I can sympathize. You're not allowed any male friends at all and you'd better be where you say you are or else. Has he got other people watching over you for him yet?
I hate to tell you this but, he is not going to change.
Some women appreciate that kind of control others learn to deal with it with not too much stress on the relationship. If you can do it, more power to you. But if you don't think you can, my advice, (my opinion, no offence to anyone) get out while you can and hope he accepts the breakup peacefully.
Just don't ever think it'll get better or he'll lighten up. It won't happen.

Sorry again Melek, but the only thing I disagree with Evilhermit about is whether he will change or not. He'll change alright and it will be for the worse!

i agree it will only get worse. how long have you been with him? so many girls on here seem to think its a compliment that their turkish boyfriend is jealous, when most of the time they just want to control you , most of the time they need you , not want you.

Hello there Melek. Based on experience, have sincere conversations about it.

i would LOVE it if all the girls who are writing about their boyfriends would say how long they have been together

Hi

Another note on the not-trusting issue. It's not always a matter of not trusting YOU. When i told my boyfriend (we are officially together for 6 months now,but we've been deeply in love for almost 2 years,but not wanting to call an internet-relationship a real relationship till we'd have seen eachother.which happened 6 months ago.the reality was even better than the dream!he's simply gorgeous!)
Anyways. I told my boyfriend i planned to go out with my girls at night to a club outside my city. He didnt approve. At least, he told me i could go if i wanted to,but when i live with him in Izmir, he will not let me go out at the streets at night without him. He said there even wasn't discussion about it, because he didnt want his girl at night alone in a club full of strange guys, on the way home in the dark with creepy figures. I asked him if it was because he didnt trust me. But he said: i trust YOU, but i definately DONT trust all the cheeky creepy men you could possibly meet on the street.

And i think he's right. Im not saying that this counts for every guy ofcourse, but i know Kadir is sincere about this.

Of course the reality of this is that you would not be alone if you were with your friends and if you get a taxi home you won't be on the street with cheeky creepy men. Its not that different anywhere else in the world, You go out with your friends, you go home in a taxi!

The cheeky creepy men, sound just the same idea of dogs, wolves and drug crazed bad people. See my post about being 'looked after' !

Well i live in Holland so.. we basically BIKE everywhere
Which is actually pretty scary, but taxis cost a fortune here. I live 15 minutes by bike from outgoing centre, i would've to pay 20 euros to take a taxi there and 20 to go back! That's the money i wanna spend on drinks and entry-price!

Selam Melek/Angel:


The replies you have had are awesome and so true. Lyndies is not only an opinion/replies she is experienced/educated in Psychology and this kind of behavior and more. I do not give up the hope that things could be better he needs counseling or something as Lyndie said it will get worst and this kind of behavior for whatever reason being
1)He is insecure with himself
2)A role model in his life was as such
3) or many other reasons but it is wrong and only put's a strain on your relationship which can be hard anyway's at times without adding to it with ridiculous rules as if you are a child. Not to mention this can be a mental strain on you and change who you are within after a long period of time or not. My friends man of 25 years 7 kids later is this way but in a higher degree as after the years of whatever his issues were to make him so insecure went untreated not acknowledged blah blah blah who knows, he is very ill in the head and she is now sick as she had a heart attack 2 months ago at 45 and recovering but he works and for now she can not. He doesn't allow her to have her cell phone/any phone and has disabled the/her car so she can not go anywhere even to see her elderly mother at her convalescent home. It has always been this way but it just get's worst. OK now my friend Kathy knows how to enable the car and(fix the wire he has un plugged) if she wants walk to the store and use the pay phone. Her mom is to far for her to manipulate his rules in that manner. He is a complete nightmare. he hates me although I stay away as his ABUSE OF HER by controlling her makes me sick. She usually comes to my house when we hang out which is rare. she is amazing as I could not live that way I would rather be alone and homeless. Of course there is so much more but I do not want to fill up 20 pages with one reply. Plus I think you understand and hopefully will work this out and hopefully you can work it out together, he needs to do something before it is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy out of control. You know 'compromise,equally'as you said in this post:

and also I see that his family might not like it, but my family are not going like me to change either!!i think the best way to do is compromise,equally!

or another famous POST/QUOTE

'yeah I see that and I have no problem with it, but he should do the same also, if we are equal he should!the way I see it if he doesn't want me to do something he shouldn't do it either!'

Sweetie you deserve to be happy as we all do, and it may be tolerable now it will escalate and become unbearable or destructive to your inner soul and sometimes that damage is un-repairable don't lose yourself your life, quality life that is.See if he wants to work on it as a couple anything is possible with the mutual respect and effort of 2 loving people and a little therapy never hurts anyone for that matter. Lyndie may even know of where you and he should start if he is willing to. I wish you the best of luck and hope you 2 can get past this now as a couple.

Good Luck Angel.

One more comment of the night club issues and men and sheltering from boys per' se well boy's will be boy's and I don't go to bars or night clubs but boy's hit on me all the time weather I am grocery shopping,driving in the car walking to the mail box where ever if they can and want they will be the boy's that they are. Some more aggressive than others but it is there way,as they are boy's and your guy knows first hand how some guys can be and with his issues it drives him to act in such a way as he does. It should not go un noticed this behavior can possibly make him sick too and you miserable. Listen to your heart and your quotes and do what is best for you and him to in the long run anyway's.

Peace & Love & Happiness
to you both

Tsarevna Stacia
Kelley



Tr-Eng
melek
melek gibi 1. angelic, sweet and good-hearted.
2. angelic-looking.






WORRYING DOES NOT EMPTY TOMORROW OF IT'S TROUBLES IT EMPTIES TODAY OF IT'S STRENGTH
WWW.MARYENGELBRETT.COM

i would LOVE it if all the girls who are writing about their boyfriends would say how long they have been together


Kirsty if it s real Love, it will continue forever. If you loved, you would understand these friends. all turks rent (arent ) same. WE are all turk but we have different souls.

in regards to the title of the thread... "use it to ur advantage"... hehe