And you made sure this poster was going to be involved in a bazillion and one arguments.   Of course forced marriages should not be allowed, especially with very young girls involved but it is not only a Turkish problem. It happens in many countries including Britain. I have never been to eastern Turkey so I don´t know enough about the situation there.

Fine, I shall repeat no more. Instead, I went through the trouble and collected a few of your posts in the past. All from your archive - check it if you please. You can clearly see, it is NOT my opinion that you advocate arranged marriages - it is your own words

Raindrops:

so most of pre-arranged marriages are happy?

Alameda:It does seem to be that way. The actual state of marriage is held in high esteem.  Rather than looking to "fall in love" and maybe get married, the process is to find a compatable mate and work on being loveable......or working to inspire love in one´s mate.

Alameda: Doesn´t it occour to you the compatability of the whole group is an issue?  You paint such a dreary picture.  Just how many arranged marriages are you familiar with? In these type societies the health of the whole family unit is of primary importance.

Alameda: I don´t know how many "arranged marriages" you have observed at close range, but from my observation, most actually work out pretty well.

Alameda: In many cultures marriageable youth do not date, thus the opportunities to "fall in love" are minimized.  That is not really such a bad idea.

Alameda: Well the fact is most arranged marriages work out quite well. Given the state of marriage in the West, I really don´t think you have anything to talk about. You really don´t understand the process, so you think it´s horrible. The fact of the matter the West is actually starting to change and we now see a proliferation of match making services and sites.

AEnigma to Alameda: "You now write three paragraphs about having a soulmate and being loved and needing a mate. However, the last time we discussed marriage you were saying that you should not marry for love, but for family compatibility and having shared culture and interests - in fact, advocating arranged marriages! "

Alameda: In Western cultures, marriages are not particularly successful. Add to that mixture the children of failed marriages and the whole thing looks even bleaker. .

Alameda: The idea of marriage centered on only a couple in "love" is not really the best foundation on which to build a marriage. Traditional marriages have been ones where one expects to become in love after marriage, not before.

If DD didn´t insult Alameda and her ecury thehandsom didnt insisted on that insult, we wouldnt have to say those words.

Why do you all go mad when somebody answers you in the way you deserve?

I and many people in that site like me don´t attack people. Always you do! Although you feed with coflicts, you can´t attack anyone you want! And if you do, get ready to the answers to that attack!

That seems to be true dear lemon....however it seems your opinion has changed.

You know groups can be manipulated into thinking things if they are told to think a certain way. If you tell a lie enough, people believe it´s true. When DD and H say I have said such and such...it creates the idea I have....when I have not. I think DD actually thinks I do, the H...who knows? It is subtle, but it works, knowing about such techniques helps.

The fact of the matter is I don´t support anybody being forced into marriage. However, there are advantages to having help with these things....as long as the ultimate participants agree.

I know there are situations where there is force by coercion....and that is a powerful force...which is, as you say, forced. Of course I don´t condone such things....and I have NEVER said I do. IF someone misunderstood what I said, I´m sorry, but there also have to be some responsibilty for actually carefully reading things before making such statements.

As for the East, patience...and perserverance.....

have you not really? Please read my post No 111 - it´s all your quotes. Trying hard as I might, I couldn´t see you NOT praising the benefits of arranged marriages.

So, was it me insulting you by suggesting you think arranged is better than not-arranged? Really? Or did i just tell the truth, basing on our previous discussions?

I have the impression that you think these poor girls in arranged marriages are happy. Just because the marriages work so well in your opinion. Isn´t that what you wrote? So, how come it is suddenly me who distorts the truth?

Why dont you go and read all the posts in this thread..

Yes...Oince was rude and so as Vineyards..

Do you not see them?

And I am still not answering them..

But there is always a limit to everybody´s patience as we all know..

You are again lier as always. You don´t answer? You were the one who just writes and writes and writes and writes 3 pages of answers yesterday night. And I was the one who said, shut up, go away, i dont want to talk to you, stop etc.

I won´t be quite. Come with all your enemies. Nothing gets away with you!

 Let me refresh you on what was being discussed...that you claim I encourage...

"Women in Eastern Turkie cannot marry men they want.

According to a survey among 1401 women in eastern and souther-eastern Turkie by KAMER (Women association center) there are some interesting (or shocking) results:
43% is forced to marry before they are under 18, of those 74% are married according to the agreement between the families and 6.6% unwilingly forced to marry.
24.6% those who are married between 13-15 years of age
22.1% those who are married between 16-17 years of age
1.2% those who are married under 12"

Where have I ever said I approve of forced marriage under any conditions, and particularly these?

While I may approve of arranged marriage, of course if done well, never have I said I approve of forced or coerced marriage......and I still challenge you to reveal just how many arranged marriages do you really have any real life experience with?

Where have I said you approve of forced marriages?

I said you´d come to advocate ARRANGED MARRIAGES.

Although, I do admit, and stick by it, I made it clear that in many cases even if the marriages are consensual, it´s hard to consider them a marriage of choice, as the girls have no other option (and you basically agree saying that in some cultures people don´t date).

So, I think I proved my point that you think arranged marriages are wonderful - you agree with that, don´t you?

Now we can debate if ARRANGED may be considered FORCED as it´s the only option

I will never be quite agains injustice!