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Tr 2 En Attempt, Could Someone Please Take a Look?
(26 Messages in 3 pages - View all)
1 2 3
1.       Abla
3648 posts
 29 Sep 2011 Thu 09:11 am

İri kıyım barmen ikisini birden şöyle bir süzdü, abartılı bir edayla gözlerini duvardaki saatten yana devirip, son müşterilerini yaka paça dışarı atmasına ramak kaldığını ayan eden asabi bir bakışla tekrar onlara döndü. Doğrusu son birkaç saat içinde adamın hali tavrı muazzam bir değişime uğramıştı. Bir ara oldukça kibar bir barmen olduğu söylenebilirdi, özellikle ilk başlarda, hatta sonraki dört saat boyunca dahi genellikle nazikti. Ama ardından nezaketi gözle görülür biçimde ve süratle erimeye başlamıştı. Son yirmi dakikadır “nazik” hariç her türlü sıfatı kullanmak mümkün hakkında. (Elif Şafak, Araf)

The tall barman suddenly looked at them both, cast his eyes with an exaggerated gesture aside from the clock on the wall and with a nervous glance which made it clear that he was close to throwing the last customers out by force turned back to them. To be honest, during the last few hours the man’s behaviour had gone through a big change. For a while it could be said that he was a relatively sophisticated barman, especially in the beginning, and even for the last four hours he was usually polite. But finally his consideration began to meld in a manner and speed that was visible to eyes. In the last twenty minutes it was possible to use any other type of adjective about him except “polite”.



Edited (9/29/2011) by Abla

2.       scalpel
1472 posts
 29 Sep 2011 Thu 10:04 am

Please find my attempt below (any correction is welcomed) 

The tall (huge) barman suddenly looked (glanced) at them both (with disdain), cast(ed) his eyes with an exaggerated gesture aside from to the clock on the wall, and (then glanced back at them) with a nervous glance which made it clear that he was (now so) close to throwing the last customers out by force turned back to them. To be honest, during the last few hours the man’s behaviour had gone through a big change. For a while it could be said that he was (a gentleman / a refined barman) relatively sophisticated barman, especially in the beginning, and even for the last (first) four hours he was usually polite. But finally (then) his consideration (politeness)began to melt (away) in a manner and speed that was visible to eyes. In the last twenty minutes it was possible to use any other type of adjective about him except “polite”.

 

3.       Abla
3648 posts
 29 Sep 2011 Thu 08:33 pm

I borrowed this novel to read and enjoy but it´s so difficult language that what I am doing is far from reading and enjoying. I have to unlay the sentences brick by brick. But it must be useful in the end. Scalpel, thank you for your kind help. Good to see I wasn´t too much lost.

4.       tunci
7149 posts
 29 Sep 2011 Thu 08:41 pm

 

Quoting Abla

 

 

 is it my eyes or I keep seeing blank pages today ? Abla , could you try to post it again ? I think there is something wrong with sending posts to forum today..

 

5.       Aida krishan
92 posts
 29 Sep 2011 Thu 08:58 pm

......



Edited (9/30/2011) by Aida krishan [changed my mind]

6.       Abla
3648 posts
 01 Oct 2011 Sat 08:50 am

I´m not sure if all my posts are visible. My operator hates me. I guess they sold me this connection only to keep an eye on me through the computer screen. Most of the time it seems that I bought nothing.

In case my previous message was blank I try to remember what I said. First of all I thanked scalpel for volunteering. Probably I also told I am not looking for a perfect English translation, I am just trying to understand a text which is ultimately difficult for a learner in my level.

Here is another piece.

-------------------------------

“Yeterince özetlemedin mi? Beş saat oldu yahu. Hadi yürü, yaylan,” diye homurdandı kısa boylu olan. Adı Abed’di. İngilizcesi varla yok arasında pervasızca savrulan istikrarsız, koyu bir gırtlak aksanıyla maluldü. Kah sırra kadem basıp tamamen kaybolan, kah her heceden fırlayan bir tutarsız aksan.

“Hadi artık kapatacaklar burayı.” Gergin, kaçamak bakışlarla etrafı süzen Abed bir yandan arkadaşını dürtüklerken bir yandan da garsonla göz göze gelmemeye çalışsa da pek başarılı olamadı. Ayyaşın yanında ayık olmak kadar bezdirici bir şey olmadığı sonucuna varmıştı. Ne de olsa ayyaşların sabaha her birini unutacakları envai çeşit saçmalığı yapmaya hakkı vardı, halbuki ayıkların, dahil olmadıkları halde dişinda kalamadıkları bu maskaralığı ıstırapla seyretmekten başka çareleri yoktu.

”Did you summarize enough? It has been five hours. Let’s move,” mumbled the short one. His name was Abed. His English was invalid with an unstable, thick throat accent which was daringly hurled somewhere between existing and not existing. An accent, which sometimes vanished in thin air and disappeared completely, sometimes unlogically jumped out from every syllable.

“Let’s go, they are going to close this place now.” Abed  was studying the environment with a tense, elusive look. He tried to avoid meeting the waiter eye to eye from one side while pushing his friend from the other side, but couldn’t succeed in this very well. He came to the result that there was nothing as boring as being sober next to a drunkard. Whatever it was, until morning drunkards had the right to make up the type of nonsense that they would have forgotten every one, whereas the sober ones didn’t have any other chance but to look at this clowning with pain. Even though they were not in it they couldn’t stay out of it.

-----------------------------------

7.       Abla
3648 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 03:11 pm

I was wondering if it´s too bold to rise this up. (It has been for a while.)

8.       tunci
7149 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 03:52 pm

  

Sorry {#emotions_dlg.scared}if it has been ignored by TC folks ...How dare they forget your Attempt Abla

Neyse, Şaka bir yana, It seems quite successful translation to me. I can say 93 percent correct. There need small corrections only.. Considering the difficulty of the turkish text ,it is good job.

 

9.       tunci
7149 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 03:55 pm

 

Beş saat oldu yahu !

It has been five hours.

Yahu is like  For God´s sake !

it has been five hours , For God´s sake !

 

10.       tunci
7149 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 03:56 pm

 

Hadi yürü, yaylan ---> Come on, Off you go, get moving !

Let’s move

Your is correct too..

 

11.       tunci
7149 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 04:00 pm

 

malul olmak --->  the word "malul" arabic origin word and it means " disabled" but in modern turkish it is also used as "known "

 

His English was known with[as]  ---> İngilizcesi ............................bilinirdi

Ingilizcesi .........................bilinirdi..

 

12.       tunci
7149 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 04:06 pm

 

 Ne de olsa --> For this phrase, its better to use " Nevertheless "

 

13.       tunci
7149 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 04:10 pm

 

Nevertheless, drunkards had the right to make up all  types [sorts] of nonsense that they would have forgotten every one [each of them] in the morning .

14.       Abla
3648 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 08:27 pm

Thank you, tunci. I knew I could count on you.

15.       tunci
7149 posts
 10 Oct 2011 Mon 08:38 pm

 

Sorun değil, Abla.

16.       scalpel
1472 posts
 11 Oct 2011 Tue 04:36 am

 

Quoting tunci

 

malul olmak --->  the word "malul" arabic origin word and it means " disabled" but in modern turkish it is also used as "known "

 

His English was known with[as]  ---> İngilizcesi ............................bilinirdi

Ingilizcesi .........................bilinirdi..

 

 

Maybe you confuse malul olmak with malum olmak? 

17.       tunci
7149 posts
 11 Oct 2011 Tue 09:38 am

 

Malul originally [the correct usage is "disabled" ] but some people using it incorrectly as "known" .

I know what " malum " means , malum =  known [correct translation from arabic whereas malul is incorrect usage that is still being used by some people ]

examples for correct and incorrect usage of malul =

malulen emekli olmak = being retired because of disability. [getting retired early because of disability ]

hafıza-i beşer nisyan ile maluldur ---> people understand this saying as " the human memory is known as forgetful " ---> this is wrong but people knows it this way. that should be ;

" the human memory is disabled with forgetting [things] " [ in other words, the human memory is not perfect, its disables most of the times , it forget things easly]

 

 

 

18.       Abla
3648 posts
 13 Oct 2011 Thu 12:47 pm


Abed dişlerinin arasından nefesini içine çekti, gergin durumlarda adeti olduğu üzre çenesindeki  gamzeyi kaşıdı ve gamzeyi kaşımak yetmediğinde daima yaptığı üzre kıvırcık saçlarından bir tutam alıp çekiştirdi. Başını tuvalete doğru çevirdi ama bir kez daha, yerleştirildiği raftan sabit nazarlarla onları seyreden o delici, kızıl gözlere takıldı bakışları istemeye istemeye. Vaktiyle maviliklerde  süzülmüş hayat dolu bir saksağandan ziyade tüyler ürpertici bir oyuncağın donmuş, ruhsuz vakarıyla bakıyordu ölü kuş. İnsanların nasıl olup da içi doldurulmuş kuşları sergilemekten gurur  duyabildiğine akıl sır erdirememenin huzursuzluğuyla yeniden arkadaşına döndü Abed. Döndü ve bu sefer de dolmakalemiyle aynı peçetenin üzerine lekeler kondururken buldu onu.


Abed pulled his breath in through his teeth, scratched the dimple that he had in his claw which was his habit in tense situations, and like he always did when scratching the dimple wasn’t enough took a small amount of his curly hair and kept tugging it. He turned his head to the direction of the toilet but once more was attached to those piercing, red eyes which were staring at them from the organized shelf, as if he couldn’t stop longing for their looks all the time. The dead bird was watching with a toy’s frozen, lifeless dignity, whose abundant feather was made stand upright, the feather that once had belonged to a magpie which was full of life flowing in the blueness. Abed turned again to his friend feeling uneasiness of mind because he couldn’t achieve the mystery of how on earth people could feel pride of putting stuffed birds on display. He turned and found him this time sticking spots on the same napkin with a pen.



Edited (10/13/2011) by Abla

19.       MarioninTurkey
6124 posts
 13 Oct 2011 Thu 02:17 pm

 

Quoting Abla

çenesindeki  gamzeyi

 

 

Very good translation!

 

çene is a chin, not a paw (pençe or pati) so this is the dimple in his chin

20.       MarioninTurkey
6124 posts
 13 Oct 2011 Thu 02:18 pm

 

Quoting Abla

yerleştirildiği raftan

 

 suggest "from the shelf they had been put on"

21.       MarioninTurkey
6124 posts
 13 Oct 2011 Thu 02:19 pm

 

Quoting Abla

istemeye istemeye.

 

 

unwillingly

22.       Abla
3648 posts
 13 Oct 2011 Thu 04:08 pm

Quote:MarioninTurkey

unwillingly

 

Really? Where is the negation?

23.       MarioninTurkey
6124 posts
 13 Oct 2011 Thu 04:13 pm

 

Quoting Abla

 

Really? Where is the negation?

 

 

We need Sii or tunci or göküyüm or harpoon to give the proper grammar.
But hoplaya zıplaya ilerledi = skipped ahead. sallaya sallaya yürümek= walking with a sway from side to side. isteye isteye = willingly. So I read istemeye istemeye as unwillingly.
It does fit with the context (his eyes are drawn to the awful object, even though he doesn´t want to look at it), but I am happy to be corrected by a native speaker!!!!

24.       Abla
3648 posts
 13 Oct 2011 Thu 04:35 pm

I think I found it. You were right, MarioninTurkey. It is actually the same gerund as in frozen forms like diye or rasgele , but repeated with the same verb or another one it is productive. I mixed the -me- with infinitive marking.

25.       MarioninTurkey
6124 posts
 13 Oct 2011 Thu 04:42 pm

 

Quoting Abla

I think I found it. You were right, MarioninTurkey. It is actually the same gerund as in frozen forms like diye or rasgele , but repeated with the same verb or another one it is productive. I mixed the -me- with infinitive marking.

 

 Easily done -- I´d still like a native to confirm it, as these are not easy texts you are tackling!

26.       Abla
3648 posts
 15 Oct 2011 Sat 11:23 am

Thank you for your help, MarioninTurkey.



Edited (10/15/2011) by Abla
Edited (10/15/2011) by Abla

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