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I don´t understand my Turkish boyfriend
(72 Messages in 8 pages - View all)
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1.       kali1969
22 posts
 09 Mar 2009 Mon 11:57 pm

Hello Everyone!

I know this is pathetic of me to post a question regarding my relationship with my Turkish boyfriend but I can´t help myself.  So sorry to those I offend.  But here goes....

He says he loves me all the time and that I´m beautiful and special and that I am his life.  But he doesn´t like to spend his free time with me!  I have to beg him to do anything with me.  He would rather play cards or backgammon with his friends or on his computer than hang out with me.  I never had a boyfriend do this before.  Is this a Turkish thing?  I don´t get it.  He´s not a boy.  He´s 35 years old and has his own business.  He even asked me to marry him.  Why would he want to marry someone he doesn´t like to spend time with?  I don´t think it´s a visa thing because he´d rather live in Turkey and so would I.

I asked him why he does this and he says it´s not true, that we do spend time together.  I don´t think 2 hours at night in bed correlates to hanging out and sharing experiences.  He just doesn´t get it.

Is it a Turkish thing?  Or did I fall in love with a jerk?  He won´t even help me learn Turkish.  He makes one of his workers tutor me.  We´ve been together 6 months now, but it seems it´s always been this way.  He´s really sweet to me otherwise.  Am I stupid or what?

2.       thehandsom
7403 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:05 am

 

Quoting kali1969

Hello Everyone!

I know this is pathetic of me to post a question regarding my relationship with my Turkish boyfriend but I can´t help myself.  So sorry to those I offend.  But here goes....

He says he loves me all the time and that I´m beautiful and special and that I am his life.  But he doesn´t like to spend his free time with me!  I have to beg him to do anything with me.  He would rather play cards or backgammon with his friends or on his computer than hang out with me.  I never had a boyfriend do this before.  Is this a Turkish thing?  I don´t get it.  He´s not a boy.  He´s 35 years old and has his own business.  He even asked me to marry him.  Why would he want to marry someone he doesn´t like to spend time with?  I don´t think it´s a visa thing because he´d rather live in Turkey and so would I.

I asked him why he does this and he says it´s not true, that we do spend time together.  I don´t think 2 hours at night in bed correlates to hanging out and sharing experiences.  He just doesn´t get it.

Is it a Turkish thing?  Or did I fall in love with a jerk?  He won´t even help me learn Turkish.  He makes one of his workers tutor me.  We´ve been together 6 months now, but it seems it´s always been this way.  He´s really sweet to me otherwise.  Am I stupid or what?

 

Yes it might be a Turkish thing for some men..He sounds like my father actually..He almost spent his entire life in ´kahvehane´s..

Why dont you learn back gammon and okey and 51 for yourself. And arrange a room and smoke many cigs inside -do not open the windows- so the room can be quite smokey. And make turkish tea with carbonate. And also learn a few swearing words..

Basically, you try to create kind of same environment, incase it helps..

 

3.       femmeous
2642 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:10 am

 

Quoting thehandsom

 

 

 

Why dont you learn back gammon and okey and 51 for yourself. And arrange a room and smoke many cigs inside -do not open the windows- so the room can be quite smokey. And make turkish tea with carbonate. And also learn a few swearing words..

Basically, you try to create kind of same environment, incase it helps..

 

 

lol loved it!

4.       kali1969
22 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:16 am

Dear Handsom

thank you for your reply.  you know what?  you just totally described my boyfriend.  I am doomed.  I used to think the problem was that he doesn´t speak very good english but now...maybe not.  He´s just that kind of guy.  Thank you.

5.       Azymuth
27 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:21 am

 

Quoting kali1969

Hello Everyone!

I know this is pathetic of me to post a question regarding my relationship with my Turkish boyfriend but I can´t help myself.  So sorry to those I offend.  But here goes....

He says he loves me all the time and that I´m beautiful and special and that I am his life.  But he doesn´t like to spend his free time with me!  I have to beg him to do anything with me.  He would rather play cards or backgammon with his friends or on his computer than hang out with me.  I never had a boyfriend do this before.  Is this a Turkish thing?  I don´t get it.  He´s not a boy.  He´s 35 years old and has his own business.  He even asked me to marry him.  Why would he want to marry someone he doesn´t like to spend time with?  I don´t think it´s a visa thing because he´d rather live in Turkey and so would I.

I asked him why he does this and he says it´s not true, that we do spend time together.  I don´t think 2 hours at night in bed correlates to hanging out and sharing experiences.  He just doesn´t get it.

Is it a Turkish thing?  Or did I fall in love with a jerk?  He won´t even help me learn Turkish.  He makes one of his workers tutor me.  We´ve been together 6 months now, but it seems it´s always been this way.  He´s really sweet to me otherwise.  Am I stupid or what?

 

 Funny thing, you are describing someone I know (knew) very well.  I think it is a Turkish man thing no matter the age or where they live, that is all irrelevant {#lang_emotions_confused}  A Turkish man is a Turkish man - fullstop.

6.       turquoise
938 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 11:22 pm

 

Quoting kali1969

Dear Handsom

thank you for your reply.  you know what?  you just totally described my boyfriend.  I am doomed.  I used to think the problem was that he doesn´t speak very good english but now...maybe not.  He´s just that kind of guy.  Thank you.

 

 does he sleeps with his socks on as well?{#lang_emotions_unsure}

7.       turquoise
938 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 11:25 pm

 

Quoting Azymuth

 

 

 Funny thing, you are describing someone I know (knew) very well.  I think it is a Turkish man thing no matter the age or where they live, that is all irrelevant {#lang_emotions_confused}  A Turkish man is a Turkish man - fullstop.

 

 {#lang_emotions_wtf}{#lang_emotions_sad}

8.       mltm
3690 posts
 10 Mar 2009 Tue 11:59 pm

I think it´s not a turkish thing. There´re many turkish men who like to meet his girlfriend and spend time with her. There might be many like yours in Turkey, as well, but thinking that it´s a turkish thing would be quite over simplfying things. It´s just high probability that being a non turkish you fell on such a type who does not know the real meaning of having a relationship. They are the kind of men you have to avoid because the bad news is that they never change. You´ll never be satisfied in this relationship, you´ll just get more and more frustrated and hurt. Don´t ever think to start a life with him. He will marry you, you´ll have kids, but you will always feel yourself isolated. {#lang_emotions_noway}

9.       Elisabeth
5732 posts
 11 Mar 2009 Wed 03:21 am

 

Quoting mltm

I think it´s not a turkish thing. There´re many turkish men who like to meet his girlfriend and spend time with her. There might be many like yours in Turkey, as well, but thinking that it´s a turkish thing would be quite over simplfying things. It´s just high probability that being a non turkish you fell on such a type who does not know the real meaning of having a relationship. They are the kind of men you have to avoid because the bad news is that they never change. You´ll never be satisfied in this relationship, you´ll just get more and more frustrated and hurt. Don´t ever think to start a life with him. He will marry you, you´ll have kids, but you will always feel yourself isolated. {#lang_emotions_noway}

 

 mltm...write this day down on a calendar.......I agree with you totally!  

 

This sounds like a case of "He´s Just Not That Into You." 

10.       TheAenigma
5001 posts
 11 Mar 2009 Wed 11:29 am

 

Quoting mltm

I think it´s not a turkish thing. There´re many turkish men who like to meet his girlfriend and spend time with her. There might be many like yours in Turkey, as well, but thinking that it´s a turkish thing would be quite over simplfying things. It´s just high probability that being a non turkish you fell on such a type who does not know the real meaning of having a relationship. They are the kind of men you have to avoid because the bad news is that they never change. You´ll never be satisfied in this relationship, you´ll just get more and more frustrated and hurt. Don´t ever think to start a life with him. He will marry you, you´ll have kids, but you will always feel yourself isolated. {#lang_emotions_noway}

 

 +1000 Completely agree... (strange )

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