So you found the "un-ignore" button!

Yes I have been un-ignored..

and guess what? She PMed me back.

I am still considering if I should  make her PM public or not..

 A bottle of Raki says you wont make it public

Why Santa couldn´t possibly be a man!!

Men can´t pack a bag.

Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.

Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.

Men don´t answer their mail.

Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."

Men aren´t interested in stockings unless somebody´s wearing them.

Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.

Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Lesluv, please DO edit post 223. It ruins the allignment

 has the allignment been restored?

A christmas story for those of you having a bad day

When four of Santa´s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce
toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.


Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed
Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out,
Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked,
the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot
of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank
all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally
dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces
all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice
had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door,
yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.


The angel said very cheerfully, ´Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn´t this a
lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to
stick it?´


















And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree.

Husband says to his wife:

"If we won the lottery, what would you do with your half?"

Wife replies:

"Pack my bags and leave you!"

Husband says:

We have won a tenner, here´s your fiver - now f*ck off"

A man with no arms and no legs is sat on a towel on the beach.

3 beautiful women are walking past and the first one says "poor thing, have you ever been kissed?"   He said no so she kissed him and walked off.    The second woman said to him "poor thing, have you ever been hugged?"  He said no so she hugged him and walked off.

The third woman says to him "poor thing, have you ever been f*ck*d?"  He said no so she replied and said:  "Well you are going to be now - the tides coming in!"