Dear classmates,please do not forget enroll on time

6-6.45

AE swimming classes-no need to bring swimming suit

7.10-8.05

AlphaF- molecular biology of indecent  and decent women-as tests will be taken pls do not eat anything

8.15-9.00

physical education with upsy daisy

you will learn how to play basketball with all possible balls

9.10-10.45

music with Sui

pls bring your tracksuits and relax

11-11.45

the Janissary"s geography class-a trip to the Black sea

don´t forget your sandwiches

NOTE

theh excluded from the trip as he hates Kara deniz

12-12.45

daydreamer´s lecture on Polish vices

13-13.45

woodwork with Libralady

how to build a trap

pls bring some materials

14-14.45

Girleegirl´s presentation-psychology class

"How to avoid weepers"

15-15.45

Christian nazists and their influence on Dabrowskis-a lecture by tami

16-16.45

grammar class with sonuda and LIR

17-17.45

preparation to family life-only for women,class run by catwoman

18-18.45

zaman reading..boring..you can skip it,no consequences -led by the h

19-19.45

essay and travel writing by Trudy

20-20.45

tabloid literature workshop by elizabeth

and finally

21-21.45

dudum classes by reyhanL

have a good day and enjoy your daily classes

no complaints permitted)

MMuuuuuuuhaahhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaa!!!

I want to make an announcement taht my class:

"preparation to family life-only for women,class run by catwoman

18-18.45"

Is NOT only for women, all are welcome!! Hope you will all enroll.. There will be cookies..

I will also be giving a one time lecture on "bed american sarcasm."  If you are not Amerikan but interact with Amerikans, or have an Amerikan as a pet, this class is a MUST!  Space is limited....pls sign up at once!  

I was hoping to take Libra´s woodworking class, but won´t be available at that time.   Is there a make up session?

you may have to contact LL about it...

 Aren´t you in Alpha´s class right now?

You dont seem to have a slot there..

Please take mine

Will this be alongside your tabloid literature class?   Sounds good value

 OMG I only just saw this!!! I am so sorry for being late!  It is a bit chilly this morning so I recommend wet suits

 Now classmates, we don´t really need any wood to build a trap, just a spade to dig a hole will do!  

 Just wondered when you were holding the "how to use a lie detector" lessons?  A few people might be interested

 Actually, I will be offering the class in the Lounge this evening.  I must add, if you are a sensitive whiner sort, please do not come.  If you don´t want to be teased about your nationality, culture (or lack thereof, as in the case of most Amerikans), religion or hair preferences, again, STAY HOME.  This is a class for those who enjoy laughing at themselves and don´t mind getting a laugh at the expense of somebody else who can laugh at themselves! 

Please may I sign up for this one?  I am not sure about the hair teasing though - I take my hair VERY seriously....

Please leave your hair anxiety at the door.  There will be plenty of drinking, so you should forget your hair fairly quickly.

grammar class with sonunda and LIR

This will take place on the flight from Gatwick to Bodrum (which is where I´ll be at the time)

Awww... where are you giving away the tickets?

Geez why didn´t anyone tell me I have a class!    I haven´t prepared my syllabus! 

Well I waited and no-one turned up.  Was it supposed to be UK time or Turkey time??  

 You might want to consider changing your topic

She didn´t give us much notice did she?  And I notice she´s (birdy) not taking any classes herself  

You think grammar class might be unpopular....?      - we can´t do British sarcasm - I think that´s been done before.

 Just a thought.  Maybe you could put together a class for the new girls that come to TC -

When is enough, enough - should I send him that new laptop?

I think it would draw a few curious students.

 I am still working on  schedule,syllabus and examination standards,I promise to come soon with updates and my classes as well

Lir don´t complain it was at short notice,teachers should be always prepared,shouldn´t they?

 OR - "Interpreting your own translation requests - When seni seviyorum really means just send me money". 

Sounds good - I´ll have a word with Sonunda.  I think we could add ´short medical course to help determine whether that operation is really necessary´ - CW could help us with that one

 Ouh I likeeeeeeeeee this idea - send in CW to check out the mothers.....

 Brilliant! 

I wonder if CW would mind popping round to check on Tami´s mum - he has been telling the harem she is unwell

As my class is over very early in the mornings, I am willing to take an evening class of mixed sex Synchronised Nude Swimming (Olympic Standard) if anyone is interested

(Just bring yourself....and a towel)

 ha ha.....   that you have got to ´you tube ´

It is US time!!!

A clarification: Eastern Standard Time..

Is she as angry as Tami though? I think I might need a security team when I go there.. especially when Tami gets his rifle..

Muhahahahah ... This is a great idea, I think we might even charge for this class!! I want 80% of the income for the medical consultation and we have a deal.

 I am happy to act as your agent on this occasion CW - usual commission rates apply...

Canim, this time it will be 5% of my income, plus free check-up on Tami´s mother (with proper security of course) -- these are difficult times!!

My building a trap classes were over subscribed and we ended up with two classes:

How to build a trap

How to dig a hole (big enough!)

Birdy, did you consider the "how to use a liar detector" classes?  I think they might be quite popular according the pupils I had today.............

 Don`t worry, I will use my sniper rifle just for those males who attend AE`s class.

 Additional classes  are coming-

24/7

Laundramma classes-,moved to translation department,( intitiated by femme, who is now on TC doctor’s leave due to problems with vocal cords )run by substitute, available translators.

Note

Lecturers willing to take this class will get 5%salary rate more since working conditions are exhausting  in this busy,overcrowded and noisy place

12-13.30

Economy classes for new members of TC living on a shoe string due to laptops,mobiles,visas,operations,etc requests

Planning budget included plus business plan how not to go bunkrupt

Teacher’s post vacant,classes lead by AE temporarily in her swimming breaks-an experienced teacher in  bargaining and running any kind of bussiness

Application should be sent to birdy via secretary’s office.

13.45-14.30

 Strong will training by alex de suza-here you will learn how to restrain “dirty mind” during contemplation and deep meditation time.Morphine and chill out music supplied by mods.

No winking permitted!

14.45-15.30

UnSuccessful spam writing workshop-this class is devoted for all unsuccessful spammers

Please bring your own writing pad,copies of  templates will be delivered for free

Class run by…….(the list of teachers available in deleted users section-the key word is spam)

15.40-16.25

Turkish slight slang classes by armegon-intermediate level pupils invited.

Don’t forget your dictionaries and revise all you have learnt so far.Test is coming!!!

Wimps are not allowed Slang mantras obligatory.

16.35-17.20

Physics classes with the special focus on the  construction of  a liar detector led by LL

No dim light allowed,take out your lenses and glasses and be prepared for gentle questions

Learn by heart your set of reliable lies –cheating leads to suspension.

Nivea fresh active roll ons will be distributed before,in and after class.

18-19.00

Technical classes by tinababy-short introduction how to open a bottle without a screwdriver and  not  to lose sense of humour.In case short presentation may suddenly change into long,

Pls open your bottles secretly before coming to class 

19.15-20.00

Camouflage  classes by birdy-only for members with good sense of humour and self-criticism

Big choice of nicknames,languages and  active methods of how not to get bored with TC provided

 ATTENTION

20.10-5.50

New classes by Tami

Defence class with judo,karate, and sniper shooting.All harem members and candidates”s attendance compulsory except dabrowskis( arming them will be TC suicide)

Note

Secretary’s office announces on behalf of birdy more classes,workshops,lectures and seminars to be prepared.  All teachers and pupils’s suggestions of optional classes and compulsory ones  are being taken into consideration .

Teachers of particular subjects are politely asked to prepare syllabusses and placement tests.

Thank you. 

 Birdy you are brilliant!!!!

I would like to sign up for the Strong Will Classes and the Turkish Slight Slang.  I am also very intested in the Camoflage Classes It appears I have no option but to attend the Defence Class ...

sign me up!!

 I want to sign up ,my spelling becomes worse and worsebut pls,teacher,pls,ama cok ama do not make me  sit at the same desk with tami or theh.

 They always like to sit next to eachother I think

I would be willing to teach this class..I could use the extra money,but only if I get an extra 20%...Oh and no children allowed, unless your bring enough snacks and coloring books to keep them occupied.  This could become a potential safety hazard, so you must sign a waiver..

Birdy, not that I am complaining, but you didn´t make it clear enough that my lecture on Polish Vices actually was a vodka-drinking experience! That accounts for the poor turn-up. Tami wanted to join but he´s underage so I couldn´t have let him in. The result is I was there on my own, got totally wasted and now suffer from a massive hangover!

Where´s the strong will class? I desperately need it.

BTW I did want to sign up for the shooting and self-defence class but it seems we have a case of Dąbrowkisism here! (Should I confess at this point that I used to be a regional junior champion in military training rifle shooting?)

 Perhaps we could join forces on this being a pretty hot shot with a 2.2 rifle myself

 OMG TC Snipers?!?!!!!

Ermmm have I told you both lately that you are my favourite TC members? ....

No one showed up for the Laundramma class...  Come on people don´t leave me alone in the heat....get all the good dirt here...it will be loads of fun!  Birdy...I still expect a show up percent...

 teas..why you are so greedy?most of teachers here are volunteers...you could do voluntary work as a decent American..you evil one!!!!

show up with more classes are coming soon,I just need to observe TLC a bit..give me more time)))

Volunteer my as_!!!! You said I would receive 5% more on my salary rate!  We had an agreement..now you think I should just volunteer my precious time..

Regular negotiating classes are announced on Tuesday 22-22.45 CET by teaschip.

here you can learn how to care about YOUR business and not to make loss.

Make sure you have some cash in your pockets as a teacher is tough and not willing to work for free.

Tami defence class ´s attendants  should get  obligatory written permission from the lecturer .

I will be teaching a class on the origin of the Turkish alphabet.  I don´t know ANYTHING about it but we can sit in the lounge and argue about it for a few days.  We will also be talking about how the ridiculous Chinese writing is and how unfair it is that all those ethnic groups in China must learn it!  While we are at it....lets pick on the Russians too.....stupid alphabet they have....etc.....our subtopic will be "the world needs to speak English, because it is more convenient for ME!"

 if 4 free....done!!!!

 Oh, I can´t wait for this class...sign me up! 

Sounds like a controversial class!! Looking forward to all the fights..

 It´s all Greek to me

Being serious now,

can we spend several days (in the translation lounge drinking copious amounts of alcohol) arguing the pros and cons of use of those silly little dots above letters

and

can we discuss why the French let you speak to them in French then answer back in English??

Or would these have to be separate lessons?

I am ready and willing to sign up for THAT class!

 Oh i have the longest hour

 Then you may want to attend my class to learn some negotiating techniques.    I bet your a volunteer as well....

 well i can also take some extra hours from you aswell hehehe

 I will come if I can wear my 1980´s purple and pink shell suit  

 You are copying my style again!

 Ahhh but do you have an affro........  .............. and sweat bands

Lectures and a couple of seminars on belly button by ManDingo will be held soon.If you are interested in signing up and have nothing else to do,check if you have a belly button first!!!!

Bringing a partner of opposite sex compulsory ,checking if the partner is not your sibling can be done for free at Alpha´s lab,only those who receive not being siblings certificate will be enrolled in the name of purity of the race and social norms to avoid provocative incest and mental retardation

Cooking classes are coming on Tuesdays  run by our devoted porridge vel oatmeal TLC cooks.

All you need is to know difference between American and British English,own set of pots and pans and extreme will to learn this forgotten art of cooking.Variety of recipes for simple and tasty dishes provided from different countries including czernina from Dąbrowski land

The classes are the must for hayvanherrif to lift the spirit of lecturers and make them put some spices into recipes.The cooks also need a volunteer to try all meals

Fairy tale writing classes by armegon is another option you can choose escaping from the heat of TLC kitchen-all you need to enroll is a bit of writing skills,imagination and creativity.Writing pads provided in off topic section,best students will be awarded "The best TLC story teller" Yilgun´s list award.

 BREAKÝNG NEWS!!!!

 ManDingo is preparing an urine therapy seminar !

 I don´t think there will be enough interested participants for this one. 

The exam at the end will be 

as Tc seems to be skipping classes nowadays and play truant the new classses are announced to stop this rideculous practice

Porno scientific based ones with alex de souza and rocco siffredi as lecturers.Held at wish of attendants and quality of films provided by lecturers.

do not get overexcited as lecturers so far have not had anything to offer!

English native by nifritity and turkishcobra-sonunda and lir excluded as they do not live in Cairo.did not take 7 hour long exam and..what a shame!!!do not have any grasp of native English so popular in other countries.

the rest of attendants need patience and will to posses native abilities within a span...sorry..within one TLC session.

Religious festivals by elenagabriela,where you can differentiate St Andrew from St Nicolas cheerfully singing Xmas carols to come!

All you need is to be a bit religious!!

Let bygones be bygones classes by theAenigma,who dreams about old good TC times.Classes supported by Sui who appears to be in the same mood

Shop till you drop -classes by ETT,a virtual tour around Istanbul malls while in Istanbul

those who register should take everything for granted,leave purses at home and release imagination

List writing classes by Yilgun-for those who haven´t learnt it so far and still have some doubts

persistency in becoming a moderator led by theJanisarry-here you can learn the true meaning of the word"strong will" and "stubborness"

how to avoid being logged to Tc 24 hours-classes by ReyhanL and our lost but unforgettable babyglam who finally got enlightened and found the light in the Tc tunnel and is at large now...hmmmmmm....what can bring her back

why not in forum light complaint classes by AlphaF-attendants seen with a glass of Crianza or Merlot and decent Turkish origin,those who do not drink can take Sila´s music session.

barba_mama-advice classes

boris bonanzi substitute classes on Turkish character and rice...those who have no idea what I am talking about should search in Tc and get laugh,laugh,laugh!!!!!!!!!!))))))))))

As you see TC offers variety of topics soo go onnnnnnnnnn!!!Enjoy it!!

Aww birdie, now that you´re back, we´ll finally start learning here again.

 You are back!!!!!!!! Thank god!!!

Back for good ? 

 Belkicünku  ben bir göçmen kuşum

Birdy has the pleasure to announce new classes coming

Singular,plural and third person solving mystery of TLC"WE"usage

The classes will be divided to different sections depending on how much plural "WE" attendants feel,how much royal"WE´ or how much "THE WE"

AS there is a massive flow of lecturers application forms the main lecturer will be chosen via competition-How much WE is in YOU .All"WE" will be taken into consideration.

Birdy opts for  armegon´s WE Turks but final vote belongs to users.

Turkish free online classes for Black Sea dialect users-with responsible and"loose"lecturer ReyhanL.Here all participants can be secure about time and safety.The lecturer is available almost all the time so no threat of cancelling classes.

  - Love it!

Boy so many classes to choose from...I don´t know where to begin. Hmm porno or religion...

Urgent "I don´t know"classes with alwaysjuliet who seem to arrive from outer space

here all participants will take the role of lecturer to provide basic infos on harems,poligamy,greetings,welcoming Turkish families,customs ,bans,Turkishness,etc,etc,etc...

Lis´s manuals -a must!!!!rest additional,depending how fast absorbing goes......

I have a formal complaint, I went to the porn class but apart from Catwoman who came there with rotten tomatos and eggs, nobody showed up

Can you find me an equally entertaining class, pretty pretty please?

How about a dancing class or a coloring class for you canim, eh?

 Since kitty shows up at all the porn classes with rotten veggies and eggs to throw, we will be watching "Mating Habits of Bees on the Serengeti."  It is the closest we can get to porn without raising her suspicions. 

As an added treat, I will be serving popcorn. 

 Porncorn ?

due to massive riots  spotted in Alameda´s neighbourhood and increase in sales at rotten veggies market Birdy annnounces that all p****n classes are cancelled.Sorry DD and teas 

 I told her to stay away from those cucumbers..

Due to constant complaints about bordom at TLC Birdy offers new classes to deal with this situation.Since classes are under construction all opinions and suggestions warmly welcomed

1My Most Exciting Moment at TLC board
2. Funniest TC Memory
3. A Time I Got Caught
4. How to Flunk Out of TLC
5. What Not to Say on a TLC board
6. What Not to Wear at TLC
7. Unbelievable but True!
8. Members Behaving Badly
9. Why Good Girls Love Bad Boys and why these boys are predominantly Turkish
10. Unhappily Ever After
11. Caught in a Compromising  chat room Position
12. Tales From Scribbles on the Bathroom Wall( not sure if we have bathroom here)
13. How to Kill Your guts and lose your imagination
14. How to Lose the Spammer of Your Dreams
15. An Idiot´s Guide to Cooking and testing whatever can be tested
16. Get Rich Quick claiming  gifts step by step
17. Out of the golden Mouth of TLC gurus
18. My 15 Minutes of Misspelling
19. Talk Shows: Airing Our Dirty Laundry along with other bla bla bla

20.Moderators-role models for TLC youth

birdy has the pleasure to announce that teaching staff has a new member-Yersu, who will run classes on How to handle a Turk.

All interested in taking part need

1.a Turk,if you don´t have at least one yet pls don´t worry-still some spammers around

2 English as a side effect

3.circumcision..ahhh..this teacher!!!no complaints!!!we must all like what we have..choice as you noticed is limited.

All students are asked to behave due to shortage of teachers.You guys simply scary all.!!!!

Ptaszek; I don´t know if that is irony and you are trying to imply I am a weird individual but I assure you, I am the average Turkish person.

If an average Turkish person had learnt some English beyond "your eyes is beuty" and if he had a little knowledge of the stuff going on outside of Turkish borders, you would have hundreds of Yersu´s running around in the forums. Now from time to time, I see some individuals who seem to have embraced the European style of thinking. Most of them are self haters, let me sum up what they are trying to say: "Hey lookie here I am not backwards! We, Turks are European too you know? Oh please please accept me ". Don´t let such exceptional cases fool you. Majority of Turks are not like that, they just don´t know how to troll forums.

We just want acceptance as the people we are, not if we comply with the western standards. So it makes me feel really sad, as if I was a delirious person or something, when people find my thoughts outright weird or ridiculous. Because it sure isn´t weird for me or for the people around me!

Anyway, as I am Turkishness incarnate, I think I would really be a good teacher for such a class.

hmmmm....

this post is sooooooooo blinkin suspicious.

turkishness incarnate?

tellin you theres something here.

 I want to enroll for these...or is there a class maximum? I guess my top class would be 16, Get rich quick! I know the gift claiming process, but only for guys... how to claim gift as a GIRL, that´s what I need to know!

Uhm, like what?

I´m having troubles figuring out who is who anymore...

You still DO know who you are, I hope?

I am still myself! Or am I really?

Are you sure? 

exactly - am I?

I think tomorrow we´ll have a spelling test. Get your pens and paper ready.

Can I already tell you that I will be ill tomorrow?

In that case I will need a sick note from your doctor.   

That´s not possible here. No doctor will do so. (Yippeeeeeeeee)

 Are you kidding?  Of course NOT!  I quit trying to analyze myself along time ago, I have enough people that do that for me.

Guided tour to Istanbul classes by Sui Generis start every morning in Gulhane park despite the weather.The only requirements are

1.    the will to discover and taste

2.    a lot of free time

3.    similar music taste-forget Lady zGaga

4.    good shoes as walking a lot included

5.    a bit of romanticism (Kiz Kulesi)

6.    being a bit sweet tooth(kunefe)

7.    not being sea sick(ferry journeys)

Virginity or lack of it is not a qualification at all as lecturer is willing to get closer to any pressumed student.

Note-upsy daisy allowed to participate in  classes in executioner’s uniform and “they can do”TLC penalty code

Raindrops must take anti nargile protection mask in case of smelling it

Organisers hope that above classes under no circumstances will collide with virginity ones which are under construction.

Thank you

birdy)

 hope this lesson will stay till summer time....

can i  anticipating it in summer course too dear ptaszku?

hope SUi wont easy give up with guiding

 depends on the lecturer, and students enrolled,

you know we have shortage of lecturers at the moment luckily no problem with students.)

 tmm so i will stay in touch

i bet lecturer wont agree he is a bit lazy lately

 Don´t worry,there will be optional classes coming soon))birdy must examine TC a bit,she has backlogs due to the lack of free time.Greetings)

after short time of suspension regular classes come back into being..birdy has the pleasure to announce"you have me all!!!!"classes by paglaccio looking for his romantic,devoted and not hairy Columbine.

All applicants must go under"will you marry me test" and show a lot of patience as the lecturer does not show with engagement ring along with marry me declaration.Moreover,as the lecturer ego boosts applicants will go under "who is better at curbing me"test as well.

In addition,the exam on romanticism and hair dislike will be held to make sure Columbine chosen one is the proper one.

In order to be prepared to take these classes birdy suggests additional courses by yakamoz-how to avoid religious clashes between pagli and the rest of the world,barba´s-how to bid not bidding.amber´s -how to be compatible with all men and women the best in bi-sexual way with besito para todo el mundo and elenagabriela-finally alone with no mother´s support.

All applicants are advised to make proper testimonials on pagli profile..

foka-your mock exam was badly performed,gg´s as well.Correct this girls as you will be excluded from classes due to not fulfilling the requirments!

thank you-birdy

 ok teacher...i`ll try to correct quickly

old pagliaccio - let´s arrange the wedding ceremony for no later than tomorrow!

freshed, civilized, a-bit-more-human, a bit elegant paggliacio - this is my msn: a_creature@msn.com. Add me.

Hahahaha!!... Foka, you are killing me at this time of the night!...

 always welcome Pagliacco

What a shame .

I thought it was quite funny .

 it was but barba, lemon, theh and janis would not show the same amount of humour you havemelegim tamikidakika would