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The one and only Nasruddin Hoca........(smile)!
(14 Messages in 2 pages - View all)
[1] 2
1.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:14 pm

The Loan Request

Nasrudin struck up a conversation with a stranger.

At one point, he asked, “So how’s business?”

“Great,” the other replied.

“Then can I borrow ten dollars?”

“No. I don’t know you well enough to lend you money,”.

“That’s strange,” replied Nasrudin. “Where I used to live, people wouldn’t lend me money because they knew me; and now that I’ve moved here, people won’t lend me money because they don’t know me!“



Edited (3/29/2012) by jannah_male

2.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:21 pm

 

Man Demands Justice


One day, a man ran into Judge Nasrudin’s room and said, “I was just robbed at the border of this village! It must have been someone from here, and I demand justice! The robber took everything from me—my shoes, my pants, my shirt, my coat, my necklace, and even my socks…he took everything, I tell you! I demand justice.”

“Well now,” Nasrudin replied, “I see that you are still wearing you underwear—so the robber didn’t take that, did he?”

“No,” replied the man.

Nasrudin responded, “Then I am sure he was not from here, and thus I cannot investigate your case.”

“How can you be so sure?” the man asked.

“Because if he were from here, he would have taken your underwear as well. After all, we do things thoroughly around here!“



Edited (3/29/2012) by jannah_male

3.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:23 pm

 

Woman Demands Justice



A woman and man came into Judge Nasrudin’s room one day.

The woman complained, “I was just walking on the street the other day, when this man, whom I never met before, came up to me and kissed me! I demand justice!“

“I agree that you deserve justice,” Nasrudin said. “Therefore, I order that you kiss him and take your revenge.”



Edited (3/29/2012) by jannah_male

4.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:27 pm

Meal or Preaching?




The local religious leader invited Nasrudin over for dinner one night.

Nasrudin, not having eaten much that day, was famished when he got there, and eger to eat as soon as possible.

After two hours, however, the religious leader had yet to offer Nasrudin any food, and instead spoke nonstop about a variety of religious topics.

As Nasrudin grew more annoyed with each passing minute, he finally interrupted the man and said, “May I ask you something?”

“What?” the religious leader answered, eager to hear some religious question that would prompt him to continue talking.

“I was just wondering,” Nasrudin said, “did any of the people in your stories ever eat?”



Edited (3/29/2012) by jannah_male

5.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:29 pm

 

Are You Asleep?


Nasrudin was lying on his couch with his eyes closed.

His brother-in-law went up to him and asked, “Are you asleep?”

“Why do you ask?” Nasrudin replied.

“I was wondering if you could lend me three hundred dollars,” said the other.

“Oh,” answered Nasrudin, “sorry, I´m still asleep.’



Edited (3/29/2012) by jannah_male
Edited (3/29/2012) by jannah_male

6.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:36 pm

Center of the Earth

 

Friend: “Nasrudin, do you know where the center of the earth is?”

Nasrudin: “As a matter of fact, I know exactly where it is.”

“Where?”

“Directly under the right hoof of my donkey.”

“What! How can you be so sure?”

“Well—if you don’t believe me, you can measure it for yourself.”

7.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:46 pm

Nasrudin’s Shirt Falls

As Nasrudin and his wife sat in their yard one day, a strong gust of wind blew a shirt from their roof clothesline right next to the wife’s foot.

After seeing this happen, Nasrudin began offering thanks to God.

“Husband,” his wife asked, “why are you thanking God after having seen your shirt fall from the roof?”

Nasrudin replied, “I am thanking God that I was not in the shirt at the time it fell.”

8.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:47 pm

Nasrudin Preaches

Nasrudin was scheduled to give a religious speech one day to an all-male audience, but had no particular topic in mind.

He thought of one, and began preaching:

“Gentleman,” he said. “We must stop allowing our wives to wear make-up. It is inappropriate, indecent, impure, wicked, and by all means sinful. Any man who let’s his wife wear make-up should be ashamed of himself!“

“But Mullah,” said one of the men, “your wife always wears make-up!“

“Yes, that’s true,” Nasrudin remarked. “And it looks great on her, doesn’t it?”

9.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 05:57 pm

Pricing the Conqueror

 

One day, the town’s new conqueror asked Nasrudin, “If I were a slave, how much would I cost?”

“Five hundred dollars,” Nasrudin responded.

“What!“ the conqueror shouted in great anger. “Just the clothes I’m wearing right now are worth five hundred dollars!“

“Yes,” replied Nasrudin, “I factored the clothes into my price.”

10.       jannah_male
19 posts
 29 Mar 2012 Thu 06:00 pm

Nasrudin Eats Dates

 

A man noticed Nasrudin eating dates with their seeds.

“Why are you eating the seeds“ the man asked.

“Why not?,” explained Nasrudin, “didn´t the merchant who sold these to me include the weight of the seeds?”

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