I think it will sound better when these words are changed:

bırakılan > bırakılmış

bulunan > bulunmaları

hullanmaktan > kullanmaktan (probably wrong spelling)

onların > ebeveynlerin

edilen > edilmiş

hem de > ve de (not really necessary)

da > da

harp00n, aynı anda başladık galiba

she sleeps

O uyukur uyur

She sleeps on the sofa

kanepeye ’de o uyukur o kanepede uyur

She sleeps every afternoon.

Her öğleden sonra o uyukur uyur

The teacher is here

öğretmene burda öğretmen burada

Doğru. Correct.

Sampanya, that long text you´ve shared is old Turkish and even many people today don´t understand every word. They can understand the meaning though. Think about it for learners.

I think he meant the first meaning. While you are serving teas, say "buyrun"

I guessed correctly!

Ben doğru tahmin ettim!

her gülün eti yenmez

not every rose´s meat is eatable.

It doesn´t sound proper. There is another saying "Her kuşun eti yenmez" (not every bird´s meat is eatable) but maybe the person plays with words.

soğuktu

Ne kompliman, ne tatlı dil, ne de iltifat bu kadını yola getiremedi.

Neither a compliment, nor a sweet tongue, or attention made this woman chastened.

Ona 8 aydır aşkını kabul etmesi için yalvarıyor.

He is begging her to accept his love for 8 months.

Halbuki bütün bunları yapacağına ona yarım kilo yeşil mercimek alsaydı mesele kalmazdı.

However, if he would buy her half kilogram of green lentils instead of doing these, there wouldn´t be a problem.

Halk Bakkaliyesi, Muhteşem ve Mahtumu

Halk(People´s) Grocery, Muhteşem and Son´s

You are so sweet my dear... I hope Paşa is going to be little groom in our wedding.

As scalpel said, they call that little boy Paşa (means general).