Living - working in Turkey |
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What Pam Coo's case means to you Turkish serious friends??
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| 40. |
15 Sep 2007 Sat 08:54 pm |
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Quoting maria/mesut: I`m sure it`s not easy for her to talk about her privatelife here, but maybe this was her opportunity to get some help in the turkish language. |
This is part of the point. If you ask for this kind of translations on a public site you are allready talking about your private life. Everybody can read what is happening. And than it's more than normal people think something about what they read....
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| 42. |
15 Sep 2007 Sat 08:56 pm |
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Quoting maria/mesut: Quoting xkirstyx: I'm still confused...because she got pregnant in a situation that no-one wants to be in , and can see how upset she is, why are people just pointing out the negatives rather than trying to help. Of course, she realizes what she's done. Why not try to be nice rather than just point out that it's not a goos situation to be in? Are people actually feeling better for just telling this girl who is having such a hard time that she's made a mistake? And the people who sent her those rude negatvie private messages should be ashamed. Something I have seen happen a lot on this site, is people are very eager to judge, critisize etc. then say they are just helping. May be your intention, but maybe we should think about how it's coming across. Also, some people spend a lot of time on here posting and sending private messages. I think a lot of the people who agree with some comments are unaware of the private messages that are being sent in private too. But I have seen several girls receive unnecessary rude private messages. I just think a thread specifically about this situation was pretty vulgar. |
Very well said!! |
i am trying to help i have managed to get hold of one of my turk friends who speaks and reads good english , i am really hoping they will help with her message she wants sent , although i am a bit concerned because hes turk so i dont know what he will think of message  but i hope he still helps out  if he dont then 
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| 43. |
15 Sep 2007 Sat 09:00 pm |
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Quoting xkirstyx: I'm still confused...because she got pregnant in a situation that no-one wants to be in , and can see how upset she is, why are people just pointing out the negatives rather than trying to help. Of course, she realizes what she's done. Why not try to be nice rather than just point out that it's not a goos situation to be in? Are people actually feeling better for just telling this girl who is having such a hard time that she's made a mistake? And the people who sent her those rude negatvie private messages should be ashamed. Something I have seen happen a lot on this site, is people are very eager to judge, critisize etc. then say they are just helping. May be your intention, but maybe we should think about how it's coming across. Also, some people spend a lot of time on here posting and sending private messages. I think a lot of the people who agree with some comments are unaware of the private messages that are being sent in private too. But I have seen several girls receive unnecessary rude private messages. I just think a thread specifically about this situation was pretty vulgar. |
Hmm... I wonder how i, for eg. could get away without having rude PMs (maybe this post will be a good start?  )
Sometimes is good to admit you made a mistake... The essential starting point in solving the situation, change your attitudes...
A tread on this topic was not very thoughtful... yes.
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| 44. |
15 Sep 2007 Sat 09:16 pm |
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Quoting AEnigma III: Kirsty you are acting "holier than thou" but I have seen you posting comments on messages for translations before - one in particuarly about Puzzled (which I notice you have deleted now) as particularly harsh  
Dont be so sanctimonious |
particulary harsh? Don't be ridiculous. I said " they all say that" and I deleted it because I had already posted it. I had also communticated with that girl through private message too. I explained to her why I had said that. And I'm not acting " holier than thou" . I'm just trying to make the point that this girl, like many others should not be left crying by peoples posts on here. I'm not trying to act superior in anyway. I just don't like to see people get hurt.
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| 45. |
16 Sep 2007 Sun 07:09 pm |
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thnx kirsty!!
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| 46. |
16 Sep 2007 Sun 11:38 pm |
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this really sad, im not happy to tell you that but most turkish guys are like that,when it comes to a foreign girl most of them will think only about money or meat cuz,those kind of people already see the girls as a meat. so they like to play with foreign girls cuz its easier to have sex with them, i hear u ask why, cuz they grow up with no having sex and turkish girls prefer saving their virginity because our culture (even though there are many girls that not virgin they wont be in a relationship or sleep with those guys)and the guys im talking about never will get married with a girl not virgin,but when it comes to them they like to play with girls,yeah this sad and big ignorance..its so easy to say 'i love you' and easy to think you are in love with anyone but you all know it takes time...
i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.
it came to pam in this post but shes not the only one having these problems.she has right to ask for help with translations and maybe she has nothing else to do and theres nothing shameful. people do mistakes thats life is a big experience.yeah she shouldve been careful but thats not what we should talk about actually. i have never talked about these things here once i did and i think i did a mistake.we should not judge people here if u dont want to help dont do anything else as well.
so pam, im sorry your having hard time and if u need help feel free to ask...
btw sorry for my bad english, i hope i could tell what i meant...
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| 47. |
16 Sep 2007 Sun 11:57 pm |
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thanx turquoise, it means alot. and no your english isnt bad!!
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| 48. |
17 Sep 2007 Mon 12:11 am |
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Quoting turquoise: this really sad, im not happy to tell you that but most turkish guys are like that,when it comes to a foreign girl most of them will think only about money or meat cuz,those kind of people already see the girls as a meat. so they like to play with foreign girls cuz its easier to have sex with them, i hear u ask why, cuz they grow up with no having sex and turkish girls prefer saving their virginity because our culture (even though there are many girls that not virgin they wont be in a relationship or sleep with those guys)and the guys im talking about never will get married with a girl not virgin,but when it comes to them they like to play with girls,yeah this sad and big ignorance..its so easy to say 'i love you' and easy to think you are in love with anyone but you all know it takes time...
i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.
it came to pam in this post but shes not the only one having these problems.she has right to ask for help with translations and maybe she has nothing else to do and theres nothing shameful. people do mistakes thats life is a big experience.yeah she shouldve been careful but thats not what we should talk about actually. i have never talked about these things here once i did and i think i did a mistake.we should not judge people here if u dont want to help dont do anything else as well.
so pam, im sorry your having hard time and if u need help feel free to ask...
btw sorry for my bad english, i hope i could tell what i meant... |
hear hear!
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| 49. |
17 Sep 2007 Mon 02:46 am |
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Quoting turquoise: this really sad, im not happy to tell you that but most turkish guys are like that,when it comes to a foreign girl most of them will think only about money or meat cuz,those kind of people already see the girls as a meat. so they like to play with foreign girls cuz its easier to have sex with them, i hear u ask why, cuz they grow up with no having sex and turkish girls prefer saving their virginity because our culture (even though there are many girls that not virgin they wont be in a relationship or sleep with those guys)and the guys im talking about never will get married with a girl not virgin,but when it comes to them they like to play with girls,yeah this sad and big ignorance..its so easy to say 'i love you' and easy to think you are in love with anyone but you all know it takes time...
i saw many foreign girls hurt by those stupids and complaining about them but i wanna ask that how come u can be fool that much and believe and trust a guy that you dont know well and you cant even talk to him with no translation. if you can that means to me you want an adventure.if you dont want an adventure please be careful and make sure about the guys and make sure you are safe,dont be fool and make sure your not doing any mistake,at least see if he still loves you after you go back to your country.
it came to pam in this post but shes not the only one having these problems.she has right to ask for help with translations and maybe she has nothing else to do and theres nothing shameful. people do mistakes thats life is a big experience.yeah she shouldve been careful but thats not what we should talk about actually. i have never talked about these things here once i did and i think i did a mistake.we should not judge people here if u dont want to help dont do anything else as well.
so pam, im sorry your having hard time and if u need help feel free to ask...
btw sorry for my bad english, i hope i could tell what i meant... |
+100000 Well said Turquoise!!
and your message should pop up on a big screen right after someone joins this site for the 1st time. At least it could warn a few foreign girls about what can possibly happen to them by listening and easily believing those “I LOVE Us†and maybe it could reduce the number of what some members consider “annoying or repetitive translationsâ€; it could also save many from what we call heart breakers 
Sorry to say, but many girls (not all) join this site after (for whatever the circumstances) they had fallen for someone or after they have already made a mistake. Unfortunately, (and I speak for myself) for many of us, when we were new members of this site, we didn’t know where to start from, maybe many new members do not know there is a section called “Search in TC†to find out if someone else has asked for the same translation as theirs, again, this could possibly minimize the number “I love yousâ€â€I miss yous†translations so translators who kindly take their time would not get bored.
In the other hand,many of these girls, come here for help with translations not to be told what they should do to prevent something that it has already been done…
We all learn from our mistakes and if we don’t , shame on us. But I believe that in the case of PamCoo, she has learnt many things already. We all have different personalities and perspective of life; and we might think our actions and decisions are different or better than the others’ ones.
Yes, she exposed herself by presenting her problem to the public, thing that probably many of us would have never done. But, I can assure that if someone would have told her about what could have happened by exposing her problem here, she would probably have tried to find other ways to get help or find help by PM-ing someone who would kindly translate for her. We already know her situation but what is done is done with nothing else to do but wishing her the best for her and her baby…..
It would be nice if we could give any good advise before someone makes a mistake, but when we give the advise after the mistake has been made; then it doesnt sound like helpful. Plus, we should never forget that no one is exempt and that it can happen to any of us or someone close to us.
Regards 
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| 50. |
17 Sep 2007 Mon 03:01 am |
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i have a friend..she's not turkish..her father rejected either her and her mum when her mother was pregnant..
as her mum says it was not easy to reaise a child alone but "destiny" her mother says and adds "what mature us in life is our mistakes"..
now my friend is one of the most powerful human i know..and she has a great relationship with her mum..by the way her mum also had great other realionships..eee lifes going on...
i hope pam and her baby's destiny can be similar..
good luck...
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