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Ankara women largely unhappy, study shows
(26 Messages in 3 pages - View all)
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10.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 01:51 am

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

 

As for my beliefs, you do not know me and have no idea of who I am. You don´t know if I´m female or male, a US citizen or an immigrant...or just visiting.

 

 

I´d hate to disappoint you but none of frequent TC users is that anonymous - we all share doses of privacy every now and then. We know you are a woman, we know you have a few niquabs, love nargile, live or lived in the NY, you´re still attractive to sexual maniacs on the tube, learnt how to make dresses from your grandmother who´d made them for famous people...it also shows you´re not a teenager as your opinions, whether one agrees with them or not, are balanced and well-thought...see, you´re not a stranger (don´t worry, we won´t tell anyone )

11.       portokal
2516 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 01:56 am

 

Quoting Daydreamer

 

 

I´d hate to disappoint you but none of frequent TC users is that anonymous - we all share doses of privacy every now and then. We know you are a woman, we know you have a few niquabs, love nargile, live or lived in the NY, you´re still attractive to sexual maniacs on the tube, learnt how to make dresses from your grandmother who´d made them for famous people...it also shows you´re not a teenager as your opinions, whether one agrees with them or not, are balanced and well-thought...see, you´re not a stranger (don´t worry, we won´t tell anyone )

 

 

I think, regardless what I know about you or Alameda or anyone else, that this is a rather unappropriate post. Too many details, you know...

 

12.       alameda
3499 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 01:59 am

 

Quoting Daydreamer

 

 

I´d hate to disappoint you but none of frequent TC users is that anonymous - we all share doses of privacy every now and then. We know you are a woman, we know you have a few niquabs, love nargile, live or lived in the NY, you´re still attractive to sexual maniacs on the tube, learnt how to make dresses from your grandmother who´d made them for famous people...it also shows you´re not a teenager as your opinions, whether one agrees with them or not, are balanced and well-thought...see, you´re not a stranger (don´t worry, we won´t tell anyone )

 

 Actually you got that wrong, it was me that made garments for famous people......

 

Attractive to "you´re still attractive to sexual maniacs on the tube," what tube? First to me....but do you really know any of that, or have you just assumed that to be the case?

13.       alameda
3499 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 02:03 am

 

Quoting portokal

 

 

Hmmm... I have to admit my attention was got by the impulsive posts... I have also read the original article.

Alameda, I think I disagree with your post - and opinion.

For eg., reporting violence can not attire thankfulness!

Your comparation is not the most suitable - because greediness is one thing, but to wish different (more peacefull, replenishing) life conditions is different. Of course, this is a wise saying, being thankful for what we got, only it has it´s own meaning. There are wise sayings for domestical violence, too.

And I can come with a parabola, which you may know, also - it is Plato´s parabola with peoples sitting at a tourchlight in caves - they are happy until they discover surface light.... So evolution is a tendency towards "better quality light".

I may understand here a wish to protect a society... true, yet, I was never able to protect injutice, or bad allocation of resources, neglect, unhappiness. I , in my ways, try to do soemthing anagainst these - I am sure that you, in your ways try the same.

And oh, yes, where I live(Romania), we can come with many similarities regarding women "rights" (a term I disagree with, it is reflecting like women have no rights - question of nuance)....

 

 A thughtful post portokal

 

My point was that many of the issues that the report stated the women were unhappy about would be the same in any situation. When people have the idea the grass is greener someplace else, they long for it rather that appreciating what they actually have.

 

Of course if a woman does the same work as a man, she should get the same pay and nobody should be beaten or forced to have sex against their will.

 

Then let´s look at the issue of dealing with an ungrateful nagging wife as well. I have seen situations where the husband has become so demoralised by his nagging family he all but gives up. He looses self esteem and lashes out. There is the issue of provocation to consider. It is not always so simple.

 

I always produce more when given encouragement, demanding produces very little with me.

 

As for my statement. I still stand by it. Most people always want more rather than being thankful for what they have. What on earth is wrong with that?

 

This part of the report is generic....it´s true for everyone

 

"Asked about the biggest problem they faced, 31.1 percent of the women cited trying to get by financially, while 14.1 percent complained of a lack of economic independence. Other issues faced by the women include women being controlled by men and discrimination, problems related to children, violence, abuse, under-education, the inability to take a vacation from responsibilities, not being in control of their own lives and being unable to meet their own clothing and personal expenses. Sixty-five percent of participants described themselves as troubled, while 15.3 percent said they were happy women. Out of those who identified themselves as troubled, one in four said it was because they couldn´t solve their financial problems, and one in five said it was because they were unable to meet their life goals."

 

I couldn´t even begin to tell you what percentage of females in the US have been raped or molested....it´s very high.

14.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 02:13 am

 

Quoting portokal

 

 

 

I think, regardless what I know about you or Alameda or anyone else, that this is a rather unappropriate post. Too many details, you know...

 

 

I just wrote what I remember Alameda sharing with us herself, not some intimate details she told me secretly

15.       Daydreamer
3743 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 02:14 am

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

 Actually you got that wrong, it was me that made garments for famous people......

 

Attractive to "you´re still attractive to sexual maniacs on the tube," what tube? First to me....but do you really know any of that, or have you just assumed that to be the case?

Tube is subway and in one of your posts you said about being harassed by someone there

 

16.       portokal
2516 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 02:15 am

 

Quoting alameda

 

 

 A thughtful post portokal

 

My point was that many of the issues that the report stated the women were unhappy about would be the same in any situation. When people have the idea the grass is greener someplace else, they long for it rather that appreciating what they actually have.

 

Of course if a woman does the same work as a man, she should get the same pay and nobody should be beaten or forced to have sex against their will.

 

I am sorry, do you actually feel this deep down in your heart? Because you´re argument is so rational... (of course)

 

Then let´s look at the issue of dealing with an ungrateful nagging wife as well. I have seen situations where the husband has become so demoralised by his nagging family he all but gives up. He looses self esteem and lashes out. There is the issue of provocation to consider. It is not always so simple.

 

This is irrelevant as a social tendency, unless prooven, that a considerable majority of wives are nagging. More than that, I once read a study which i unfortunately am not able to quote now, but nag is also a reaction of isolation. You can find similar example in ethological studies, too. In short, isolate a child and it will become nagging, do it with an animal, it will also show comportamental disturbances... No wonder with women. It is more like vicious circle. Nagging does not come from high esteem , either!!!

 

I always produce more when given encouragement, demanding produces very little with me.

 

Yet, we have to face demanding sometimes (I hope I understand the term well, as requesting) and try to find encouragement if not given... sometimes it can happen we are deprived from that, yet, lack of encouragement is acceptable as a fact only under 18, after that, we have to deal with problems...

 

As for my statement. I still stand by it. Most people always want more rather than being thankful for what they have. What on earth is wrong with that?

 

. You are undermining a basic civilizational need. Even if mankind can face salf-distruction, the majority of steps were made fr improving throughout history...

 

This part of the report is generic....it´s true for everyone

 

"Asked about the biggest problem they faced, 31.1 percent of the women cited trying to get by financially, while 14.1 percent complained of a lack of economic independence. Other issues faced by the women include women being controlled by men and discrimination, problems related to children, violence, abuse, under-education, the inability to take a vacation from responsibilities, not being in control of their own lives and being unable to meet their own clothing and personal expenses. Sixty-five percent of participants described themselves as troubled, while 15.3 percent said they were happy women. Out of those who identified themselves as troubled, one in four said it was because they couldn´t solve their financial problems, and one in five said it was because they were unable to meet their life goals."

 

I couldn´t even begin to tell you what percentage of females in the US have been raped or molested....it´s very high.


true. (although I did not took statistical data to compare, I admit that) Who said that the "alternative" (in this case US) is perfect? But neither is women´s condition as described in this study an alternative... the alternative is in the future for us to find. (Americans are, i guess, few steps further)

 

 

17.       alameda
3499 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 05:32 am

 

Quoting Daydreamer

 

Tube is subway and in one of your posts you said about being harassed by someone there

 

 

Oh, of course....Yes it was one of those guys in the NYC subway who spread their legs so wide that you had no room to sit and the damn legs presses up against you. I don´t know if he was being sexual or just wanted more space. I was tired of scrunching myself up...so that was the limit!

 

You know with his legs open like that he really was quite vulnerable. I helped him understand his own vulnerability. As soon as he understood, he closed his legs.

 

There are a lot of mashers on the subways in NY. It´s a masher paradise during rush hour. Do you have that where you are? I once had two little girls with me....10 and 13....trying to protect them was a nightmare.

18.       lessluv
1052 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 05:49 am

well you learn something new everyday!.....my only definition of masher before today was a tool to make mash (potatoes to be sure) {#lang_emotions_owned}

19.       alameda
3499 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 06:28 am

 

Quoting portokal

 

I am sorry, do you actually feel this deep down in your heart? Because you´re argument is so rational... (of course)


Of course.

 

This is irrelevant as a social tendency, unless prooven, that a considerable majority of wives are nagging. More than that, I once read a study which i unfortunately am not able to quote now, but nag is also a reaction of isolation. You can find similar example in ethological studies, too. In short, isolate a child and it will become nagging, do it with an animal, it will also show comportamental disturbances... No wonder with women. It is more like vicious circle. Nagging does not come from high esteem , either!!!

 

Of course, it goes both ways. ...but it has to start someplace.

 

Yet, we have to face demanding sometimes (I hope I understand the term well, as requesting) and try to find encouragement if not given... sometimes it can happen we are deprived from that, yet, lack of encouragement is acceptable as a fact only under 18, after that, we have to deal with problems...

 

We may have to, but I do think the pill would go down easier with a bit of honey. I didn´t say it would be easy.

 

. You are undermining a basic civilizational need. Even if mankind can face salf-distruction, the majority of steps were made fr improving throughout history...

 

Yes, but that civilizational "need" is causing the whole planet ruin. Maybe it´s time to take a serious evaluation. I also question if the steps were for improvement, or aggrandizment. A lot is just needless self perpetuating drivvle. New fashions every year.....How often we fill our plates with more than we need. Will we have vomitarians again, while the rest of the world starves?

 

This principal is one of the 4 noble truths as outlined in Buddihism

 

true. (although I did not took statistical data to compare, I admit that) Who said that the "alternative" (in this case US) is perfect? But neither is women´s condition as described in this study an alternative... the alternative is in the future for us to find. (Americans are, i guess, few steps further)

 

I would not say Americans are any steps further along, their problems are less public. In my opinion the alternative is to evolve more spiritually in terms of compassion and patience and gratitude as a species.

20.       yilgun-7
1326 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:27 pm

I think there is not equal rights for the women in the underdeveloped countries and even in some developed countries, according to Media and my observations, unfortunately.

 



Edited (3/10/2009) by yilgun-7
Edited (3/10/2009) by yilgun-7
Edited (3/11/2009) by yilgun-7

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