why u always must write the last word??
anlastik

u need to write the last word too?
tell me the reason

No. I'm not always tell the last word, but this time i did it with a purpose: to provoke u. I knew I would work: ve bak , calisiyor, degil mi? he he he

no

i knew why u wrote last sentence..

having fun is always my preference..

I could just leave your last sentence but I can't

haha
i have a huge attraction

oh please....u really think it has something in common with u?

I met a man on the internet who was from Turkey. The love word came out of his mouth after the first encounter. Being a naturally "shoot it from the hip woman" I said, "how can you say that when you don't even know me". He knew I was right. But then he blew me away with all the little things from the conversation that he did like. We fell in love - seemingly - and I went there to be with him in Istanbul and travel around (after 3 months). It was a farce. Of course he cannot be an example of Turks because men can be the same from any culture. What I didn't like was being told endlessly about being his "honor" and that he could cut my throat and toss me in the banana field and no one would care. When I finally met his family...they were the complete opposite of him. They were incredible. Hell...if I could have married the family I would have and dumped him instead

Hi Italian Brat (!)

I have just visited this site for the first time and read your messages. I am wanting to learn more about turkish rules on marriage and your expereince interests me. I think I have more in common with you than some of the other users. I am English and met a turkish guy on holiday in the south of the country. I have been back there twice and we have been togther each time. I speak to him on messenger and sms.

Was your overall experience a good one. Are you still together? It sounds scary what you mention about honour and the banana fields. I am concerned about the possesivness and pushyness.
I am sure that he will ask me to move with him when I go back in August. Any advice gladly received. Thanks in advance.

Honour and banana fields...oh my God! Looks like a complete psycho I'm interested in what you said about his family. Do you mind telling more about it ItalianBrat? Thanks.

Hello Urch1n,

I do not think that my experience was "typical". In fact, it was downright nuts. I must preface this by saying that NO MAN anywhere in this world can be judged by the actions of this man.

The man I met was very possessive and inherently violent - not towards me but aggressive with others. He was a true racist. He talked about the Turkish Mafia tooooo much and the Italian Mafia toooo much. He had every Mario Puzo book he ever wrote and I believe now that me being Italian was his source of fascination.

The first time I went to Turkey I was with him for 10 days and we traveled all over. The best MY money could buy! It was his birthday so I didn't think much of it as I am extremely independent. Now, in saying that I am 35 and not foolish - but I believed him. 25 cards a day to my inbox, chatting for 12 hours at a time, phone calls, SMS...it was non-stop and every day. I have (2) little girls and he was so busy playing the "dad" card that it made me nervous. When I left him, I told him I would not return until I found permanent work there (have to watch out for my girls). He was a professed Anarchist (no problem, to each his own) and told me that my religion was no problem (originally).

In short, I found a great job in Alanya and was ready to return within 2 weeks. He TOLD me I was to close all my bank accounts in the US and in Italy and wire the money directly to his bank account (yeah - surrrre!). When I got back to Turkey he wanted to get married quickly. He was into my daughters immediately. I was thinking - no marriage right away (I am widow from my first husband). I said, "so essentially I will work full time, find a dede for my girls or cresh (sp?), take care of the family, provide my car, and what shall you do?" He said he didn't know and made no effort to be 50%. He wanted me to set him up in business and for us to work together. (Again - yeah - surrrrre!)

He demanded to change my name (and my girls), destroy my passport and documents, demand full Turkish citizenship and told me I would never see my family again and I would NEVER leave Turkey. He told me he was "erasing everything I ever was and for now on you will only be Turk!" He said he would refuse to talk to me in anything but Turkish and wanted me to finish with English and Italian. Orignally my religion was my own and he had the utmost respect. I told him that I would learn his religion and was proud to learn it (first trip). Then...he demanded that I did away with mine and convert fully to his. Not a request - a demand.

Then before going to Alanya we were at his parents house in Ankara. Of course it was inappropriate for us to stay together so, we slept apart. His family was wonderful. They treated me better than him. But, one night while my girls slept I was sitting in their kitchen thinking "this is not going to work - this is all wrong and how the hell am I going to get out?". I saw a flashing coming from their room. He was in there with Anarchist flags draped over their sleeping faces taking pictures. I left the next morning. I never made it to the job, and finished with him immediately. He never apologized for anything. He said when I left him I destroyed his "honor" and he swore revenge. Again - yeahhhh sure. I told him that he had no respect and was a liar and if that was honor he had a funny way of showing it. He told me I was not his "enemy" (I was thinking for the $8,000 I spent I would hope not!).

In retrospect, he changed. He was not the man I knew online. He was not the man I knew when I went the 1st time. And he beat the piss out of my car

I was so angry (with myself) when I left that I drove straight out of Ankara (with only a map and no knowledge of anything more than he told me), over to Istanbul, over the top of Greece, down the west coast and caught the first boat back to Bari, Italy - with my daughters in the backseat. I wasn't mad at him. I was mad a me. He called and emailed and asked me to return. Ahhhh, no.

Please do not take this as any example of what could happen. I do truly believe that he was an isolated case. If I didn't believe that, I would not be still interested in Turkish men.

I do wish you the very best of luck with your relationship, and go slow. In ANY relationship - anything worth having is worth waiting for if it is true and meant to be. Distance should never be a barrier if love is true, nor should time.

M~