Quoting Gizli Yuz:

okay I AM writing Mltm's points:

1)I know that this tradition still exists, but do not tell that it exists even in the high cultured families, because this is not the case. On the contrary, such things are seen backward by the modern society in Turkey.


correct.

2)It's quite strange because as far as I know in Istanbul traditions there's not such a thing to tie a red color around the belt of the bride.And this sentence 'there wont be any return from your husband' s house to here' is quite backward for real Istanbul descendants or just for any family who has left the village culture behind at least 2 generations before.
you show yourself a victim of these backward traditions, but I'm quite sure that your family would accept you anytime when you want to divorce and they just care about your happiness.


correct.

3)I understand that it's a tradition, but this is just what I'm asking, which tradition is this? This is not definitely an Istanbul tradition. Can you clarify me because this is totally foreign to me as a native of Istanbul.

correct.


4)ut if you still claim that your fmily is well educated, I'd say that "education" is not only university education. If you and they think that everything you do after divorce will bring shame to their family, their mentality is not modern and they are not intellectual.
Whatever the society thinks, the real modern people do not care. This is what modern turkish families including mine thinks. What I oppose is, you use wrong words which shows that even the most modern in Turkey have village mentalities.

correct.


5)when you say small cities in Turkey, there are many cities who are bigger than most of the big cities in Europe. City is another thing, village is another thing. In modern Turkey, primitive village traditions should be eliminated. I respect the culture, but urbanization is another thing. Red ribbon that represents virginity?? If someone says that even the educated and cultured ones in cities do this, I oppose. Which educated? Please. I oppose when a Turk shows that Turkey highly consists of this backward things. She shows that she's "modern" and her family is "higly modern" but she's still a victim. Maybe, she can be a refrugee in another country if she thinks that even the modern in Turkey does this. This Turkey also consists of people who have opposed these things, that's what we call the modern Turkey. I do not look down on any village people, but what I oppose here is quite clear I think.

CORRECT


shortly,

enough is enough.

Quoting Gizli Yuz:

asli wrote
And mltm yes, my father told me that while he is tying my virginity sign red ribbon on my belt because it was tradition. After that on my 11 years of marriage secretly asked me how am I doing, am I happy, I will always welcome in his house with my two sons if I am not happy. But I am lucky. Lots of girls told this by all means.

mltm my family is living in istanbul over 300 years on both side. My father is an electrical engineer, my mother is a teacher like me and my sister is medical doctor. I think we can count on as educated family on Turkey's conditions.


this is by far the most absurd thing I ever heard.

Quoting karekin04:

The point IS.... maybe it is correct for HER... but she was basically calling Asli a liar, don't you see that??? SO how can it be correct if ASLI is also native of Istanbul with her family residing there for 300+ years!!!! DOnt you get the point??? How hard is it to understand that what Aenigma is saying is..... ASLI shared her story wich surely is FACT so why argue it???? because meltems family is different??? Maybe yours too? who cares it was just asli's experience! No need for your arguement!

Quoting aenigma x:

I am sorry Gizli Yuz, but your posts only proves what a BIG DEAL Meltem has made of Asli's post!!! The fact is, that Asli said that this 'red ribbon' tradition did happen in her family and that yes, they were cultured and educated. Its a fact, so why try to tell her she made a mistake?! It may be rare in Istanbul (or Paris, where Meltem lives ) but the fact is, it happened!

Meltem IS a paradox and contradicts hereself frequently.

QUOTES FROM MELTEM:-

LIBERATED AND LIBERAL...

'Given that I'm one of the most liberal and least patriarchal girls living in Turkey, in my opinion you can never get any support from women that you aim to help. You expect people to change in an instant after telling them 'you are all wrong and all the things you believe are wrong'.
then on another day..
'..anyway I think marriage is not a good association for you at all because marriage is making sacrifices to your man and giving away a bit of your freedom which you consider as weakeness.'

ABOUT TURKEY...

'Maybe, she can be a refrugee in another country if she thinks that even the modern in Turkey does this. This Turkey also consists of people who have opposed these things, that's what we call the modern Turkey.'
but...
'Turkey is a very beautiful country, but it is not a fully developed country, so be aware of the problems (all kinds of)....'

ABOUT VILLAGES..

'I do not look down on any village people'
but
'In modern Turkey, primitive village traditions should be eliminated.... What I oppose is, you use wrong words which shows that even the most modern in Turkey have village mentalities.'

ABOUT ISTANBUL...

'The people and the atmosphere really changes from quarter to quarter. It's a city of contradictions and extremes(poor, rich; ultra religious, ultra liberal) that consists of all kinds of people from all around Turkey. They are the buildings who are very quickly put up without permission by the immigrants that come from other cities. They're usually poor and ugly districts, they should be destroyed'.
but then
'It's quite strange because as far as I know in Istanbul traditions there's not such a thing to tie a red color around the belt of the bride.And this sentence 'there wont be any return from your husband' s house to here' is quite backward for real Istanbul descendants or just for any family who has left the village culture behind at least 2 generations before.
you show yourself a victim of these backward traditions'


Which 'truth' from Meltem are we to believe?

Quoting Gizli Yuz:

There s something strange going on in this thread. I suggest all reasonable Turkish members not to post to this thread from now on. A lot of Turkish haters bashing local people with a sarcastic tone here.

Quoting Gizli Yuz:

okay I AM writing Mltm's points....

Quoting catwoman:

"Turkey bashing"????