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Jokes and riddles
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1.       kafesteki kus
0 posts
 30 Jan 2008 Wed 10:19 pm

Got some but please can you contribute with more????Thanx in advance...
Question: What's a quick way to double your money?
Answer: YOU FOLD IT!

Question: What can run but can't walk?
Answer: Water.

Question: Who sits on babies?
Answer: A babysitter.
Question: What's a car with music coming out of it?
Answer: A cartoon.

Question: Why did the boy sleep with a ruler?
Answer: To see how long he could sleep.

Question: What did one wall say to the other wall?
Answer: Meet you at the corner!
Question: Why is "B' such a lazy letter?
Answer: Because it's always in "BED".

Question: What happened when 500 hares got loose on the main street?
Answer: The police had to comb the area.

Question: Why did the man throw the clock out the window?
Answer: To see time fly!
Question: Why did the pickle stay home from school?
Answer: It felt dill.

Question: What is a state you can wear?
Answer: New Jersey.

Question: What the cowboy say to the pencil?
Answer: Draw partner.

2.       portokal
2516 posts
 30 Jan 2008 Wed 10:47 pm

a joke i received today:
why do men have only one wife?
because they are protected by law.

3.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 30 Jan 2008 Wed 10:57 pm

How do you know when you have passed and elephant?
You can't put the toilet seat down.

How do you know when you have an elephant in your bed?
By the 'E' embroidered on it's pyjamas.


How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
Your nose touches the ceiling.

There's another one about an elephant and a tree but I can't remember it (guess I'm not an elephant with a memory like that)


What do they call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
What do they call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.

4.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 30 Jan 2008 Wed 11:00 pm

Did you hear Whoopi Goldberg married Gerard Depardieu? She's now known as Whoopi Depardieu (dupidoo).

grrrrrrrrrrrroan

5.       portokal
2516 posts
 30 Jan 2008 Wed 11:13 pm

Quoting peace train:

H

There's another one about an elephant and a tree but I can't remember it



why do elephants hide in a cherry tree?
because they have red eyes.

6.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 30 Jan 2008 Wed 11:37 pm

Quoting portokal:

Quoting peace train:

H

There's another one about an elephant and a tree but I can't remember it



why do elephants hide in a cherry tree?
because they have red eyes.



and how do they get down from the cherry tree?
They wait for Autumn and float down on the leaves.

7.       portokal
2516 posts
 31 Jan 2008 Thu 12:04 am

Quoting peace train:

Quoting portokal:

Quoting peace train:

H

There's another one about an elephant and a tree but I can't remember it



why do elephants hide in a cherry tree?
because they have red eyes.



and how do they get down from the cherry tree?
They wait for Autumn and float down on the leaves.


i have just remembered a word i learned recently, while completing a school test: velocity...

8.       peacetrain
1905 posts
 31 Jan 2008 Thu 01:19 am

2 parrots sat on a perch.One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

9.       lalisia
0 posts
 31 Jan 2008 Thu 06:46 am

Q: Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?
A: She got cold and turned off the fan.

Q: Why did the blonde have square tits?
A: Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"

"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.
"What's the matter ?" asked the doc.
"Am I going to have puppies ?"

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

I personally belive..

10.       kafesteki kus
0 posts
 31 Jan 2008 Thu 08:11 am

lol
A blondie at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor announces"you will have twins"
she bursts into tears.."why are you crying?"the doctor asks.
"I know the father of the first one but who is the father of the other?????"

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