I just came back to USA from visiting my boyfriend in Antalya and Istanbul. He wants so much to marry me, but his father is so angry, and says he will not give permission for his son to marry me and the only reason is because i am American. We are 28 years old, so what the heck is this all about that being adults we would need his father´s permission?

My boyfriend and I are heartbroken, because his father has never met me, but does not want his son going to USA. that would take time anyway due to marriage visas needed. I would gladly live in Turkey as long as my boyfriend and i can be together.

My boyfriend never wants to upset his father, and says well, if he left and married me, his family would not speak to him ever again. Just to please be patient and he will talk with his father more.

This is tearing us up so much. Especially since I am learning turkish, and i am a good, repectable woman, who does not deserve this pain and heartbreak.
Hope no one has to deal with this heartbreak like me.

 i am so sorry actually i had similar experience with my turkish family but after they met me and my boyfriend didnt change his mind about our relations, i arrived to Turkey and they needed to accept me, as they needed to choose - lose son or not.For now our relations are perfect - even better than i had ever with my own parents.Maybe try to find some chance to meet them and try to prove that their son will be happy with you good luck!

Mnemr I know very well what you are passing through, parents always wants the best for their sons but sometimes they can be soooo blind ... be strong and very patient. I wish you all the best!  Iyi şanslar!!!

 Hopefully your boyfriend will be man enough to stand up to his parents and make the decision that is right for him.  If his family will never speak to him again because he marries you, oh well consider it their loss.  Doesn´t sound like a family I would want to be part of anyhow.

Dear Heartbroken: my heart goes out to you! Is your boyfriend financially dependend on his father? Is your boyfriend´s income sufficient to support you? You did not mentioned the opinion of your boyfriend´s Mother and siblings. They should all meet you before they judge you.

Best of luck! Hang in there!

İts not just a financial matter Ros,its about respect and family ties there

Even in the Stats,from what i hear,its much better to have parents approval too

So maybe when she go there and meet her,and see how their son is happy with her,they will welcome their union.

Thanks everyone that posted.

I did not get a chance to meet the family.  After Eren was called home to deal with his father, i decided to go back to USA.  Eren´s older sister is ok about me now, but he is still facing problems with his mom, but mostly his dad.

He does work, but he has a debt to the bank to pay off before we would make engagement for marriage.  I work, and have savings to live there until his visa would be ready if he wanted me to.  It is all about not going against his father.  I do not know if he will be man enough to stand up to his father. He is so angry right now  for the control his father has on him.  He says he will speak again to his father, and said he will make a decision, will I wait him yes or no.  Of course I said yes, because he is my heart, love, and life.

I am learning the language, and doing everything he asks of me.  We made plans to open a cafe already.  Everything to be successful and to show his family we are happy and can make  good life.

I feel in the next few days that he is going to chose to honor his father, even if it means he will never get to be with me.  He was crying on cam last  night saying 1 hand there is me and him, but on the other hand is mom and dad pressuring him.

Heartbroken in Oregon    

that is so  sad, i hope he can persuade his parents really........

How old is he?

he is 28.

How long must i endure the silent treatment.  He now does not answer my sms, to know if he is ok and what decision he has made to continue a relationship with me.  He fears his father, and i have never met his family, so i just want to know if this pain and heartbreak is worth the wait.  2 days ago he asked me to give him time to again speak to his father and will i wait for him.

Of course i said yes, but now I do not know what is going on, as he will not answer my sms because he said if he does not answer it is because he is not alone. He has to beg to leave the home.  I guess he is not ready to become a man.

Oh I hate this!!!!

As you know, I am all to well aware of the situation with this. I can tell you this, the wait can become lengthy if you agree to keep waiting on talks with his father, It just may never even happen that he has the strength to have a conversation with his father.

You need to set a time limit on how long you will wait and stick to it. I have to wonder though with him having talks with other girls and things if it´s even worth a short wait.

I do wish you the best, but urge you to not waste a good chunk of your life in this, you are young and even though 28 years old makes you an adult, they still see him as "their son" and might not be willing to accept that he is able to make his own decisions. Don´t be a "me".