PART 32
We knew that many cocky girls, who didn't even look at us, were in love with him. But he didn't look at any other than that ugly girl whom I didn't know her name and learned in the next- door class! The girl was actually a BED faced, but such a mood, such a whim… As if she were Turkey's beauty queen. She didn't even consider our Aziz enough to throw a casual look at him. Maybe she wasn't even aware of Aziz. But I still remember that some of her friends, who didn't know that my soul mate Aziz was lovesick and dared to follow her after leaving school, had beaten Aziz thoroughly (?). (I'm not sure who followed whom and who beat who here…help metehan!)
Aziz had sent his mother and father to ask her marry him. Both her family and the girl had refused this offer. After that they had registered the girl in another school. And Aziz had left school for that reason. Years later, I have learned from a friend that he became a policeman, married and worked in a city at the Far East.
I awakened from my abstractedness with Shahid's voice:
- Yes my friend, I'm in a situation where I can't control my feelings. This is an experience I haven't lived before. A woman, maybe even without acting consciously towards me, has conquered me. She has such a beautiful and noble pose that… It's impossible not to be amazed by how she succeeded in keeping her noble manners inside the Soviet system, which wiped off all personal differences between people and brought them into a flat situation! I don't know if you believe me; lately almost every moment of my each day is passing with thinking about her!

You say "başka bir şey" (anything else) or "hiç bir şey" (nothing). "her şey" means "everything"

Hey, hello dear how are you? Did something happen? You had entered the net but hadn't answered my messages, it's my last night, after this I won't be able to enter the net, school is starting, for the last time I will enter tomorrow, never mind maybe you have work to do, take care, see you

beauty queen (or: the most beautiful in the world), good evening, I can't stand it come already, I'll "finish" you by kissing my baby

you're right ambertje

you are very funny, try and we'll see if you can do it, but don't forget that the fact that I don't answer to you isn't because of my inability but because of my respect, I only wanted you to not look for a girl for my love(r) but what have you said I didn't deserve it, besides I don't care about your salon (shop?) I'm going there to see my beloved, otherwise I don't have any business there, shame on you what should I say...

you are welcome laubaby

(continued):

I don't want to upset you more than that, first ask yourself how much of a (young) man I am and then look at others and argue with others ok, don't ever be a hero in letters, if you have the nerves come here and then talk, I don't have a problem with you, if I see you in front of me now I don't recognize you, do you understand? If your aim is to marry and to go to England I say good luck, don't say to me that you love, how much appreciation you receive give the same, ok? That person called me and talked to me for (long) minutes and talked to me in the Internet, if she only asked how I've been I wouldn't tell her "kiss your lips", I used her and dumped her no I have no business, I tell you don't love, don't get attached, try to go to England for your life, if you dont succeed don't write to me unstably, approach like a man, I'll come 10 steps close to you (?), may God protect you.

Yes my pretty brother you can't write to me this way, I think that now we are very far away from each other so you've written whatever you wanted I understood you but you are an ignorant person and you can't comment about my youth any more, if you told me what you've written to my face I would laugh and go and for your happinees, that person becomes angry when you call me, I would tell you not to call me anymore, what do you know about me, why are you talking about youth (being a young man), are you very much a young-man, do you know what it means, boy, I went out with that person and I gave her the sack because she was too young but that person came to me again, yes, repeatedly I slept with her because she liked me but I saw it only as a summer love, I slept with her, we've been together and then she left and in the last day I drove her away I said fuck off and go but she came again ok my young brother

(to be continued)

The Rains (Yağmurlar)

The streets are quiet the nights are a nightmare
My hands tremble, who am I who is the one keeping silent
There's neither who asks, nor who knows, I have no reason
The man who abandoned me, you laugh, I had given up dreams

If you don't love me love the rains
Let the clouds cry, you laugh, let the sun rise again

I'm going, my eyes full of tears
Your memory is a pill to my heart
You love the rains
Let the rains rain on me

I'm going, my eyes full of tears
Ah, blead, blead on (me?) again
You love the rains
Let the rains rain on me