I think it will show itself. When I met Kadir's parents, I was nervous too. But they are very modern people and we shook hands and kissed both cheeks. It was a bit embarrassing as in Holland we kiss three times: the first cheek gets a second kiss.
So I moved to give the third, and there was no cheek
I would behave like you usually do. If they are open-minded people, they will understand that you don't know the cultural code, and just saying one or two things in Turkish, will show them that at least you try
When I first met Kadir's mum, I said 'çok memnun oldum'. She smiled 'ohh so cute' gibi, so I figure this is only said when leaving
The next morning (Kadir and I got separate bedrooms and I stayed in a room with my younger sister), I offered to help with the breakfast, so she told me to cut the bread and pour the tea. Though I don't consider myself to be an adult and I'm sure that Kadir's previous girlfriends will have looked older, I'm sure his mother would never have treated them the friendly way she treated me. Kadir's parents don't speak English very well, so they spoke Turkish to me and I replied them in basic, 'mistake-full' Turkish. But I showed that I tried
I think it is all about your attitude: just be friendly and open and let them know that you really appreciate their invitation.
I agree with Erdinç.. the hand-kissing thing is really not a good idea. Before Kadir and I left the pansiyon he stayed in, the family of the owner (we became friendly with them), came to wave us goodbye. Kadir shook hands and kissed and I followed. One of the elder woman, who was a lovely, small, woman just grabbed my hand and I kissed and she put it on my forehead. So.. if someone really has the intention to do this to you, they will already probably do so
Like Erdinç said.. I'd be warned though.. Maybe they will just smile, because they don't usually do it, but understand that you read it probably in a travel-guide.. but maybe they expected you to do so anyway. In that case..
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