So Mltm also misunderstood the whole thing?

Simply because I dont see anything wrong with them. You must prove what you said otherwise this merely proves my point.

i think thats the latest thing to judge another culture's realities or traditions without don't live it and don't know the long historical and social backround,so always better to trying understand reasons of that,other wise everythings more and more complicated..so cultural relationships needs big patiance and tolerance,may be that takes long time but better then to delete everything after a few words..

to live and to be,the best learning methods,to understand really not easy with what you hear or what you read...

okay I AM writing Mltm's points:

1)I know that this tradition still exists, but do not tell that it exists even in the high cultured families, because this is not the case. On the contrary, such things are seen backward by the modern society in Turkey.


correct.

2)It's quite strange because as far as I know in Istanbul traditions there's not such a thing to tie a red color around the belt of the bride.And this sentence 'there wont be any return from your husband' s house to here' is quite backward for real Istanbul descendants or just for any family who has left the village culture behind at least 2 generations before.
you show yourself a victim of these backward traditions, but I'm quite sure that your family would accept you anytime when you want to divorce and they just care about your happiness.


correct.

3)I understand that it's a tradition, but this is just what I'm asking, which tradition is this? This is not definitely an Istanbul tradition. Can you clarify me because this is totally foreign to me as a native of Istanbul.

correct.


4)ut if you still claim that your fmily is well educated, I'd say that "education" is not only university education. If you and they think that everything you do after divorce will bring shame to their family, their mentality is not modern and they are not intellectual.
Whatever the society thinks, the real modern people do not care. This is what modern turkish families including mine thinks. What I oppose is, you use wrong words which shows that even the most modern in Turkey have village mentalities.

correct.


5)when you say small cities in Turkey, there are many cities who are bigger than most of the big cities in Europe. City is another thing, village is another thing. In modern Turkey, primitive village traditions should be eliminated. I respect the culture, but urbanization is another thing. Red ribbon that represents virginity?? If someone says that even the educated and cultured ones in cities do this, I oppose. Which educated? Please. I oppose when a Turk shows that Turkey highly consists of this backward things. She shows that she's "modern" and her family is "higly modern" but she's still a victim. Maybe, she can be a refrugee in another country if she thinks that even the modern in Turkey does this. This Turkey also consists of people who have opposed these things, that's what we call the modern Turkey. I do not look down on any village people, but what I oppose here is quite clear I think.

CORRECT


shortly,

enough is enough.