Living - working in Turkey |
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Buddhist marry Muslim
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| 100. |
04 May 2007 Fri 08:22 am |
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By Sharrifa Carlo
"In reference to women, the Quran and the Hadiths have mandated various rules in regard to behavior, appearance and rights. Some of these may seem constricting to western women, causing them to pity Muslim women, but these women fail to realize that Muslim women do not feel constricted by these rules; we feel liberated, and in fact, as Muslim women we should pity western women. The Muslim woman is not forced to display herself to find a husband. She does not lower herself into competition with other women, using her body as a lure. Secondly, the Muslim women supports no man. Her property is off limits to her husband. It is his duty to provide for her and her children, regardless of her personal wealth. Thirdly, the man has no right to physically harm his wife. While some western scholars negate this by quoting from the Quran that a man is allowed to beat his wife, they fail to mention that the only condoned instrument for this beating is a siwak. (A siwak is a piece of wood, used as a toothbrush, about as thick as a pencil, and about half the length.) It is highly doubtful that this instrument could cause a child any damage, much less a woman."
The second and third reason is hilarious. 
The Western concept of women's freedom and rights, in reality, equates women's rights to their "right" to three main things:
1. Taking off their clothes or wearing skimpy clothes.
2. Taking on jobs outside of the home
3. Mixing with men.
Sigh, there goes the drinking, clubbing, wearing halter tops or skimpy dresses. And all the guy friends and exes...can't talk to them anymore. As to the 9-5 gig, sigh, geez women will just have to sit on their butts all day, do a little cooking and maybe switch to commodities trading or something from home. Ok, I'm just joking... who knows what the heck I'll do (I don't even know myself) and men say that women can't make up their minds  .
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| 101. |
04 May 2007 Fri 08:33 am |
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Quoting mltm: I think the problem with you is you always challenge with yourself, it should be a very tiring thing. You don't accept your own nature, and your own nature makes you frustrated. Being weaker at some points to men doesn't make me feel inferior to them, I am at peace with my own nature. |
Women weaker than men? From what era does this thinking come, the 18th century? (And I'm not talking about muscles!)
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| 102. |
04 May 2007 Fri 08:58 am |
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Quoting mltm:
I think the problem with you is you always challenge with yourself, it should be a very tiring thing. You don't accept your own nature, and your own nature makes you frustrated. Being weaker at some points to men doesn't make me feel inferior to them, I am at peace with my own nature.
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I think what she means is that it's stressful to always try to prove that we are more competent and more successful than men. In the end, who cares and what does it matter? Sure, we can put our minds to it and do anything we want ex: fly an airplane, be a doctor, run marathons, be an executive, a lawyer, make millions...but the only person we're trying to prove something to is "ourselves" because in the end, we only have to live with and face the person we are (in the mirror).
In Islam, men and women have different roles and it doesn't mean that women are inferior (I've talked to different people about this.) For instance, do you know that being a housewife is equivalent to doing multiple jobs (cook, cleaner, van driver, tutor, caretaker, laundry operator etc.) and if she did all those jobs outside she would be paid $183,000 yr according to a survey.
My mom is a housewife and I had no respect for her "position" for a long time, I always use to tell her that she should have a career and more ambition. I even said things like I hate cooking and cleaning,...I don't want to do that and I'll get a maid for that. But I am starting to have an appreciation for motherhood despite my not wanting to give up my freedom or to ever be a housewife.
In Islam, when asked who is the most important person in a family... the answer is "mothers" and the prophet said "mother, mother, mother" then "father" so that role is important and that's why the children are so respectful of their parents.
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| 103. |
04 May 2007 Fri 09:19 am |
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Quoting kat007: Quoting mltm:
I think the problem with you is you always challenge with yourself, it should be a very tiring thing. You don't accept your own nature, and your own nature makes you frustrated. Being weaker at some points to men doesn't make me feel inferior to them, I am at peace with my own nature.
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I think what she means is that it's stressful to always try to prove that we are more competent and more successful than men. In the end, who cares and what does it matter? Sure, we can put our minds to it and do anything we want ex: fly an airplane, be a doctor, run marathons, be an executive, a lawyer, make millions...but the only person we're trying to prove something to is "ourselves" because in the end, we only have to live with and face the person we are (in the mirror).
In Islam, men and women have different roles and it doesn't mean that women are inferior (I've talked to different people about this.) For instance, do you know that being a housewife is equivalent to doing multiple jobs (cook, cleaner, van driver, tutor, caretaker, laundry operator etc.) and if she did all those jobs outside she would be paid $183,000 yr according to a survey.
My mom is a housewife and I had no respect for her "position" for a long time, I always use to tell her that she should have a career and more ambition. I even said things like I hate cooking and cleaning,...I don't want to do that and I'll get a maid for that. But I am starting to have an appreciation for motherhood despite my not wanting to give up my freedom or to ever be a housewife.
In Islam, when asked who is the most important person in a family... the answer is "mothers" and the prophet said "mother, mother, mother" then "father" so that role is important and that's why the children are so respectful of their parents. |
There seems to be an issue of romanticizing the Islamic and the Western view of women. Indeed to say that 'Western' society or 'islam' values women more is nothing but an attempt to look at our world through rose colored lenses. Look around and just look at women and their lives in "Christian" and "Islamic" nations and you will see...reality is not a pretty picture. Covered or mini-skirted women across the world are NOT being respected or valued!
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| 104. |
04 May 2007 Fri 12:03 pm |
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| 105. |
04 May 2007 Fri 12:19 pm |
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Quoting vineyards: This world is full of unjustice. I am 40 and I spent all my childhood with the dream of going abroad, seeing the world up and down. I observed youngsters like me as they received papers from embassies bearing that bleeding red "rejected" stamp. Everyone could come to Turkey but Turks had to be very rich to be able to go abroad.
I promised I would not go abroad if it meant being treated that way. After all those years, although having enough means, I have still not attempted to obtain a visa for once. If you ask me whatever the reason for restricting this world to people of other countries can be, it is still something to be ashamed of. |
I fully agree, I am ashamed that I can come into your country without any hassle but you cannot come to mine the same way.
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| 106. |
04 May 2007 Fri 01:08 pm |
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vineyards
1. you went offtopic.
2. you are still that boy at 20, afraid of being "rejected", too proud to get refused. life isnt that easy, there are people who try again and again upon "rejections". and in your case you even didnt try! 
sitting on your bottom and blaming the rest of the world isnt wise. take your bum up and make your dreams come true!
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| 107. |
04 May 2007 Fri 02:25 pm |
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Thanks gezbelle, it's always nice to learn something new
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| 108. |
04 May 2007 Fri 02:50 pm |
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Quoting mltm:
You cannot say that there're no laws, if we're talking about the laws in the Kuran, yes, there's such a law that a muslim girl is only allowed to marry a muslim man, but it's up to you to respect this rule or not. |
+1000000
Yes,that is true,Muslim girl can't marry other man except Muslim man,and
Muslim man is allowed only to marry a woman with a holly book,meaning
Muslim,Christian,Jewish, not anything else.
And YESSS,its in Kor'an not just in Hadith too
İ suggest for those who argue is to read Kur'an....and UNDERSTAND!
And btw,Muslim girl can marry without her father or uncle permission.
İts not haram.
When its written her father marry her,or uncle,that was for virgins,because in the old days girls were shy to say i want to marry this man infront of people so she tells her father or uncle that she accept.
And last,in İslam we should respect our parents of course and do what they want but not for a personal bases.
İ mean,if Father said something we should obay,but if he told his son to divorce his wife,then if the son didnt obay is that haram ?!
Of course NOT !
There was a post here,and its more than logic,if you need a teacher to understand Math ,or even to study Language,so of course you ned a teacher to understand what you read,and dont understand it well,or understand it wrong
So,how come you dont need same in İslam or Kur'an?!
You see yourself better than mathe teacher or language teacher ?
Why do you think you understand better than İmam ?
Read first,understand firts,then start to have own opinion.
How can you have opinion in something you dont understand ?!
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| 109. |
04 May 2007 Fri 02:55 pm |
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Quoting Trudy: Quoting jamila: of course you have to be amuslim |
I don't get the 'of course' part. Let everyone make their own choice, have their rights in believing what they want or not. Again I agree so much with karekin who said: http://www.turkishclass.com/forumTitle_11_7983_106 |
İts not achoice to agree on the of course part or not Trudy.
They are talking about rules in İslam,so its not negotiable!
İf i say Salat is must in İslam for 5 times at the day,someone will say 3 are enough and start negotiate ?!
İts a RULE !
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| 110. |
04 May 2007 Fri 03:08 pm |
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İslam as any other religions consist of rules,and those rules are NOT negotiable.
Maybe you could've done it if we were at prophets time,but unfortunately Muhamed SAV and Christ RA have died !
So if we follow the rules all,we would be good Muslims or Christians or what ever !
İf we dont follow,its between us and ALLAH.
But at least be honest and say we know and dont follow,and dont hide behinde 'there is no ayat in Kor'an'
No there is ayat,if you dont know,its your responsibility,if you dont understand its also your responsibility.
As you see,in Kor'an there is ayat said Father,or Uncle should marry the girl,that was for a reason,and it didnt say its forbidden the girl marry herself.
What did people understand ?
That its haram'forbidden' a girl marry herself !
There are teachers of each religion 'İmam ,priests,...'
And there are the Holy books make them explain to you !
And if you dont want to obay ,then say i dont do obay,dont day its not there !
We're not kids,at least carry on responsibilities of what you're doing,or not doing.
We are mature enough to do that...i think !
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