Yasin Topaloðlu (25), who lives in the town of Hopa near Artvin and has already lost three siblings to kidney failure, is experiencing the disappointment of a lifetime: His father will not donate his kidney to him, despite the fact that the two men are a biological match.  Topaloðlu, whose kidneys both stopped functioning about five years ago, has been receiving treatment at the Trabzon Training and Research Hospital for the past two months. Topaloðlu has already lost two brothers and one sister to malfunctioning kidneys, and doctors recently decided that a kidney transplant was also necessary for him.

After doctors made clear the necessity of a kidney transplant for Topaloðlu, his father, Ali Topaloðlu, who had separated from his mother 10 years ago and since remarried and had two other children, went through the necessary blood tests to find out whether his kidney would be a match for his son. But while Ali Topaloðlu initially accepted the idea of kidney donation to his son, he later changed his mind.

And now Yasin Topaloðlu, who undergoes kidney dialysis three times a week, is experiencing deep frustration and disappointment with his father´s decision. "Well, despite everything, he is my father. I can´t get angry with him," Yasin Topaloðlu said in a statement to the Anatolia news agency. "All I really want from my father is that he contribute to my life span."

Topaloðlu, noting that he had a girlfriend with whom he had already made marriage plans, said: "My girlfriend´s father told me, ´I don´t have a daughter to just give to someone with kidney disease.´ And so I was crushed once more. I want someone to help me. Please, let someone hear my cries for help. I want to live."

Yasin Topaloðlu´s mother, Nilgün Erdoðan, talked about the difficulty of watching her own child in this situation. "In these difficult times, I try to be by his side. It is very difficult for him at this age, to try and live his life while being hooked up to dialysis," she said. "From a financial perspective, we do not have the money to pay for a kidney. His father´s kidney would be a match, but they made a family decision not to donate. I tried to convince his father, but it didn´t work. As it is, I have already lost three children to kidney failure. This is a very tough situation. If only my body matched the transplant conditions, I would give my own kidney without hesitating."   

More: http://www.todayszaman.com/tz-web/detaylar.do?load=detay&link=161528

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Poor son!

This is a sad story. I work with kidney transplant patients and know what an amazing difference a transplant can make to their lives. In the UK we have a very active transplant programme but sadly there is a 40% refusal rate from families asked to donate organs. Presently in the UK there are more than 8000 people waiting for a transplant. I know Turkey are tryin to raise the profile of donation and transplantation so that people in this man´s postion will have a better chance of getting a kidney form someone who has died. This is the only option if family members cannot or will not donate.

For more information go to

www.uktransplant.org.uk 

I know of a family whose younger son had a kidney transplant then the older son had kidney failure and that father donated one of his kidneys to that son. (In the UK)

I am an advocate of organ donation and am on the donation register.  It is the wish of my family also that anything of any use can be used if we die in circumstances whereby this can happen.

What if I die and my kidney is transplanted into femme

I dont think it will matter to you since you wont be around..

But what if you get a kidney from femme and then you live rest of your life knowing that ´some part of femme is in you´?

Q: Is there a donor registration system in Turkey? If so, is it like the Belgium one (if you don´t object officially, you are a donor) or like the Dutch one (you have to apply yourself to the system)?

 What if??  I am sure her children would be very happy and you would be their hero....That should make you just a little happy!

A friend of mine donated a kidney to her sister. While it was not an easy process and the recovery was difficult for her, she says she would go through it over and over again to save her sister’s life.

Before I went into Human Resources, I was a recruiter for the National Marrow Donor Program. I worked with patients in need of a bone marrow transplant, holding registry drives to get more people involved in the program and commit to saving lives.  I became very close to the patients I worked with, many of them, young children.

Although the work was incredibly rewarding, it became increasingly difficult to watch my patients die, which all but one did. The reality of the situation is that there are not enough people who are willing to step up and help out….even when it is for a family member.

 Wow...what a coincidence.  I used to work for the National Marrow Donor Program in my area!  I would work at the Bone Marrow Drives and collect blood samples from prospective donors!  Maybe we know eachother!!!

 Seriously!?!?!?  Were you working through a blood bank?

 Thank God, there is always the euthonasia option...

 If this should be funny, I wonder where your sense of humour is - somewhere in the garbidge bin I suppose. What an awful thing to say!

 I agree - this subject is a bit too serious to start ´joking´ about.

 I must be in the bin too, I got a chuckle out of it

 Yes...I worked for the Rhode Island Blood Bank!

 Are you teaching me manners? Who do you think you are? Never knew this was a Catholic college. Are we supposed to rise to our feet when you are around too?

 yes this is a serious subject. But it is always important to have a sense of humour. AND everyone´s sense of humour is different!! Made me smile anyway.

By the way it´s "euthanasia"

Teaching you manners, Vineyards? No, I don´t have years time to accomplish that. Just pointing you at the fact not to whine about insults when you are a master-insulter yourself.

Oh yeah?

 Small world!!!  Blood banking is such a unique niche, I don´t come across many people on the outside who work, or have worked at them.  

 HoHo!  I worked at one too!  But I was in the purchasing section and seconded to the blood bank at Addenbrookes in Cambridge, UK not Massetusets (or how ever it is spelt) hehe

 I know it sounds harsh, but I prefer to keep all my body parts. I might donate to a relative or loved one a part I could live without, but I have no desire for any part of my body be taken out after I die. I prefer to be buried whole.

I think we are in a dangerous territory where bodies have become commodoties where the parts are used for a lucrative trade in body parts.

Why isn´t more R&D done on artificial parts? Anyway, it´s something to think about.

Would you accept a part from a dead person if it could save your life? To me it´s simple: don´t want to be a donor? Great, than no transplants as well.

 very black and white. If only life were like that! Life makes you take decisions you previously thought you wouldn´t, but everybody´s judgements and opinions are coloured by life´s experiences. Maybe we shouldn´t be so quick to judge??

One of the difficulties faced in encouraging people to join the marrow registry is the hurdle of cultural beliefs. I was in charge of recruiting Native Americans and they believe that donating blood, tissue or organs keeps their soul from moving on after death. It was a challenge. The numbers of Native donors on the registry is abysmal…….meaning someone who is Native and needs a transplant has incredibly low odds of finding a matching donor. 

It takes a lot of educating about the need for marrow donors within certain ethnic groups.  It is quite a balancing act to respect their beliefs but at at the same time, try to make them understand the need. 

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and to make their own decisions. Just tell your family what that decision is - it makes it so much easier when families know what your decision would have been.

 No, I would not want a body part from a dead person, even if it could save my life.....but I also would not want any part of my body stolen like happened to Alistair Cook without permission....

"reports that a body-snatching ring, operating illegally to sell tissue for use in transplants, managed to obtain and distribute the bones of famed British broadcaster Alistair Cook after his death in 2004. Bill Sherman of the Daily News fills Madeleine Brand in on a bizarre story."

The problem with this is that sometimes families are not in tune with the decision, even if they know it is what the deceased wanted.  If it is something you feel strongly about you should have your wishes in writing to ensure they are followed.

 heck with such idiot father! but according to traditions the poor boy must respect him, even if hes such a piece of shit.

 I totally agree with you.  It is personal and people should not be judged because of the decisions they make in life or when their life ends.  That is one reason why the law in the UK did not change recently about donating organs etc.  It was considered that there should be an "opt out" rather than and "opt in" when a person dies in circumstances whereby organs can be donated.  The "opt out" would mean that doctors make the choice not the patients relatives.  I would prefer to make my own decisions about my family and not some stranger. 

I would not balk at the idea of organ or blood donation but I would never condem anyone who did not agree, as I have a very good friend who is a Jehovah Witness and I would no hold that against them even if I did not understand their logic.

 alameda nobody forces you to do something good for others. take your body to earth and rotten it useless. theres no such law to force anyone to donate. its just a good will.

There are pros and cons of this whole thing too. Think of it as a highly profitable business the hot commodity of which is the human body and its parts. All sorts of abuses are possible. There are people whose kidneys were stolen or those who were forced to sell theirs either by force or through trickery or those who sold their organs to feed their families. This trade is done among three parties donors, doctors and receiving patients. In many cases the middle chain is also the corrupt chain with certain doctors and their accomplices accomplish this through illegal methods.

It is just an assumption to say that a dead body belongs to another entity such as the family of the deceased, the government or the medical organization hence it is in their authority to decide what to do with it. When you assume that you are disregarding so many personal rights. Furthermore, you are probably a very simple-minded person who doesn´t care about the subtleties of human life that is why you see nothing wrong in reducing this highly complicated matter that affects many people into a simple Boolean Equation. 

If you are thick as brick an organ transplantation will not change anything.

 then you are a double brick if you cant donate your kidney to your child. end of story!

folks, what for do you need your body after you die? are you going to use it in afterlife?

I was not specifically referring to you there but of course, you couldn´t help saying "me too". 

I did not say anything about my personal decisions in this matter. I would donate my entire body after death (I haven´t done anything about it yet) and I would certainly donate any of my organs to my son including the vital ones.

 Absolutely nothing!  Only good for the maggots or the oven. And there is no afterlife.

 that sounds better now

Ditto. There is no afterlife.

 oh dear dear, this you cant proove.

That may be a ridiculous assumption but we have never built millions of churches to support that absurd assumption.

 Actually you can, how many people do you know that are afterlife people? I know none!

 i just dont know what do churches have to do with this topic?

who "we" ? that built millions of churches?

there arent millions of churches on this planet, or are there?

sometimes im afraid of you, you go out of logics into some alien space

It is a fathers decision and his right to choose. I like when people respects my decýsýons despýte anythýng so ý respect thýs fathers decýsýon also. No need to blame anyone.

I find it extremely hard to even imagine how any parent could refuse to donate a kidney to save his/her child´s life.  The father´s ´right to choose´ has probably condemned his son to death.  Most parents wouldn´t think twice about doing something like this - they would just be so happy and grateful that they were able to do this for their child.   The only possible excuse I can see is that this man has two families and younger children and maybe he was heavily influenced by his new wife. 

 i hardly find this an excuse. how could a kidney influence on his second marriage?  

I meant that his current wife may have put a lot of pressure on him not to do it because she was scared it would be dangerous for him, he might possibly die and then HER children would be left without a father.

 then how him and his wife are gonna live a normal life after such decision? sorry, the question is not directly to you. im just shocked that people exaggerate with respect and tolerance.

I have to agree with Femme here..I find this man to be a very selfish person.  I don´t even like to see my own son sick...would rather be sick myself.  This for me would not be a difficult question when it comes to saving your childs life.  It´s hard to understand why any parent would refuse to do this under any cicumstances if it meant the possiblity to save their kid.  All that comes to my mind is he is a selfish..self absorbed coward.

That is the extent which we can go when describing a father like him : "I find this man to be a very selfish person.."  With all due respect, many of us still think that we live in an ideal world full of decent people. In fact, it is far from being like that. Like the heroes and heroins of both fiction and history there are egoist, sadist, misagonist, misanthropic and mazochistic people in addition to perverts, criminals, murderers, baby rapists (source recent news) and you name it.

In other words, people may surprize you anytime, anywhere. You´d better be prepared.

Now anyone of you wishing to drink a bottle of wine with me in the middle of the night?

 It says in the article that he consulted with his brothers, the uncles of this boy, and they advised him that he should not do it, and that he should consider his new family of young children and also his age ( 60 ).  So I think some blame for this mans apparent selfishness should be apportioned to them.

What also struck me was the heartlessness (if this word is so readily being bandied about) of the potential father in law, who did not want his daughter to marry a man with kidney disease.

Ýf the Doctors say its ok for him to go through the operation reagarding his age and health

Then by no mean he is not excused!

His son may die and he do nothing about it and went to  family for advice ?!

what kind of families that it gives desicion such as this ?To let one of its sons die and do nothing about it while they can!

Doesnt deserve to be called family in my opinion!

 I agree. You have a rough tongue femmeous. I can´t understand your intolerance to other people´s opinions??? I was actually commenting on Trudy´s posting about it being a black and white world where someone thinks they would not want to donate their own organs. She asked if they would accept someone elses if need be. I suggest that maybe that person might also question their own decision if a member of their own family needed help. I was trying to say that no-one knows how they will react until the question is asked.

Why so angry and unnecessarily insulting femmeous??

I don´t know, Canli, I think people are being too harsh on this man. Evidently there is a problem with this family, or at least with the offspring of the father and his first wife. All the children have had kidney problems. Three have died from it, and the last one is dying.

The man has other children to take care of, and he is 60 years old. I don´t think the life expectancy in Turkey is that long, in particular in Eastern Turkey where he is from. The age of 60 is not exactly a young vital and vibrant man. Donation of a kidney is a major operatin and quite serious. Kidney donations are usually done from young healthy people, not older people.

"As for Yasin Topaloðlu´s father, Ali Topaloðlu, he notes that despite being divorced from Yasin´s mother, he has turned over much of his pension money to help the mother buy a house and has money taken monthly from his wages to help support his ex-wife and their child.

Noting that he also has two more children from his second marriage, Topaloðlu said: "My children are very young. When the question of whether I should give my kidney to Yasin arose, I went to my brothers to talk about it. They did not look warmly on it. They warned me that my children were still young. As it is, I am already 60 years old. I have lost three children already. I am very saddened by the situation, but my kidney is not going to keep him alive. And if I get sick, there is no one there behind me to support my new family."

In fact, I think it´s outragous this family´s very personal agony has been exposed to the whole world to venture opinions on. Do we know how healthy this man is? What is the prognosis for the man who needs the kidney? This is deeply personal. He does have young children to take care of.

I´m curious as to why there this family has so many kidney probmems. Is it something in the area they grew up, is it genetic?

I also would not want my daughter or son to marry someone with such a dire family health history, and in particular with so many questions as to the cause of the problem unanswered.