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I don´t understand my Turkish boyfriend
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1. |
09 Mar 2009 Mon 11:57 pm |
Hello Everyone!
I know this is pathetic of me to post a question regarding my relationship with my Turkish boyfriend but I can´t help myself. So sorry to those I offend. But here goes....
He says he loves me all the time and that I´m beautiful and special and that I am his life. But he doesn´t like to spend his free time with me! I have to beg him to do anything with me. He would rather play cards or backgammon with his friends or on his computer than hang out with me. I never had a boyfriend do this before. Is this a Turkish thing? I don´t get it. He´s not a boy. He´s 35 years old and has his own business. He even asked me to marry him. Why would he want to marry someone he doesn´t like to spend time with? I don´t think it´s a visa thing because he´d rather live in Turkey and so would I.
I asked him why he does this and he says it´s not true, that we do spend time together. I don´t think 2 hours at night in bed correlates to hanging out and sharing experiences. He just doesn´t get it.
Is it a Turkish thing? Or did I fall in love with a jerk? He won´t even help me learn Turkish. He makes one of his workers tutor me. We´ve been together 6 months now, but it seems it´s always been this way. He´s really sweet to me otherwise. Am I stupid or what?
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2. |
10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:05 am |
Hello Everyone!
I know this is pathetic of me to post a question regarding my relationship with my Turkish boyfriend but I can´t help myself. So sorry to those I offend. But here goes....
He says he loves me all the time and that I´m beautiful and special and that I am his life. But he doesn´t like to spend his free time with me! I have to beg him to do anything with me. He would rather play cards or backgammon with his friends or on his computer than hang out with me. I never had a boyfriend do this before. Is this a Turkish thing? I don´t get it. He´s not a boy. He´s 35 years old and has his own business. He even asked me to marry him. Why would he want to marry someone he doesn´t like to spend time with? I don´t think it´s a visa thing because he´d rather live in Turkey and so would I.
I asked him why he does this and he says it´s not true, that we do spend time together. I don´t think 2 hours at night in bed correlates to hanging out and sharing experiences. He just doesn´t get it.
Is it a Turkish thing? Or did I fall in love with a jerk? He won´t even help me learn Turkish. He makes one of his workers tutor me. We´ve been together 6 months now, but it seems it´s always been this way. He´s really sweet to me otherwise. Am I stupid or what?
Yes it might be a Turkish thing for some men..He sounds like my father actually..He almost spent his entire life in ´kahvehane´s..
Why dont you learn back gammon and okey and 51 for yourself. And arrange a room and smoke many cigs inside -do not open the windows- so the room can be quite smokey. And make turkish tea with carbonate. And also learn a few swearing words..
Basically, you try to create kind of same environment, incase it helps..
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10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:10 am |
Why dont you learn back gammon and okey and 51 for yourself. And arrange a room and smoke many cigs inside -do not open the windows- so the room can be quite smokey. And make turkish tea with carbonate. And also learn a few swearing words..
Basically, you try to create kind of same environment, incase it helps..
loved it!
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10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:16 am |
Dear Handsom
thank you for your reply. you know what? you just totally described my boyfriend. I am doomed. I used to think the problem was that he doesn´t speak very good english but now...maybe not. He´s just that kind of guy. Thank you.
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10 Mar 2009 Tue 12:21 am |
Hello Everyone!
I know this is pathetic of me to post a question regarding my relationship with my Turkish boyfriend but I can´t help myself. So sorry to those I offend. But here goes....
He says he loves me all the time and that I´m beautiful and special and that I am his life. But he doesn´t like to spend his free time with me! I have to beg him to do anything with me. He would rather play cards or backgammon with his friends or on his computer than hang out with me. I never had a boyfriend do this before. Is this a Turkish thing? I don´t get it. He´s not a boy. He´s 35 years old and has his own business. He even asked me to marry him. Why would he want to marry someone he doesn´t like to spend time with? I don´t think it´s a visa thing because he´d rather live in Turkey and so would I.
I asked him why he does this and he says it´s not true, that we do spend time together. I don´t think 2 hours at night in bed correlates to hanging out and sharing experiences. He just doesn´t get it.
Is it a Turkish thing? Or did I fall in love with a jerk? He won´t even help me learn Turkish. He makes one of his workers tutor me. We´ve been together 6 months now, but it seems it´s always been this way. He´s really sweet to me otherwise. Am I stupid or what?
Funny thing, you are describing someone I know (knew) very well. I think it is a Turkish man thing no matter the age or where they live, that is all irrelevant A Turkish man is a Turkish man - fullstop.
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10 Mar 2009 Tue 11:22 pm |
Dear Handsom
thank you for your reply. you know what? you just totally described my boyfriend. I am doomed. I used to think the problem was that he doesn´t speak very good english but now...maybe not. He´s just that kind of guy. Thank you.
does he sleeps with his socks on as well?
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10 Mar 2009 Tue 11:25 pm |
Funny thing, you are describing someone I know (knew) very well. I think it is a Turkish man thing no matter the age or where they live, that is all irrelevant A Turkish man is a Turkish man - fullstop.
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10 Mar 2009 Tue 11:59 pm |
I think it´s not a turkish thing. There´re many turkish men who like to meet his girlfriend and spend time with her. There might be many like yours in Turkey, as well, but thinking that it´s a turkish thing would be quite over simplfying things. It´s just high probability that being a non turkish you fell on such a type who does not know the real meaning of having a relationship. They are the kind of men you have to avoid because the bad news is that they never change. You´ll never be satisfied in this relationship, you´ll just get more and more frustrated and hurt. Don´t ever think to start a life with him. He will marry you, you´ll have kids, but you will always feel yourself isolated.
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11 Mar 2009 Wed 03:21 am |
I think it´s not a turkish thing. There´re many turkish men who like to meet his girlfriend and spend time with her. There might be many like yours in Turkey, as well, but thinking that it´s a turkish thing would be quite over simplfying things. It´s just high probability that being a non turkish you fell on such a type who does not know the real meaning of having a relationship. They are the kind of men you have to avoid because the bad news is that they never change. You´ll never be satisfied in this relationship, you´ll just get more and more frustrated and hurt. Don´t ever think to start a life with him. He will marry you, you´ll have kids, but you will always feel yourself isolated.
mltm...write this day down on a calendar.......I agree with you totally!
This sounds like a case of "He´s Just Not That Into You."
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11 Mar 2009 Wed 11:29 am |
I think it´s not a turkish thing. There´re many turkish men who like to meet his girlfriend and spend time with her. There might be many like yours in Turkey, as well, but thinking that it´s a turkish thing would be quite over simplfying things. It´s just high probability that being a non turkish you fell on such a type who does not know the real meaning of having a relationship. They are the kind of men you have to avoid because the bad news is that they never change. You´ll never be satisfied in this relationship, you´ll just get more and more frustrated and hurt. Don´t ever think to start a life with him. He will marry you, you´ll have kids, but you will always feel yourself isolated.
+1000 Completely agree... (strange )
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