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Interent Porn ?????
(62 Messages in 7 pages - View all)
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1.       irashay
81 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 08:38 am

I recently came home to find all my computer files were deleted, e.g search history, recent websites. Being a bit of a computer nerd I searched through my computer to find when it was deleted and what was previously veiwed before being cleared.
I found searches for porn and all things discusting. My husbands friend and him thought it was interesting to look at women puuting large objects in places they shouldnt.
I confronted him and asked whats his problem looking at dirty things like that.

I let it slip and now am Im thinking should I be worried???

2.       mltm
3690 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 11:30 am

Let´s look at it the positive way. Now, you know your husband a little bit better.
I think it´s not worth worrying a lot. I don´t think you can ban an adult to do something either. The only thing you can do is to show that you are not happy with it, and later in a friendly way you can ask him more about it, like why he did it.
And for the future, I hope you won´t need to discover more to know more about him!

3.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 02:26 pm

Quoting mltm:

Let´s look at it the positive way. Now, you know your husband a little bit better.


Meltem,
I love your ´positive´ approach to this issue.. lol
I think as a woman, last thing you want to do is going on and on about this issue and lecturing him about the potential danger of watching porn (and eventually breaking up that satifying marriage)..


4.       mltm
3690 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 03:52 pm

Quote:


I think as a woman, last thing you want to do is going on and on about this issue and lecturing him about the potential danger of watching porn (and eventually breaking up that satifying marriage)..



It´s not a pleasent thing to discover, but personally if I know this person enough to be sure that he is not a pervert, I wouldn´t mind and would ask him not to try to cover it. I´d tell him if you want to watch, just watch it but don´t try to hide it. Maybe, this way it would be less attractive to him later.

5.       karekin04
565 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 05:11 pm

irishay, I would have to say that if it was a few sick things that him and a friend were having a laugh at that is one thing, but if you suspect that it is more then that you should for sure keep an eye out. Internet porn has become the fastest growing addiction in men, its the "crack" of the internet.

It tends to ruin families and lives of the men who can´t help themselves. If you become aware that its not just occasional and more of a past time, then you would worry.

6.       catwoman
8933 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 06:26 pm

I completely agree with Karekin. I think this is a bad sign.. Maybe you don´t want to "lecture your husband" just yet, but if I was you, I would find out more about pornography, what kind of stuff is out there that your husband may be watching... and ask yourself, are you really OK with that? Husband watching porn has a very negative effect on most women and on the relationship overall. If you are not ok with him doing it, I think you should not compromise. If this issue becomes very serious, you could seek couple´s counseling.

7.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 06:59 pm

Quoting catwoman:

I completely agree with Karekin. I think this is a bad sign.. Maybe you don´t want to "lecture your husband" just yet, but if I was you, I would find out more about pornography, what kind of stuff is out there that your husband may be watching... and ask yourself, are you really OK with that? Husband watching porn has a very negative effect on most women and on the relationship overall. If you are not ok with him doing it, I think you should not compromise. If this issue becomes very serious, you could seek couple´s counseling.


well..
Catwoman, i can see what will happen to you in the future ..
You will get married/(or living together or wha(t)ever) and then one day, you will discover hidden files in your partner´s computer..and then you will start ´LECTURING HIM´ with everything you got about phornography and then he will either say ´yes maam´ ´I wont do it again and do it later on´ or you will finish your relation..
your choice really!!
lol lol

8.       catwoman
8933 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 07:06 pm

Quoting thehandsom:

well..
Catwoman, i can see what will happen to you in the future ..
You will get married/(or living together or wha(t)ever) and then one day, you will discover hidden files in your partner´s computer..and then you will start ´LECTURING HIM´ with everything you got about phornography and then he will either say ´yes maam´ ´I wont do it again and do it later on´ or you will finish your relation..
your choice really!!
lol lol


How about this: if I find out that my partner/husband is viewing pornography, it is of course a very serious issue, both because of the nature of the activity itself and because of deception. I will simply tell him my issues about it and what the choices are: go away or work your ass off to fix what you broke. No need to lecture him, he should make the effort to educate himself.

9.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 07:12 pm

Quoting catwoman:

Quoting thehandsom:

well..
Catwoman, i can see what will happen to you in the future ..
You will get married/(or living together or wha(t)ever) and then one day, you will discover hidden files in your partner´s computer..and then you will start ´LECTURING HIM´ with everything you got about phornography and then he will either say ´yes maam´ ´I wont do it again and do it later on´ or you will finish your relation..
your choice really!!
lol lol


How about this: if I find out that my partner/husband is viewing pornography, it is of course a very serious issue, both because of the nature of the activity itself and because of deception. I will simply tell him my issues about it and what the choices are: go away or work your ass off to fix what you broke. No need to lecture him, he should make the effort to educate himself.


Your approach to this ´simple issue´ is ´not´ very positive and constructive..
I fear that with your approach, you will become a ´partnerless´ girl catwoman.
Meltem´s approach was much better:
Let´s look at it the positive way. Now, you know your husband a little bit better
lol

10.       catwoman
8933 posts
 27 Jul 2008 Sun 07:20 pm

Quoting thehandsom:

Your approach to this ´simple issue´ is ´not´ very positive and constructive..
I fear that with your approach, you will become a ´partnerless´ girl catwoman.
Meltem´s approach was much better:
Let´s look at it the positive way. Now, you know your husband a little bit better
lol


Well.... it is true that it is hard to be a person who demands fairness in a world where it is institutionalized that men can exploit women freely. I may very well end up partnerless, but I assure you I won´t spend two nights crying about it! There is about 1,000 other things to enjoy in life other besides a partner.

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