benim elimden birsey gelmiyor-
I can't do anything about it
or:
I can't find any way to solve the problem

there's something urgent I have to do, forgive me, I can't come today, please forgive me my love

Know that what I have searched, I found in you, there was nothing before you, I have become existent with you.

my love how are you, believe me that thinking of you I can't sleep, you are always on my mind, I missed you very much, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever met in the world, I can't live without you.

PART 65

I was probably beginning to feel the illness named "motherland longing" (homesickness). All my three children were learning in university and could already be considered as adult young human beings; but even so I couldn't help myself thinking that they needed me. Especially the youngest of them my son Mustafa was on my mind. He was excessively devoted to me since his childhood. He had turned to a grown up man; but when he talked with me on the phone, he still couldn't control his voice from trembling of joy and excitement.
While I was thinking about the answer I was about to give Ms. Maral, I felt a strong hand touching my shoulder from behind and turned my head back. A short, plump Russian woman in her sixties and that I didn't know was standing in front of me. She was saying some things in Russian while smiling. The lady teachers began to laugh; but I didn't understand even a word of what the Russian woman was saying. Ms. Maral answered the woman with a serious manner. From her facial expression I guessed that she objected the Russian woman. While trying to undersatnd what was going on, the old woman seized my arm suddenly, and with a strength that couldn't be expected of her made me stand up. I began to panic and shouted: "Friends, what does this woman want from me? For God's sake, someone tell me what's going on!". My confusion redounded the laughters of the lady teachers even more; they began to choke with laughter. At the meanwhile the old Russian woman was pulling me ("habire"??). At the end, I relaxed a bit with Ms. Maral's explanation. The young woman, whose every movement made clear that she was forcing herself not to laugh (said):

You are my life, you are my everything, you became very ashamed because of me, what else my only one, what else, my life, my love, it's 4 days since I heard your voice, it's very hard to endure it, very hard, if I don't hear your voice for one day I become sad, worried and anxious, may God give me endurance power, as soon as I open my eyes in the morning I'm thinking about you, your absence is very hard Levent, very hard, I don't know what to do, I'm just praying and crying, I believe that we'll overcome everything, even if it's hard, everything will pass hopefully

Levent when you come home please inform me, let's change our mail addresses together, otherwise I might do something very bad accidently, apparently she had made a key done, I don't have anything to do with children, either you change your telephone and lock or I'm gone.

Yes it does, and it should be: "ben de" and "Türkiye'ye"

The important thing is that you improve from your current level. I'm working on each part, not doing it easily.

I've searched thoroughly but the first 3 letters you sent didn't arrive, the rest of them arrived to my house but I will continue searching, those letters are valuable to me.