Düzelttiğin için teşekkür ederim

If you don`t have anything nice to  say, don`t say anything at all.

my try

Hiçbir şey  deme Güzel bir şey demezsen

ok ok Ill start

31st July 2007, suitcase in tow I boarded the plane in England, Bristol airport to be precise, heading towards Istanbul, not sure of the time , as it was three years ago ( actually I wasn`t sure of anything what I was doing where I would stay, what I would do ) just knew I had to do it.

Changed planes at Amsterdam ,carried on my to Istanbul, feelings within me pure excitment, not nervous at all, going alone to this beautiful city only filled my heart with joy, not knowing what I would find or how I would survive on my own, but I didnt give two hoots ,I was going to make my new life in Turkey come what may .

 Arrived at Atarturk Airport dont really know how I coped with the manik customs passport stuff but just seemed to flow through it.

The smell hit me, can`t describe but people who have been to Istanbul will understand.

 A dear friend who had known me for a while on msn promised to meet me at the airport and true to his word there he was waiting for me, with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand.

He had managed to find me a place to stay in SultanAhmet so we headed off towards there in a taxi, I could`nt really believe I was really there, it was like I was watching a movie, I repeated over and over to my friend "Im here I am really here it`s happening".

The sheer size of everything around me captured my mind and I frantically looked from left and then to the right of me , trying to take in every moment , it was manic, fast, breathtaking in every sense.

Ezan started to call and my heart filled, I thought it was going to burst I even cried at one point ,the emotion within me was hurting my chest.

( to be continued)

Finally arrived at my destination a small but very homely hotel right in the centre of Sultanahmet, (I discovered the following day that I could almost touch the Blue Mosque If I went to the roof terrace).

Anyway, I was greeted by the owner of the hotel who quickly took the bunch of flowers from my hands and thanked me for my kindness ( I later became very good friends with this cheeky adorable slightly chubby turkish guy).He welcomed me to Istanbul and showed me to my small but comfortable room.

It was the early hours of the morning but I wasn`t tired and knew my family in England  would be concerned about my whereabouts and If I had really managed to carry out my crazy dream of giving all up in England to go live in a foreign country.

 I had little knowledge of the language but my main reason for moving to Istanbul was to be forced into learning it with speed. I didn`t want to move to where many English people were living, I wanted to be surrounded by Turks, to observe listen and hopefully adjust to the culture.

My dear friend that had met me from the airport was still with me, and we sat on my bed, connected to the internet and there infront of me was my sister, I introduced her to my friend and we had a quick chat about  the usually things ( was I ok ?,how was the flight ?blah blah).  

My friend then left me and returned to his home, I sat on the edge of my bed listening to Ezan again , tiredness took hold of me and I finally drifted off to sleep, knowing in my mind, heart and soul I had made the right decision

( to be continued) 

So, I woke and realised I was here in this wonderful country with its enchanting amazing surroundings, What next ,who cares, I didn`t. Take every moment in life as it hits you slap bang in your face. No looking back only looking forward ,and that`s just what I did ,but not to far forward, just the next moment.

I quickly became friends with my hotel manager and he was very keen to know  all about me ,usual things, age, status kids blah blah, but the question he wanted to be answered  most was, why on earth did I leave England, alone, and want to come to Istanbul of all places ,what were my plans / what would I do? etc etc. I answered him with ," kim bilir, allah bilir" he laughed and agreed with me that I was deli kiz .

I actually worked for him on reception the whole time I was there. He quickly became aware that I had some knowledge of the Turkish language and would often say "hey deli Im popping out, manage the hotel and telephone for me", I did willingly as he charged me less for my room

I spent about three maybe four weeks living there ,treating it as my home, but I wanted a place of my own ,my hotel guy begged me to stay and that he would reduce the fee for my room ,but I wanted to move on.Im a bit of a butterfly ,can`t stay in one place too long, besides there was so much more for me to experience, see and explore.I loved SultanAhmet with its history, beautiful mosques and fliipin carpet sellers ,but I needed to get my own place, so off on the move again I went.

Found myself in a place called Bakirkoy, another recommedation from another Turkish friend of mine, nice place very busy busy ,and quite expensive to rent ,but I did, a basement appartment , a bit cold and dark ,but it was ok for my first port of call, plenty of cockroaches ,I even woke up one night fliking something away from my body, and woke up to find I had been sleeping with the little pests.

Started teaching english to turkish students in a place called Dialogue ,  I received  my certificate the weekend before leaving England. There was I, in front of 17 turkish guys teaching them English,  UNBELIEVABLE!

Back again

2AM in the morning here had a few sherberts at my local weekend haunt so I will continue

( hiccuppppppppp) . started to take in my new surroundings, Bakirkoy as I said is a very busy hussle and bussle life, no one seems to take much notice of anything going on around them ,they just all seem to have a purpose on their minds ,rushing here, there and everywhere. busy streets , tower upon tower of appartments, row upon row of shops ,cafes, oh police sirens ,yes always!

OH the beauty stength and sheer size of everything I saw on a daily basis would sometimes take my breath away>  Travelling at night with its electric light show of tower blocks lit up in vivid  blues, purples and greens  ,and with such speed! those dolmuş can`t half rocket through the hectic manik lanes of traffic.

I remember my son came to visit his half crazed mother, and his first experience of travelling on a dolmuş from Bakırköy to Taksim Square, he thought they were all crazy lunatic drivers of course I had adjusted to this experience by now and just laughed.

I may say though, living in  Istanbul for over 14 months or so, I never once saw a traffic accident, ( caused a few) yes they drive fast but they seem very aware of what`s going on around them and I suppose it`s the only way to get from a to b in Istanbul ,because the traffic problem becomes more evident as the day draws to evening, and then things really become hectic noisy ,but also thrilling to  be amongst

ok Friday night again sherbests have been consumed

"Istanbul istanbul aglıyor" sorry breaking into song there , anyway ended up living in this manik city for fourteen months many memories and stilll after nearly two years I miss her

I spent most of my time walking around the place ( when not stuck between two turkish guys on the tram at rush hour ,in the heat of the summer sun , face to face with a complete stranger) with my headphones on,listening to turkish songs desperately willing myself to try to understand what the heck they were singing ,but I didn`t really start to hear the sounds of turkish  until much later ,but now when I listen to songs that I heard In Istanbul, finally there are making some sense. It has been a hard and sometimes a disheartening experience trying to learn a different language, when for years upon years only hearing the soundsof your native language , but I was determined and still am to become fluent enough to live, talk and mix with my Turkish neighbours of this world

ENOUGH!

Someone with better knowledge needs to do this ,im not sure about the first one I did either

 my try but wait for corrections ,it was hard because some letters are missing ,so it was a bit of a guess

 sorun yok çok güzel Türkcen,farkında değildim,nerelerdeydin?

maybe the second bit is

a person should take caution when trusting someone a second time

  its nonsense to say you wont trust anyone in life, a person should think who to trust a second time

something like that

awwwwwwwwwwww thankyou daydreamer

Senden uzakta hep bir þeyler eksik

Gönlümde derman yok inan bir nefeslik

there is no strength in my heart?

Ne bir avuntu nede biraz ümit

neither consolation nor little hope

Ne yaptýn bana, nedir bu sessizlik

what did you do to me, what is this silence

Ýçimde bir þey acýyor sen gelince aklýma herþeyim

something aches within me whenever you come to my mind my everything
Senden uzakta hep bir þeyler eksik
Gönlümde derman yok inan bir nefeslik
Ne bir avuntu nede biraz ümit
Ne yaptýn bana, nedir bu sessizlik

Ýçimde bir þey acýyor sen gelince aklýma herþeyim
Yerine sevemem, yerine sevemem

I can`t love anyone  other than you, i can`t love anyone other than you
Razýyým yapayanlýz tükensin yýllarým ama

im wiling all  alone you consume exhaust my years but
Yerine sevemem, yerine sevemem

I cant love anyone other than you

Olmuyor, denedim, yine de yerine sevemedim herþeyim
I tried but its not happening,  I couldn`t love anyone in place of you again my everything

Senden uzakta hep bir þeyler eksik
Gönlümde derman yok inan bir nefeslik
Ne bir avuntu nede biraz ümit
Ne yaptýn bana, nedir bu sessizlik


Ýçimde bir þey acýyor sen gelince aklýma herþeyim
Senden uzakta hep bir þeyler eksik
Gönlümde derman yok inan bir nefeslik
Ne bir avuntu nede biraz ümit
Ne yaptýn bana, nedir bu sessizlik

Ýçimde bir þey acýyor sen gelince aklýma herþeyim
Yerine sevemem, yerine sevemem
Razýyým yapayanlýz tükensin yýllarým ama
Yerine sevemem, yerine sevemem
Olmuyor, denedim, yine de yerine sevemedim herþeyim

 my try sorry its probably not accurate! but sometimes you have to appreciate peoples efforts