies for supper, he tried to shake the disobedient door free, but it wouldn´t nudge. Although he had managed to shake it open just a little bit, the gap was not large enough to squeeze through. And, even if he could squeeze himself through, the idea of having an ajar door through which the nasty little puma could sneak in at night terrified him. After about five minutes of fruitless efforts, he came up with the ingenious idea of putting some sun tan lotion on the rails to make it slide smoother. He was very pleased with himself, when he finally managed to get back in, and lock that damn sliding door for good against the kitty invasion.

 

He was so happy and satisfied in the safety of his home that, with the curtains still open, he switched the music on and did a bit of belly dancing. Like all high minds, his soul craved for music. While flexing his torso rhythmically and doing the mathematical sign of infinity with his oily hips, our hero heard the door bell ring. Annoyed and somewhat paranoid in his flimsy outfit, he silently tip-toed towards the eye hole to see who the unexpected guests were.

 

To his relief, the visitors turned out to be nobody other than Esmeralda & Aisha, two Turkish ladyboys, living in the apartment just below his. He had always kept a distance with his kinky neighbors, but that one night, when he was coming back from a club late at night, he had come across the ladyboys getting dragged around on the ground by the hair like rag dolls by a group of three Turkish guys right in front of his building. Had this been a situation of a woman getting slapped around by a guy, he would have simply walked on. But, this was different. These were confused young souls trying to discover their true sexual identities, and they didn´t deserve to be treated like that. In one swift move, he had head-butted one of the guys straight on the nose, and had elbowed the other in the neck, while the third bastard had managed to stab him in his buttocks, before all three of them had disappeared into the darkness. After that incident, the ladyboys and our hero had become close friends. From time to time, they would stop by his apartment to have a joint, and would talk about philosophical matters, such as the meaning of life & what to do with the organic cucumbers he had been cultivating on his terrace. Although such a bond was certainly unusual by Turkish macho standards, our hero felt a certain comfort in the company of these kinky boys. He appreciated their sincerity.

 

Like the sliding door incident earlier, he had a brief struggle with the door lock, but he managed to open it. He reasoned that it must be due to the high quality of the British Columbian bud he had been puffing all day long. The girly boys smiled at him and complimented his red g-string. While Esmeralda sank into his couch to roll a blunt, Aisha, as usual, snuck away into his kitchen. She had always been fond of ravishing his fridge, helping herself to whatever it contained. Our hero headed to his bedroom to don his silk gown, and shortly, they were chilling in the living room, smoking the blunt that Esemrelda had rolled with her manicured fingers. Having been born in Holland, Esmeralda had acquired the good habits of the Dutch. She was good at rolling exceptionally tasty blunts, and was fond of mixing a bit of tobacco with the bud to give maryjane a crispy flavor. After a few deep drags, our hero was busy cracking one Polish joke after another, causing a mass outbreak of stomach spasms in the in the living room. The girly boys were on the floor huffing and begging for a moment of pause.

 

Despite the sarcasm and the foggy smoke in the air, the girls were quick to notice the emotional mess our hero happened to be in. They could smell it in his aura. They asked if there was something bothering him. In reluctance, he decided that it was safe to disclose his mission to the girls, and told them in extent about the old man and the noble path he had been on in his pursuit of the DuDu-Killer. He told them about the FiFis, and how he was planning to corner the witch on that site, called TLC. To his very shock, both girls seemed rather knowledgeable about this mysterious ice witch. They also turned out to be regular members of that TLC site, too. They hadn´t only heard about the DuDu-Killer, but they had actually met her in person. Our hero was intrigued. How could these two young boys in fishnets & high-heels know so much about her, while, despite all his efforts, he had been in the dark all these months?

 

Esmeralda was the first one to share some of the ladyboy wisdom. While she agreed that the ice witch was a regular attendant at TLC, and that she liked to hang in the translation section, according to Esmeralda, trying to lure the witch online would be futile. Both girls had met and knew the witch from the private naughty parties that they had been attending regularly. Our hero was all ears. Apparently, the ice witch utilized the site as a hunting ground to gather DuDu specimens for her private entertainment at these parties. She would pick them in the translation section, lure them in, and exploit them at her parties, which she liked to hold in her private dungeon in Taksim. What was strange about these parties was that the ice witch wasn´t the only one involved. She had formed a close network of DuDu victims on the site, who also happened to be regular attendants of these parties.

 

As the plot thickened, our hero listened with a very serious expression on his face. He was slowly understanding the sort of evil he was dealing with.

 

To be continued...



Edited (3/16/2009) by cynicmystic

106.       Melek74
1506 posts
 16 Mar 2009 Mon 01:04 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

 

He was so happy and satisfied in the safety of his home that, with the curtains still open, he switched the music on and did a bit of belly dancing. Like all high minds, his soul craved for music. While flexing his torso rhythmically and doing the mathematical sign of infinity with his oily hips, our hero heard the door bell ring. Annoyed and somewhat paranoid in his flimsy outfit, he silently tip-toed towards the eye hole to see who the unexpected guests were.

 

You shouldn´t leave the curtains open, I was actually filming you do the dance .... you didn´t mention you did the cobra dance moves too lol ... still greasy from the oil.

 

Sorry for posting it on youtube.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axUixg0RFaI

 

 

107.       libralady
5152 posts
 16 Mar 2009 Mon 09:46 pm

Well when I was spying spotted him he was still in his pj´s doing his snake hip dance {#lang_emotions_lol}

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KprqA07fMu0 



Edited (3/16/2009) by libralady [Happy lurve day for yesterday :):)]

108.       geniuda
1070 posts
 16 Mar 2009 Mon 11:18 pm

 

Quoting libralady

Well when I was spying spotted him he was still in his pj´s doing his snake hip dance {#lang_emotions_lol}

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KprqA07fMu0 

 

Phew! I least he had his pj´s on... maybe I should stop spying after hours! {#lang_emotions_shy} too bad he caught me video taping, I guess I made him a little embarrased that he decided to put his pj´s back on ..{#lang_emotions_rant}{#lang_emotions_razz}

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXyT52U0SMc&feature=related

 

 

109.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 16 Mar 2009 Mon 11:43 pm

Haha that looked just like our hero...

Quoting geniuda

 

 

Phew! I least he had his pj´s on... maybe I should stop spying after hours! {#lang_emotions_shy} too bad he caught me video taping, I guess I made him a little embarrased that he decided to put his pj´s back on ..{#lang_emotions_rant}{#lang_emotions_razz}

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXyT52U0SMc&feature=related

 

 

 

 

110.       catwoman
8933 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 12:00 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Haha that looked just like our hero...

 

{#lang_emotions_confused}{#lang_emotions_unsure}{#lang_emotions_scared}

 

no wonder he has so many mental issues...

111.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 12:15 am

I am sending you this song kitty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrUGQGkCxeA

And our hero is sending you this one... he just pmed me

http://www.wrzuta.pl/film/cEjaX6jb8q/

Quoting catwoman

 

 

{#lang_emotions_confused}{#lang_emotions_unsure}{#lang_emotions_scared}

 

no wonder he has so many mental issues...

 

 

112.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 12:36 am

Against all the antagomism our hero has received, he has decided to post this song, named "To My Polacy"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkv-jUM7qcs

 

enjoy...

113.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 12:39 am

Mleko, also, says "hi, hayyuduin?", especially to all the mods, that happen to be feline...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkiYl-QcWr8&feature=related

enjoy... our hero is in the mood for some music tonight...

114.       libralady
5152 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 12:51 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Mleko, also, says "hi, hayyuduin?", especially to all the mods, that happen to be feline...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkiYl-QcWr8&feature=related

enjoy... our hero is in the mood for some music tonight...

 

 You call that music??? {#lang_emotions_puking} {#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

115.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 01:25 am

well, no...

it is polish music for the right ears, if you know what I mean...  

Quoting libralady

 

 

 You call that music??? {#lang_emotions_puking} {#lang_emotions_lol_fast}

 

 

116.       catwoman
8933 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 02:42 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

well, no...

it is polish music for the right ears, if you know what I mean...

 

yeah.. I know what you mean. you´re spitting blood about not so nice things being said about Turks, but you get a kick out of your racism towards other nations. but I wouldn´t expect better from you.

117.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 03:37 am

Believe me kitty, racism is not really in my dictionary. I hate humans, in general, so much, that I am not allowed the luxury of splitting them into nationalities, genders, or races. I just happen to hate the very human nature that seems to pertain to all races and nationalities. So, you happen to be wrong once again about your poor assumptions as to who I am or what you should expect...

Quoting catwoman

 

 

yeah.. I know what you mean. you´re spitting blood about not so nice things being said about Turks, but you get a kick out of your racism towards other nations. but I wouldn´t expect better from you.

 

 

118.       catwoman
8933 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 03:45 am

what are you still doing here, cynic?! I was hoping you´d be gone by now! {#lang_emotions_you_smartass}

119.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 03:48 am

Well I am in my hello kitty pyjamas smoking my last spiff for the night. I had my twelve pints for the day, and am pushing the limits of typing half-blind with smoke in my eyes. I thought I would keep you company, as you love my attendence and exquisite manners in accordance with the board rules. 

 

Did you like the songs btw...

Quoting catwoman

what are you still doing here, cynic?! I was hoping you´d be gone by now! {#lang_emotions_you_smartass}

 

 



Edited (3/17/2009) by cynicmystic

120.       catwoman
8933 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 03:50 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Well I am in my hello kitty pyjamas smoking my last spiff for the night. I had my twelve pints for the day, and am pushing the limits of typing half-blind with smoke in my eyes. I thought I would keep you company, as you love my attendence and exquisite manners in accordance with the board rules.

 

lol lol lol lol

 

well... you should have warned us that you´re tripping and this is not your usual self... I´d be less harsh on you..

121.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 03:58 am

tripping...

I didnt say I am popping shrooms or licking on acid tabs... Just a usual joint.

Plus, my usual self is often on the high side. It is rare that I am ever sober...

Give the puff a try, you may like it, hehe...

Plus, I luuuuvvvvv it when you are harsh on me... I luuuvvvv to bring out the dommm in you...

 

Quoting catwoman

 

 

lol lol lol lol

 

well... you should have warned us that you´re tripping and this is not your usual self... I´d be less harsh on you..

 

 

122.       catwoman
8933 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 04:04 am

 

Quoting cynicmystic

tripping...

I didnt say I am popping shrooms or licking on acid tabs... Just a usual joint.

Plus, my usual self is often on the high side. It is rare that I am ever sober...

 

damn, I thought I found an explanation for you...

123.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 05:03 am

Do you really think you will ever figure me out kitty kat...

Cmon now... how many little pumas do you think I tamed in my young age...

You aren`t the first one that tried to scartch me with her dirty little paws...

Quoting catwoman

 

Quoting cynicmystic

tripping...

I didnt say I am popping shrooms or licking on acid tabs... Just a usual joint.

Plus, my usual self is often on the high side. It is rare that I am ever sober...

 

damn, I thought I found an explanation for you...

 

 

124.       catwoman
8933 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 05:16 am

Look tiger, you are confusing me with somebody else here. You missed the point that I don´t give a rat´s damn about you. I don´t know who you think you are, but it´s pretty amusing to see you all tangled up in your swollen ego issues. Boasting about using women, how vulgar you can get, or what a good con artist you are is not impressive at the age of 32 budd, it might have been at 17. Anyway.... enjoy the site, and careful about the rules.

125.       femmeous
2642 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 12:00 pm

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Do you really think you will ever figure me out kitty kat...

Cmon now... how many little pumas do you think I tamed in my young age...

You aren`t the first one that tried to scartch me with her dirty little paws...

 

 

 

 awwwww, this is something that some ladies can be proud of you. Satisfied nod

i think mltm alameda libra adana wish to be in the place of those little pumas Puking

126.       libralady
5152 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 12:48 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 

 

 awwwww, this is something that some ladies can be proud of you. Satisfied nod

i think mltm alameda libra adana wish to be in the place of those little pumas Puking

 

 You know we have a saying:

 

Assumptions are the mother of all cock ups and you are always making assumptions about me {#emotions_dlg.puking}  Perhaps I should start making assumptions about you?? {#emotions_dlg.unsure}

127.       femmeous
2642 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 12:53 pm

 

Quoting libralady

 

 

 You know we have a saying:

 

Assumptions are the mother of all cock ups and you are always making assumptions about me {#emotions_dlg.puking}  Perhaps I should start making assumptions about you?? {#emotions_dlg.unsure}

 no assupmtions at all

pure facts!

lets start talking truth.

 

offff. im pls, dont make assumptions about me. lol

 

128.       libralady
5152 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 01:26 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 

 no assupmtions at all

pure facts!

lets start talking truth.

 

offff. im pls, dont make assumptions about me. lol

 

 

 Perhaps in that case you should follow you own conviction {#emotions_dlg.unsure}

129.       femmeous
2642 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 01:35 pm

 

Quoting libralady

 

 

 Perhaps in that case you should follow you own conviction {#emotions_dlg.unsure}

 

 looks like you didnt know what to say. or had a problem to digest my post?

or maybe you are feeling difficult today? Satisfied nod

130.       libralady
5152 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 03:09 pm

 

Quoting femmeous

 

 

 looks like you didnt know what to say. or had a problem to digest my post?

or maybe you are feeling difficult today? Satisfied nod

 

 Nahhhhhh!  Just hot after my lunch time run {#emotions_dlg.super_cool}

131.       Rocco Siffredi
60 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 04:28 pm

 

Quoting Daydreamer

lol

Rocco the Invader of Poland is definitely not the TLC Rocco, the latter seemed ahmm how to put that politely...a person enjoying the company of his own hand rather than a porn star that I assume the former Rocco is. No idea if he has invaded Poland, the names on his list do seem Polish though lol Unfortunately, our brave Turks will be disappointed, it seems Rocco is not Turkish but Italian. So Poland is still not within your range.

 

Tami dear, what did you mean that it was first Hitler then Rocco and next...? FYI it was not only Hitler, it was also Russia, Austria-Hungary, Prussia just to name a few. We were invaded on a regular basis. Yet nobody wanted to stay there for longer. Not really surprising. Can you imagine an invader could put up with 38mln of DDs, Catwomen, Melek74s, Adanas etc? Well, if you cannot then you should know that we´re the nice ones {#lang_emotions_angel}

 

 hmm, it seems that you miss me. Cool

132.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 06:22 pm

Swollen ego issues?

I wonder who really have those issues on this forum...

I am glad you find the episodes amusing, as they are intended to be "amusing"...

Unfortunately, some members, and yourself included, have been taking them literally (perhaps in memory of past real life experiences that they may have had - I wouldn´t know.)

Either way kitty kat, I am trying to observe the rules. I just wish that you would do the same, and avoid abusing your mod position by selective deletes based on your personal whims & favorite body list...

After all, you have been displaying fine examples of double-standard lately... And, I find that more "amusing" & "ego" based than my little episodes...

Quoting catwoman

Look tiger, you are confusing me with somebody else here. You missed the point that I don´t give a rat´s damn about you. I don´t know who you think you are, but it´s pretty amusing to see you all tangled up in your swollen ego issues. Boasting about using women, how vulgar you can get, or what a good con artist you are is not impressive at the age of 32 budd, it might have been at 17. Anyway.... enjoy the site, and careful about the rules.

 

 

133.       femmeous
2642 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 06:26 pm

 lol i accuse her of the same thing lol

Quoting cynicmystic

Either way kitty kat, I am trying to observe the rules. I just wish that you would do the same, and avoid abusing your mod position by selective deletes based on your personal whims & favorite body list...

After all, you have been displaying fine examples of double-standard lately... And, I find that more "amusing" & "ego" based than my little episodes...

 

 

 

 

134.       alameda
3499 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 07:03 pm

 

Quoting cynicmystic

Believe me kitty, racism is not really in my dictionary. I hate humans, in general, so much, that I am not allowed the luxury of splitting them into nationalities, genders, or races. I just happen to hate the very human nature that seems to pertain to all races and nationalities. So, you happen to be wrong once again about your poor assumptions as to who I am or what you should expect...

 

 

 

That is so sad cynicmystic....but it´s worth while to consider the creation of art is also a part of human nature, as is altruism.  Yes, there is a lot of greed and selfishness, but doesn´t everyone knows that isn´t right?

 

If you really look at humanity, you will realize it is all about love. It´s about being lovable and loving. I´m not referring to simple carnal love, but more transcendental love. It´s the one thing we all want, it´s the one thing we all need. The issue is how we go about securing that love.

135.       cynicmystic
567 posts
 17 Mar 2009 Tue 09:09 pm

Yes, and you happen to be the numero uno in her buddy list...

 

Quoting femmeous

 lol i accuse her of the same thing lol

 

 

 

 

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