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Living - working in Turkey

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A Turkish husband
(680 Messages in 68 pages - View all)
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640.       beautifullies28
156 posts
 29 Jul 2013 Mon 05:27 pm

I was just stating what he told me he and I quoted him "women just want money and material things." I dont agree with him. And in the USA women are what the men here want. We do what the American men expect. They want easy, materialistic, dumb bimbos so.......that is how we act. Well not we as in me.

But the boyfriend, his wife cheated on him for a richer man who bought her a lot of things. And his mother does not bother with much of anything unless it benefits her with money. SHe divorced her husband (his father) for a richer man. So he hasnt had very good expirience.....

Yes culturally its different. But unless an actual hooker most American women won´t sleep with someone for a coffee and a donut. Also alot of American women are ignorant to false promises of love and riches. Very ignorant.

641.       Kelowna
375 posts
 29 Jul 2013 Mon 06:15 pm

 

Quoting beautifullies28

I was just stating what he told me he and I quoted him "women just want money and material things." I dont agree with him. And in the USA women are what the men here want. We do what the American men expect. They want easy, materialistic, dumb bimbos so.......that is how we act. Well not we as in me.

But the boyfriend, his wife cheated on him for a richer man who bought her a lot of things. And his mother does not bother with much of anything unless it benefits her with money. SHe divorced her husband (his father) for a richer man. So he hasnt had very good expirience.....

Yes culturally its different. But unless an actual hooker most American women won´t sleep with someone for a coffee and a donut. Also alot of American women are ignorant to false promises of love and riches. Very ignorant.

 

have to disagree with you

I think most know how to be self sufficent and know they will most likely be working most of their lives to support what the family wants. Only a few will think they will marry well off enough to not have to work. 

As for the rest of the garbage you wrote your boyfriend has had a failed marriage and a failed family marriage too?  I would say he is looking for a foreign girl so he can get out of the country as he has no respect in the country he lives in.

 

Nadya. liked this message
642.       beautifullies28
156 posts
 29 Jul 2013 Mon 06:18 pm

Actually doesn´t want to come here at all. It became a big argument. 

643.       ikicihan
1127 posts
 30 Jul 2013 Tue 02:38 am

Once i heard a group of turkish people talking about marriage. They were currently in USA. One of them said i am going to marry with an american girl soon. I said good, but why do you marry with an american, why not a turkish girl. He said because i will get permanent resident then. I asked but does the girl know about your intention and still wants to marry you. He said: no, she doesnt know. And I left the conversation but in my mind i thought what a disgusting relationship this is...

644.       gokuyum
5050 posts
 30 Jul 2013 Tue 02:47 am

I like disgusting relationships. So much fun

645.       ikicihan
1127 posts
 30 Jul 2013 Tue 04:27 am

 

Quoting gokuyum

I like disgusting relationships. So much fun

 

that aint no joke.

646.       Kelowna
375 posts
 30 Jul 2013 Tue 04:48 pm

 

Quoting ikicihan

 

 

that aint no joke.

 

I agree with you this ain´t no joke, however it is not only Turkish men that do this. But coming back to this forum there are many that will do this even if it take 5 years. From my understanding the conditions are hard in Turkey for young men and to find a way to improve ones life is a must. Turkish girls expect you to have a career and a home before marriage not to mention the gifts needed to get her attention. She will want all the latest appliance etc... too because she knows once married you attention will be work and the few affairs you have along the way. Long work hours little pay, most woman are stay at home wives who accept marriage as a way to be looked after because jobs are even more scarce for them unless they are teachers etc...  Family  and career comes first and wives come second. Also there is a stigma to have a foreign wife. Even if they live in Turkey they are treated by their fellow citizens as more successful. Most of the internet romances - the guys will say oh I don´t want to leave Turkey but in the end they will say I want you to be happy so we can move where you want knowing that it will be difficult for a foreign girl living there for so many reason.They also have to get you hook line and sinker to get that visa meaning marriage.

Will they come to visit you for a holiday - probably not unless they have done their required army time and can show that they will return by having enough money in the bank. If they can do this most likely they are not going to internet hunt for a wife. So for now most of these romances are secondary to their real lives and just take a little time. It is like watching money grow in the stock market, sometimes you hit a jackpot sometimes you don´t. Also their families will support them in this triumph because they know if their son is successful in doing this they will benefit too. If not from extra money they will gain a little oohhhhhhh and ahhhhhhhs in the neighborhood.

I guess the best way to have romance with a international traveller and the safest is to find a person who can already stay in your country and is doing so at the moment. This way you have a better chance to learn about the real person and their motives. Just remember that  many marriages end in divorce. Even the local guy/girl next door type.



Edited (7/30/2013) by Kelowna
Edited (7/30/2013) by Kelowna

647.       gokuyum
5050 posts
 30 Jul 2013 Tue 05:43 pm

I want a village girl to marry. I cant deal with city girls. Many of them are so stupid but they dont even know it. At least village girls are modest 

648.       Kelowna
375 posts
 30 Jul 2013 Tue 06:08 pm

 

Quoting gokuyum

I want a village girl to marry. I cant deal with city girls. Many of them are so stupid but they dont even know it. At least village girls are modest 

Does modest mean she is stupid and just doesn´t know it? Here is an article about the lack of girls getting education in villages. But hey you are a teacher I am sure you can teach here how to read and write. But than you will probaly have to marry a 14 year old because most girls after that age won´t be single. Good Luck

 

Educating Girls, One Village at a Time

Promoting girls’ school enrollment in Turkey

01 July 2011

Also in this article: ‘Hey Girls, Let’s Go to School!’

The Girls Education Campaign (HKO)
By Dr. Nur Otaran and Fatma Özdemir Uluç

Dr. Nur Otaran is a researcher and consultant with UNICEF Turkey on education for girls and Fatma Özdemir Uluç is an education officer with UNICEF Turkey.

Since 1997, all children in Turkey are required to complete eight years of free primary education. Despite these laws, Turkey has experienced gender disparity in education. In 2003, Turkey’s branch of the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) and Turkey’s Ministry of National Education (MONE) established the Girls’ Education Campaign (HKO), which ran until 2010.[1] HKO addressed the main obstacles to school attendance for girls in Turkey: a lack of schools, gender discrimination, low expectations from education, low quality of education and the cost to families for sending children to school.[2]

HKO started first in 10 provinces that had the highest illiteracy rates. It later expanded to all 81 of Turkey’s provinces. To ensure effective implementation, partnerships at central and local levels were established. A conditional cash-transfer scheme was launched in 2003 to help parents cover the costs of sending their children to school, and free textbooks were provided to every child in primary education, encouraging parents to send their girls (as well as boys) to school.

HKO has contributed to improving the gender parity in primary education in Turkey. While the disparity between schooling rates of girls and boys was 7.15 percent in 2003, the year the campaign was first launched, this disparity dropped down to 1.02 percent between 2008 and 2009.[3] Thanks to the campaign, more than 200,000 girls have enrolled in primary school.[4] Turkey today is in a better position in terms of gender parity in primary education and it has a better system for monitoring school enrollment and attendance.

NOTES:

1 Otaran et al (2003), “Gender in Education in Turkey,” UNICEF. Back to Article.

2 Karasar, N. (1991), “Factors Influencing School Attendance in Basic Education in Turkey: With Special Emphasis on Female Participation,” World Bank (Unpublished report). Back to Article.

3 MEB (2011), Eğitimde Son 10 Yıl MEB, İlköğretim Genel Müdürlüğü, Ankara. Back to Article.

4 UNICEF (201, “Terms of Reference: Documentation of Girls Education Campaign in Turkey,” UNICEF. http://www.unicef.org/turkey/jb/pdf/ToR_HKO.pdf. Back to Article.

The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of the U.S. government.

‘Hey Girls, Let’s Go to School!’

Abridged and reprinted with permission from the United Nations Girls’ Education Initiative and UNICEF.

In hundreds of villages [in Turkey’s Van province], in schools and homes and coffee houses, the same question [has been] asked by teachers, journalists, local activists and religious leaders.

“What will it take to get your daughter in school?”

The campaign, dubbed “Hey Girls, Let’s Go to School,” depends on a vast network of volunteers who go door-to-door to lobby parents on the value of education.

On a stop in Bakimli village, a remote outpost near the Iranian border, a team of four teachers checks a list of children and nods at a mud house where an 8-year-old girl is said to be out of school.

The woman who answers the door does not appear surprised at the group gathered on her front steps — in accordance with the campaign’s closely monitored rules, volunteers visit each village regularly in order to assess progress and ensure that parents follow through when it comes time to register for school. With an air of resignation, she arranges chairs for the visitors almost before the first greetings are exchanged.

“My husband and brother are working in Istanbul,” she says. “I’m afraid to stay home alone. And I don’t think my daughter really needs to go to school.”

Sukran Celik, a teacher from Van who works on the campaign in her spare time, nods sympathetically. “But isn’t it hard for you to read instructions when you go places? If your daughter is educated, she can earn money and bring in a salary and care for her mother.”

Twenty minutes later, the mother is wavering — won over by the force of Sukran’s arguments, she still worries that education will spoil her daughter for marriage. It takes a visit from the village imam, Ibrahim Yasin, to persuade her that school will make her daughter a better mother someday.

Like many religious leaders in Turkey, the imam promotes girls’ education during Friday prayers. “It is a girl’s right to go to school,” he says. “A girl must be educated. Islam tells us this.”

Above all, it is the connection between neighbors that seals the mother’s decision to send her daughter to school. “I am a role model, because I am educated,” says Sukran. “I am from Van; I am from this culture; I show them that this is what girls can be.”

According to Zozan Ozgokce, the head of the Van Women’s Association and another volunteer who visits local homes, there is a growing consensus that education is an imperative for every child.

“When we ask women how they want their children to live, they almost never say ‘like me.’ And when we ask the women what they want to be, they say ‘educated.’

“It might take 25 years for the effects of this campaign to show,” she says. “But the campaign will still be visible then — because it is this generation that will show how the world can be.”

December 22, 2005


Read more: http://iipdigital.usembassy.gov/st/english/publication/2011/06/20110630090313aidan6.293452e-02.html#ixzz2aXdRZ8Ol

 

649.       gokuyum
5050 posts
 30 Jul 2013 Tue 06:46 pm

Modest means modest

They are still modest even if they are smart.

650.       Kelowna
375 posts
 30 Jul 2013 Tue 07:25 pm

 

Quoting gokuyum

Modest means modest

They are still modest even if they are smart.

does that mean she is quieter than her arrogant full of himself husband

who thinks a modest wife is good for the kitchen and mother of his children but wants to visit the local whore house for fun and games because his wife is simple , simple minded and bores him.

explain your definition of modest

also is it a 2 way street maybe she would want a modest husband who does not stray and he keeps his righteous idea´s to himself.

Dear Gokuyum

why do you make these posts about you and feel the need to refute them with your own personal examples. There is more than one Turk on this website or are you using many names ...........????



Edited (7/30/2013) by Kelowna

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