Hi friends,  i wonder if there´s any turkish girl in this forum or, at least, someone who knows them deeply or almost, the thing is that i´m dating a turkish girl, i m really interested in her but, she doesnt seem to be taking me serious so far. i might think that the language is one of the reasons why we cant communicate well but, also, she cheated on me TWICE !! and later came back saying how much she loves me and she doesnt want to loose me, ETC.

Anyway, i m doing my best not to loose my feelings about her, so noone can say i didnt try it at all.........

I dont know if there´s too much difference between our cultures, i m a latinguy by the way, and maybe that s the reason she doesnt want to take me serious or, i dont know, im blank about this topic, i just want some advice about how to deal with her.

thanx for ur time.

You cant really judge all turkish girls on one girl!!! and u cant ask ppl about turkish girls cause girls all over the world will have different personalaties! so you could ask for advice about what to do but you cant really generalize about all girls just like you just cant generalize about all turkish men as we said on another thread!

thanx for ur reply doudi, but as u can see in my post, i´m not generalizing, i know i can´t do so.

i m just saying i dont know anything ´bout them or their culture, and maybe there´s something i need to know to understand this particular girl better.  that´s why i explained a little about her behaviour towards me, so the person who gently wants to advice me -or give any clue- knows who i´m dealing with.  i´ve dated nice and not so nice girls, but wherever they went from, i tried always to learn about their cultures -i think someone who really cares should do so in order to understand or make the relationship better -

again, thanx for any clue anyone can give me.

Is it possible that there are some female Dudu´s about.

oh im sorry dan, i didnt mean to atack you or anything, and youre completely right, you have to know her culture and stuff, anyway good luck in your relationship!

 well we are always going on about equality and all that so why not

Why would something in her culture explain her cheating? Is this acceptable in any culture? She´s cheated on you twice! Is there a message there perhaps?

Thanx doudi  Another thing i just remembered,  when talking -or trying to talk- ´bout us, she mentioned something about "helal". i was trying to explain few things ´bout my feelings to her and she laughed and said "not helal"

Any clue?? thanx

thanx sonunda, maybe i´m trying to look for water in the desert-- anyway, i don´t want to give up without trying my best..

Wouldn´t you prefer someone who hadn´t cheated on you though? It´s your call.  Good luck anyway.

i thnk helal is the oppisite of haram, helal means okay or acceptable in religion i think :S, it means lawful or okay, so maybe when you described your feelings she said its not helal (heheh)at least thats what it means in arabic

 Helal means permissable/legitimate, lawful under Islamic law.

so i was right! its like in arabic but most islamic terms are

 Sorry doudi - I didn´t see your post!

I cannot generalize all girls depending just on nationality, but it´s very rare, much rarer than boys that turkish girls date with a foreign guy. It´s not impossible, there are some examples, I saw a few girls who got married to a foreign guy and the guys did not even change their religion, however they were free girls, I mean not religious, drinking alcohol and working girls who got high education as well. Otherwise turkish girls often prefer turkish boys to marry, even being muslim is not enough. So, even if she likes and loves you, she might not prefer to stay with you, because often for turkish girls marriage is the biggest goal in their lives and a serious relationship should lead to marriage,  and they usually want to date with a potential husband. She tries a lot of men to pick the best one among them maybe and she cannot see you as a potential husband. So, she thinks, you are not worth her time and efforts.

But, they are just my assumptions, I just said one of the possible reasons. Maybe the reason is totally different. We do not know anything about this girl. Maybe she just likes dating with men. Where is this girl,  in Turkey or in a foreign country?

I just read your other post, if she talks about "helal", then I´m sorry to tell you this but there´s no hope with this girl... If you really want to be with her, you should definitely convert to Islam.

Oh boy, the saying is usually true once a cheat always a cheat.  Do you really think she will change her behavior?  It sounds like if you keep taking her back your almost enableing her.  Sending a message that it´s ok to sh_t you.  I believe in forgiveness but my gosh twice now..Is this the kind of girl you want to spend the rest of your life with?  If so, you must not think alot of yourself.  Of course this is just my opinion, not trying to be harsh on you.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 sorry to hear that but if she was cheaing woow she is not into you for a candidate for a husband.

 I am sorry, but let me clearify thisfor you a bit. "Haram" means serious sin which God in the Quran forbides and a preson will be puniched for this in this life or hereafter. "Halal" , on the other hand means the opposite so it is what Allah wants us to do, meaning avoiding evils things which brings one closer to God and makes him a better beliverwith true faith. 

P.S. I do not know what is your belief, but you have to learn more anout her religion  as well. Good Luck.

 Actually, helal does not mean something that Allah wants us to do. It means it is something permitted. There are degrees of helal, the lowest being makruh, but permitted. For instance, divorce is helal, but mekruh.

lol, actualy my religion is the same as hers

In everything that I have read online, it says that Turkish girls are the quiet and loyal type.. My boyfriend has told me that his last three relationships ended because the girl cheated on him.  I am kind of confused on this.. That is done here (the USA) alot by both.. but it seems in reading on here, that Turkish girls are not as nice as they seem.  Just an opinion..  I have only met one Turkish girl and that is my boyfriends sister.. she is of course.. very sweet.

Why would Turkish girls be any different from American ones? A lot of Turkish girls are well educated, career-oriented and of high self-esteem. They don´t follow the hillbilly´s daughter stereotype where woman´s only dream is to be married by 20 and have children. Self conscious Turkish gals are no different from Western ones

I completely agree with DD. Turkish women are no different then any other women, there are good and bad ones. What I have noticed is that there are more Turkish submissive women then I have met American ones, but I have also met many different Turkish women - strong radical feminists, highly educated, independent ones and some manipulative, lazy ones. Overall, Turkish women pay a lot of attention to how they look (really not much different then anywhere else) - as they seem to be very much objectified by Turkish males.

 I think this is the same everywhere. There are some that are the intelligent, strong and independant type and also the lazy and manipulative types.. Women are objectified everywhere! What woman doesnt look at the model in the magazine and say I want to be like that!   My previous statement was about mltm´s quote that the girls there see many men to find one that the like the best.  I know that virginity is key there, but it seems everything else goes?